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devilsrule33

Grantland Dictionary - NHL Edition

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Great stuff from the very funny Sean Mcindoe (AKA @downgoesbrown)

 

See the whole list here

 

 

Day-to-Day (adj.) — the term used for any injury where a hockey player has not had a limb amputated.   

 

Dead Puck Era (n.) — a period of hockey history, spanning from roughly 1995 to 2004, in which both scoring and excitement levels plummeted, thanks to an emphasis on stifling defensive systems. The era is over now. Not because scoring is up much, because it’s not, but because we all just agreed to say it’s over.

 

 

Enigmatic (adj.) — a term applied to any player whose personal motivations seem to be inconsistent with traditional hockey values but remain somewhat opaque because of the player’s reluctance to fully divulge his … oh, who are we kidding, it means “Russian.”

 

Intense (adj.) — showing strong emotions and/or passion for the sport of hockey.

 

Intensz (adj.) — nice try, Bobby Ryan.

 

Neutral Zone Trap (n.) — A defensive system that became popular in the 1990s and is widely blamed for causing the Dead Puck Era. If you ask any hockey fan how it works, they’ll reply, “By clogging up the neutral zone.” If you say that you know that but want them to actually explain how it works, they will say, “Hey, what’s that behind you?” and then run away.

 

Real Hockey Fan (n.) — a fan who follows the game exactly as closely as you do. (Any fan who follows less closely is a scorn-worthy newbie; any fan who follows it more closely is an obsessive weirdo.)

 

Slewfoot (v.) — the act of dragging your foot behind an opponent’s skates to trip him; considered one of the dirtiest plays in hockey when anyone else does it, but an unfortunate accident whenever that one guy on your team does.

 

Timeout (n.) — the ability of each coach, once per game, to signal for a 30-second break between whistles. Was once used strategically to shift momentum, deliver fiery speeches, or draw up last-minute faceoff plays. Is now used exclusively to rest tired lines after a first-period icing call.

 

 

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Damn, if you haven't already, read the full list.  It's friggin' hilarious!

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Mark Messier Leadership Award (n.) — an award given to a player who, based on history, will show impeccable leadership qualities in the coming months as he’s backstabbing his own team to go chase a Cup somewhere else.

 

Hahaha, finally the media calling Messier out for what he really was.

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Mark Messier Leadership Award (n.) — an award given to a player who, based on history, will show impeccable leadership qualities in the coming months as he’s backstabbing his own team to go chase a Cup somewhere else.

 

Hahaha, finally the media calling Messier out for what he really was.

 

Kind of funny if you think about it...if the Devils win Game 7 in the ECF or the Canucks win Game 7 in the SCF, Messier's time there would've been remembered very differently.  The Rangers were perilously close to not getting it done.

 

In fairness though, you could apply the "What if" paintbrush to a lot of deciding games that were very close. 

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Mark Messier Leadership Award (n.) — an award given to a player who, based on history, will show impeccable leadership qualities in the coming months as he’s backstabbing his own team to go chase a Cup somewhere else.

Hahaha, finally the media calling Messier out for what he really was.

Lmfao, that's the best.

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Mark Messier Leadership Award (n.) — an award given to a player who, based on history, will show impeccable leadership qualities in the coming months as he’s backstabbing his own team to go chase a Cup somewhere else.

 

Hahaha, finally the media calling Messier out for what he really was.

 

I believe this is a reference to Daniel Alfredsson receiving the award and then leaving Ottawa.

Edited by Triumph

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Old-Time Hockey (exp.) — a term popularized by the movie Slapshot that refers to a style of play that was not overly violent or aggressive. For reasons nobody is quite clear on, today the term is exclusively used by fans to describe a style of play that is overly violent or aggressive.

 

So true

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Old-Time Hockey (exp.) — a term popularized by the movie Slapshot that refers to a style of play that was not overly violent or aggressive. For reasons nobody is quite clear on, today the term is exclusively used by fans to describe a style of play that is overly violent or aggressive.

 

So true

 

I think a lot of people (even long-time hockey fans) see grainy clips of bloody brawls involving the mid-70s Flyers teams and just assume hockey was like that every single game, regardless of who was playing.  The era and look of Slapshot keeps it going as well.   

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How did you know who Down Goes Avery is? It's not a secret? I love that guy, his tweets are superb

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So true:

 

Mark Messier Leadership Award (n.) — an award given to a player who, based on history, will show impeccable leadership qualities in the coming months as he’s backstabbing his own team to go chase a Cup somewhere else.

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How did you know who Down Goes Avery is? It's not a secret? I love that guy, his tweets are superb

 

Down Goes Avery? That guy is the unfunniest of the unfunny.

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Yup, but could have went a few ways with one. Messier getting a leadership award after him is laughable on its own.

 

http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=1385597

 

I was going to take issue with a lot of this post - mostly the on-ice stuff because I know off-ice he was a disaster - but yeah his shot rate nearly halved when he got to Vancouver.  How do you play 22 minutes a game and get 1.64 shots a game?  That's incredibly awful.

 

Yeah, I think it goes both ways with the original DGB joke.

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Down Goes Avery? That guy is the unfunniest of the unfunny.

 

he's awful I agree. I'm too lazy to hit unfollow but he's just awful

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