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Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers

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Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/294453

A Chinese news publication has reported that the Taliban are training monkeys to shoot and kill American soldiers. As one publication stated, either the news outlet was pranked or has nabbed an outrageous scoop.

The coalition forces in Afghanistan have some of the most sophisticated weaponry in the world. NATO powers in the region have everything from fighter jets to dangerous weapons to highly trained combat soldiers.

But the Taliban is supposedly investing in monkeys. That is what the the People’s Daily, a newspaper owned by the Chinese government, is reporting. According to Friday’s report, based on British intelligence, the Taliban is recruiting monkeys, and training them to use weapons and fight against American troops. American military intelligence experts are calling them “monkey terrorists.”

Reporters in the Waziristan tribal area, the Afghanistan-Pakistan border region, have allegedly taken photos of “monkey soldiers” holding AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns.

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Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers

Teachers should have higher IQ's than their students. So, this will never work.

Edited by ben00rs

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:rolleyes:

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Teachers should have higher IQ's than their students. So, this will never work.

Ba-zing.

But seriously though...I hope this is a joke

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Where's Warren the Ape? I'm pretty sure he would fill that role very perfectly.

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I thought all dogs and cats had to die before apes became servants.

Kill any monkey who calls himself Caesar on sight!

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wouldn't a pack of monkeys trained to swarm and attack be more effective then ones with guns, i mean monkeys can be downright evil creatures a pack of two dozen or so rushing a base could fvck sh!t up real quick

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They don't need ammo they just need their own poo

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I thought THEY were monkeys?

As an animal-lover I am inusulted that you would degrade monkeys like that.

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As an animal-lover I am inusulted that you would degrade monkeys like that.

I must be racist towards monkeys to compare them to those swarthy murderers.

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I thought THEY were monkeys?

Damn, you beat me to it. Seriously, they keep women locked up in their homes and murder virtually anyone who disagrees with them; no monkey would do that. Come to think of it, as a descendant of monkeys I resent the comparison!!! :yea:

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They don't need ammo they just need their own poo

No sh!t, really? That's a pretty crappy thing to do. Then again, I guess I'd be in a poopy mood if I were 'drekking' around the bowels of southern Asia throwing my feces around. Frankly, after all the walking, all you'd want is a nice firm stool... assuming one could be produced.

:P I'll keep my day job...

-Aaron

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No sh!t, really? That's a pretty crappy thing to do. Then again, I guess I'd be in a poopy mood if I were 'drekking' around the bowels of southern Asia throwing my feces around. Frankly, after all the walking, all you'd want is a nice firm stool... assuming one could be produced.

:P I'll keep my day job...

-Aaron

That post reminded me of this

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That is one monkey movie I would pay to see. "Dunston Checks In, Infidels Check Out."

:lol: Nice.

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