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CRASHER

NFL Week 7

45 posts in this topic

So, now the NFL has made a BIG sh!t about “head to head collisons” and how we won’t tolerate them… hell they even went as far to pull merch that was on their own website of James Harrison laying a massive hit on Massaquoi this week (I still want to see how you tell a guy coming in at FULL SPEED to change his direction and more as a guy slips or flinches at the last second… yes tackling as a whole in the NFL does suck, but the fact of the matter IS this is a collision sport played at FULL speed and this stuff is gonna happen….maybe you need softer helmets and shoulder pads (that is half the reason these players are missiles)… or pull a page from hockey, don’t allow a player to leave his feet to make a hit, unless the guy with the ball is in the air…. But turning the NFL in Flag Football 2.0 is NOT the answer…this is the biggest over-reaction I’ve seen since Gary Bettman put the “safety nets” in NHL arenas… argh!!! In a related story, I go to the NFL site, because you know I do like research sh!t…. And what do I see on there… a big ol’ Southwest Airlines ad that says HEADS UP… fvcking frauds you are NFL….Anyway, better get to the games while we still have football to talk about!!!

Sunday Oct 25:

1pm:

Bengals at Falcons

Boy the Falcons sure got smashed back down to Earth (better keep their heads up or it will be Mother Earth herself getting a 75k fine from the No-Football League this week if they crash head first right??) but what better remedy for a lil ass kicking then the god-awful Bengals (yes the bye week did not make me any less angry at Carson Palmer)…but hey don’t worry… TO and Chad85 found time to do a REALITY SHOW… that will only improve QB to WR interception ratios right?? And hey didn’t Cedric Benson get arrested again?? They say same old Jets… same ol’Bengals here….

Winner: Atlanta

Game Quality: ** ¾

Jaguars at Chiefs:

The Chiefs have lost two games in row now and both you would consider “ROUGH” circumstances at BEST (and better teams mind you), but now they get a break… and Jack Del Rio… oh DO I HAVE SOME WORDS FOR YOU….this gutless fvcker down 30-3 last week because the itty bitty ESPN network was running BEHIND ON COMMERCIALS, caves and calls timeouts with 90 seconsds left in an NFL FOOTBALL GAME…think about that for a second…. Now imagine the Super Bowl runs fast… yeah… you get the point, yes I am pissed (and I mean so pissed that when I threw my blackberry across the room I ended up breaking it) because the Chris Johnson TD run basically ended my fantasy football season (I know adding $215 more to the bill on a new phone wasn’t genius either)…but anyway…. Del Rio is a gutless pansy who’s afraid he will finally get fired from the worst football franchise in the sport and will be sniveling to the world wide leader in sport-desecration and needs to kiss the right ass so he ends up on NFL Live! One year… fvck him… fvck his sh!tty football team!! (PS, they’re also down to their 3rd string QB… and when you consider how awful the Jaguar FIRST string in… you’d rant about time out’s too!!)

Winner: Chiefs

Game Quality: * ¾ (just to see me blow a gasket again :P)

Washington at Bears:

Here’s a fun fact, 5 or 6 years ago I can’t remember when it was the Kyle Orton Bears against the Spurrier Redskins… the game was AWFUl… it was so bad, it became funny… the only TD was scored on a 30 yard Portis run after a botched punt, I think)… anyway… this game was historic (and like 7-6)….this game was the fore-father of what we now know and LOVE as our precious anti-football!! So I look and smile when these two teams hook up…. And come to think of it … this may not be different… hell the Redskins lost to the Rams… and the Bears lost at HOME to Seattle… this could be ugly!! But the Redskins do play tight D and cause problems for teams and offenses that don’t believe in blocking….**cough cough JASON GARRETT cough cough**…it’s a damn good thing Mike Martz got into football and not the feminine hygiene business but his willingness to not protect that which matters most would leave us with a LOT of leaky ladies… if you get my drift :P….this game will have some comedy to it and I expect the Redskins to win a hilariously ugly one!

Winner: Redskins

Game Quality: **

Rams at Tampa:

These two teams were expected to be COMBINED for two wins by this point and this was supposed to be a 5-star anti-football special of the ages… but nope, they been better then expected (being in the NFC helps)…the Rams aren’t good on the road (oddly Tampa is 2-0 on the road… WTF)…I think that’s enough to lean towards Tampa here in a game with some young talent in it that’s going to go very much un-noticed around the bars on a football Sunday… shame it’s kinda intriguing… but still I had enough St Louis in my life recently, thanks!

Winner: Bucs

Game Quality: ** ¾

Eagles at Titans:

Injuries all over the place here… Vick is still out, Deshawn Jackson is still picking brain cells out of the turf from the CLEAN HIT he took last week (hell the DB is more fvcked up from it then HE IS… and he gets fined *eyeroll*), Vince Young’s got a bad wheel too…and an eye opening stat here… Phily is 3-0 on the road… Titans are 1-2…that would make you lean to Phily if all teams were healthy… but Jeff Fisher >> Andy Reid, and his team is damn tough and I just get the feeling they pull this out (doesn’t hurt that the Eagles are NOT the same team without #10 out there….)….this one could be physical and bloody though… bring it on!!!

Winner: Titans

Game Quality: *** ¼

49ers at Panthers:

So the 49ers finally taste victory!! It gets easier from here…. The 49ers get into maybe the softest stretch of games in NFL history (so soft even the Cowboys could go 3-2 in it :P)…the Panthers go back to Matt Moore… which might make Steve Smith happy at least… but that team is still putrid (God I wanna see a Panthers/Bills game for the #1 draft pick, that would be amazing!!), and any game with Alex Smith in it has the chance to be a comedy of errors and that means a Mike Singletary explosion to rival mine on Monday Night (did I mention fvck you Jack Del Rio yet??), this will be anti-football levels of hilarity… find a way to watch this mess!!!

Winner: 49ers

Game Quality: **** ½ (oh anti-football love!!)

Browns at Saints:

Is there a 4-2 team in football that seems more under duress and with as many problems as the Saints have?? Probably not… the injuries are all over, Darren Sharper still hasn’t put the cleats on, Bush and Thomas are still out… all they must be saying is “thank God the Browns are on the schedule”… and they’re right… don’t worry Colt McCoy is still saying “thank God it’s not the Steelers or Ravens this week” too… don’t worry, the Browns still got no fracking chance!!

Winner: Saints

Game Quality: DUD

Steelers at Miami:

Well Miami got lucky getting a beat up team in Green Bay that was ripe for the pickings… not so much this week…. The Steelers come in with everyone healthy, ready to go and maybe a bit of snarl and PIST about the Harrison fines (which he is appealing and GOOD FOR HIM!!)… and we were sitting there last week wondering… what the hell is it with the Dolphins anyway? They have decent WR’s and Henne is improving… the defense is decent… and I think I nailed it… they’re a run first team, with no backs who scare you or can turn the little play into the BIG play… yeah Brown and Ricky are toot toot good, but neither one of them can hit the home run… hell even Marshall makes big plays but he doesn’t hit the home run either, so every drive has to be of the 10-12 play 90 yard variety…that’s not easy… and gee fat Parcells is already packing his bags and looking to eat his food elsewhere… what a shock….anyway…the Tin Foil Curtain unleashes hell here…..

Winner: Steelers

Game Quality: ***

Bills at Ravens:

Man if only I was running the Buffalo Bills….won this one pretty handily in Madden 11 last week (not as much fun as I had with the Lions… Parrish broke his arm, so I signed some jobber with a 55 rating but 95 speed and returns… and he returns his first two punts for TDs… it was funny… anyway)…why should I talk about the actual game anyway, the Bills don’t believe in winning and they get their wish here… GET THE BALL TO BOLDIN, thanks!!

Winner: Ravens

Game Quality: DUD (this is gonna be nasty….)

4pm:

Cardinals at Seattle:

If this was in Arizona this would be anti-football, I swear… but Seattle is good at home, it’s a weird thing… that team is so Jeckyl/Hyde with that, but they won on the road last week (go figure Chicago right?), and MAX MOON is still starting for the Cardinals (I dunno why yelling MAX MOOOOOONNNNN amuses me… I’m weird… whatever :P)

The Cards are a mess to me until they prove otherwise… and the Seahawks showed me something… and someone has to prove the 49ers owner wrong… why not Seattle right??

Winner: Seattle

Game Quality: ** (this could be amusing….)

Patriots at Chargers:

Another source of amusement… the Chargers fall off a cliff… ex-Charger Junior Seau tries to follow them (if only Owen Hart took free fall lessons from dear Junior, right??) the Patriots seem to be on a mission to prove Moss was the PROBLEM and not the solution and hell if Deion Branch can go 9/90 every week they will!! I have no faith in the Chargers to stop anyone… Gates is out… looks like Floyd is too… um.. yeah… screw the Chargers, GO DEION BRANCH!! (besides the pats seem to own the Chargers, least they can’t say it’s because Tomlinson is hurt this time)

Winner: Pats

Game Quality: ***

Oakland at Denver:

How in God’s name is Denver an 8-point favorite?? Maybe losing to the 49ers ruins all your cred, but holy hell!! Denver did come off a rough loss to a Jet team they should have beat… but still they are a pass only team that has issues putting teams away….Ah hell this is a steaming pile of football AIDS that only I could enjoy :P….*flips the imaginary coin*….there ya have it!

Winner: Oakland

Game Quality: *

8pm:

Vikings at Packers:

So the Vikings get the gift of the football Gods here… the Cowboys and then the Packers… two half-teams in a row… that ain’t right…the Vikings are going the right way, and the only thing the Packers are improving… the depth chart on the IR list…it’s not right, it’s not fair… but Favre walks in again and does it again (amazing how the NFL has buried his lil sext-aholic fits quickly and quietly… the exact opposite of the tar n feather job they did on Big Ben… perplexing….), this game’s gonna suck *ugh*

Winner: Packers

Game Quality: ** (CMON, you know you’re happy ESPN’s not doing this one)

Monday Oct 26:

NY Giants at Dallas:

There’s two things I like about this game…. it’s Monday Night so I can mute it and watch Raw and play Madden only caring how Felix Jones does….and this season is toasted already so I don’t have to waste time getting upset about this disaster…the Cowboys are a lost cause this year and the only move would be to fire coach huggy bear and his hippie ways… but if you do that, all you can do is promote from within… which means it’s coach Ginger-tard, in essence you’re promoting a guy fracking up 1/3 of the team and giving him the keys to screw the rest of it up??? NO THANKS… beat them, beat them hard and ruthlessly…. Set-up that Giants/Jets Super Bowl…. Humiliate and humble this team so a REAL coaching staff and philosophy can be brought in…..is there any doubt who I’m picking here???

Winner: Giants

Game Quality: ** ½ (people love seeing Dallas fail so enjoy :P)

Week 7 NFL Power Rankings:

AFC:

  • Steelers…. And now they got an offense too… oh boy…..
  • NY Jets, I need the Steelers to lose so my worst nightmare can be real…..
  • Colts…..slowly sneaking back up the tree again… hell it is the regular season
  • Titans….that 4th and 5 aside that was IMPRESSIVE without VY
  • Texans…gutty last minute effort, and another game they probably lose last year
NFC:
  • NY Giants… why not?? They’re going to the Super Bowl right??? :P
  • Eagles… pick a QB from 1-10 and let them play till they get hurt and repeat the cycle….
  • Atlanta…. Planet Earth says hi and hopes you got a ‘chute as you crash down….
  • Seattle, they won on the road… dammit, all my material is gone!!!
  • Saints…. Impressive win with their backs to the wall……..

Edited by CRASHER

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It's a telling sign that I couldn't bring myself to take the Dolphins +3 even after taking them every other week this year. Who knows, maybe we'll play up to our competition, but I'm not holding my breath.

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I know this write-up takes a lot time that you probably don't have.....,I was expecting quite a different take on LOTCB/MANTA match-up this week in Baltimore. This is going to be the McGhaee bowl.

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Week 3 NFL Power Rankings:

:unsure:

And was the Ravens loss really bad enough to warrant a dismissal from the top 5?

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I know this write-up takes a lot time that you probably don't have.....,I was expecting quite a different take on LOTCB/MANTA match-up this week in Baltimore. This is going to be the McGhaee bowl.

If Buffalo cared about playing football this season I would have.... when it comes to bad teams and they're not playing other bad teams... my interest in talking about them kinda lessens... unless I have an absurd story to tell in the process.... plus it kinda makes ya read the whole thing.... my big tangent was Was/Chi this week :lol:

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:unsure:

And was the Ravens loss really bad enough to warrant a dismissal from the top 5?

oops... fracking template :P

in the AFC... yeah it is, the Ravens have been spotty all year... and haven't come close to that top-end offense we expected and spent all that time MANTA-blocking for!

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It looks like a good matchup for the Pats, but this is always right around the time that the Chargers start to pull it together. Time to find out if that defensive performance against the Ravens was the real deal or if the Pats' D played above their heads.

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It looks like a good matchup for the Pats, but this is always right around the time that the Chargers start to pull it together. Time to find out if that defensive performance against the Ravens was the real deal or if the Pats' D played above their heads.

The Chargers don't wake up till November :lol:

With the Chargers missing their top 2 WR and Gates, a spotty running game... and a paper defense (the Chargers are #1 in total offense and defense, but yet 2-4, just to show you how worthless the stat IS... the Cowboys are 3rd and 4th in both stats :P )

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The Chargers don't wake up till November :lol:

With the Chargers missing their top 2 WR and Gates, a spotty running game... and a paper defense (the Chargers are #1 in total offense and defense, but yet 2-4, just to show you how worthless the stat IS... the Cowboys are 3rd and 4th in both stats :P )

Top 3 WR really...but nobody counts Vincent Jackson anymore even though he will come riding in on the white horse in Week 12 to collect a few paychecks :rofl:

Gates 'might' play but odds are when the Chargers fall behind 21-0 in the second quarter even if he's active he'll be sitting by then.

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Just keep throwing to Branch Brady that's all I ask :evil:

(well a few Ben-Jarvis TD's would be nice too :P )

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Let's see some Danny Woodhead love. :) I'll take 10 pts in yards on a weekly basis even if it means The Law Firm gets TD's

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Let's see some Danny Woodhead love. :) I'll take 10 pts in yards on a weekly basis even if it means The Law Firm gets TD's

You got your fracking 10 point gift on Monday night, hush your bitch-mouth!!!!!

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Hear that sound??? It's the manta-ego decompressing.... Ryan Fitzpatrick doing his best Joe Montana impression :lol:

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They better rule that Roethlisberger fumbled that ball at the goal line. I'm no Dolphin fan, but come on, get that right, zebras.

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No proof that Miami recovered the fumble? I saw with my own eyes that a Dolphin recovered it.

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No proof that Miami recovered the fumble? I saw with my own eyes that a Dolphin recovered it.

It was the correct call

Roethlisberger fumbled, no question. But they never ruled on possession after the play as the call on the field was touchdown, the refs never determined who definitely came up with the ball at the bottom of that pile...so they can't award possession to Miami.

Anyway

Dead-Dolphins-Jask-PersianGulf1.jpg

loved seeing Sparano going ballistic at the end of the game, such a classless douche

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Hear that sound??? It's the manta-ego decompressing.... Ryan Fitzpatrick doing his best Joe Montana impression :lol:

As the fate of the suicide league hangs in the balance on this last drive with five of the six remaining pickers needing to depend on the Ravens :lol:

And what the hell is with the Saints?! First they lose to the Cards after barely beating Carolina, now they're getting their hats handed to them by the Browns?! AT HOME?!

Edited by NJDevs4978

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Common sense. A Dolphin recovered.

The ruling on the field was touchdown. Not fumble and recovery Miami.

Can possession be ruled through replay...frankly I'm not sure. I've never seen it done before where they've used instant replay to determine who has the ball at the bottom of a pile. Could be wrong...

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three dolphins clearly jumped on the ball first. This was a bull$hit decision on the officials. We were screwed.

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Common sense. A Dolphin recovered.

If common sense existed in the NFL Calvin Johnson has a TD pass week one and the Bears lose :P

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three dolphins clearly jumped on the ball first. This was a bull$hit decision on the officials. We were screwed.

'Common sense' doesn't exist when the whistle blows the play dead and the officials don't seperate people in the pile to find out who has it. I've seen plenty of times where one team jumps on the ball only to lose it in the pile, they can't rule on possession unless it is beyond any doubt.

Edited by NJDevs4978

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'Common sense' doesn't exist when the whistle blows the play dead and the officials don't seperate people in the pile to find out who has it. I've seen plenty of times where one team jumps on the ball only to lose it in the pile, they can't rule on possession unless it is beyond any doubt.

The first bad call was to say it was a touchdown. Then it should of been the steelers challenging that call. That is where the fins were first screwed. I dont see how a goal line official can say ben broke the plane with possession

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If common sense existed in the NFL Calvin Johnson has a TD pass week one and the Bears lose :P

Indeed, sir.

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San Diego had enough anti-football for both teams today :doh1: Dropping a ball after you get up to run with it because nobody touches you on the ground, a backwards lateral that gets picked up by a Pat with nobody around and the stupid penalty on the last FG when it looked like they were about to make a miracle comeback.

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