After a VERY lackluster week 10 (QB drama and injuries aside)…hell I can’t remember a more boring 3:30-4:15 transition with NO games really in doubt (the Saints were but they ended before 4….you can make a case the Bills had a chance….but they’re the Bills and I never took it seriously….)…and aside a wacky and wonderful TIE GAME the 4pm games were not much better….least the bar is set low for this week (and I’m sure for plenty of drama when I cut out for my niece’s birthday for a bit)…so a calm week at the bar, aside of two jackasses holding up a stopwatch when poor Brian went to the potty, will be welcome…week 11… ENGAGE!!
Thursday Nov. 15:
Miami at Buffalo:
Let’s be fair…NEITHER team deserves to win this one….the Bills have been pathetic and rudderless all year….Mario Williams is still counting money with his bad wrist that hurts oh so much! The QB play has been horrid…and then there’s the “defense” simply BRUTAL… 410 yards a game…and 31 points allowed, yeah that’ll get a DC fired….don’t get me wrong, Miami ain’t been much better, that loss to the Titans last week was not only unacceptable…but downright embarrassing to watch….the difference is I like what Coach Regis is saying this week (I heard him on NFL radio and he was quite pissed off and determined to not have the same result this week)…add in no Fred Jackson for the Bills….and the Bills Front Office already looking at Franchise QBs for next year….not to mention I gotta stop this nonsense of Dolphin fans pissing at me because their team chose to take a sh!t last week….I take no blame for taking the better team and watch them take a nap for 60 minutes….get over yourselves!!!
Winner: Do I HAVE TO??? ….Miami
Game Quality: ANTI-FOOTBALL
Sunday Nov. 18:
Browns at Dallas:
Dallas had a nice little win over a more skullfvcked team then their own last week, while the Browns were off …and the schedule gets kinder to the Browns….you could say starting with this week….heh….I don’t like the match-up of the Browns WRs vs the Dallas corners, so it’s going to be a lot of short stuff and handoffs, which too is possible….while the Dallas offense should be able to look like an NFL team against the Browns D…and oh dear….the Browns have lost 11 in a row on the road…I didn’t need to know that….but I’ll play a more important card…the False Hope card….for the Cowboys to truly tease me as I fly down to Jerry World next week for the Thanksgiving Day game…a two-game win streak is the proper sauce for that Thanksgiving Turkey….
Game Quality: DUD (there will be more explosive plays when I’m at Ariana’s party…)
Jacksonville at Houston:
Let’s keep this short and simple…. I’m sure Jones-Drew was rehabbing his lil overpaid heart out this week all ready and feeling good about himself… “Coach who do we play this week??” …”Houston”… “OW COACH IT HURTS… I CAN’T GO!!”….I don’t blame him….could the Texans let down after the awesome win in Chicago? Sure! Could they play ¼ of this game and half-ass the rest and still cover? You betcha!
Game Quality: DUD
NY Jets at St. Louis:
So the mutiny has begun in Florham Park (fitting since I started a work mutiny there two years ago…), in-fighting, anonymous quotes (even Tomlinson was on the air this week going “it was Cromartie”)…. Tebow hate….Tebow love….Sanchez this…the coach that…I wish they’d all turn to the GM and say “where the HELL is the talent??”….the Rams on the other hand have to feel kinda good about that awesome TIE last week, but yet still annoyed ….they coulda had that if not for some awful OT penalties…the Rams should be fired up and ready for this one….they might even take it out a little on the Jets…. Wrong team… Wrong place…. Wrong time…. Sorry ‘bout yo’ damn luck…. (don’t worry the Jets have some winnable games coming…we need to get them up to 6-10 after all!)
Game Quality: ANTI-FOOTBALL BLISS!!!
Tampa Bay at Carolina:
Why are there so many BAD teams in the NFL?? And for frak’s sake can’t they play EACH OTHER so I can hoard more anti-football goodness?? *sigh*…. Carolina’s terrible and I’m already sick of Schiano and his crap and soft schedule victories (alright I’ll be fair…I was sick of him when he got hired….you’re making big boy money now, get the damn gap in your teeth fixed!)…. Carolina gets rolled again….the Cam Newton suggestion box is still empty….
Winner: Tampa Bay
Game Quality: DUD
Arizona at Atlanta:
Jesus, even I’m getting annoyed at all the crap beatdown games again this week, at least with this loss, it’s 6 in a row for the Cardinals and I’m in cruise control for my 6-10 dinner bet…FEED…ME…..MORE…..Go get ‘em Falcons!
Game Quality: DUD
Packers at Lions:
If Green Bay was healthy this would be an epic beatdown…but no Clay Matthews is a BIG loss (hurts me in fantasy too….but he does have an awesome Fathead commercial!)
Woodson is out….Nelson and Jennings are beat up….but the Packers are 11-1 vs Detroit under Mike McCarthy and they just got smoked by the Vikings in horrid fashion…and a loss this week stomps the coffin dead on the Lions this year….I’m ok with that, and I expect it and nothing but the best from A-Rod and whoever else is healthy and functional out there….
Game Quality: * ¾ (I’m just rooting for CalvinTron to be awesome….)
Bengals at Chiefs:
The Chiefs couldn’t beat half a Steelers team in prime time with Ben’s ribs hanging out of his football pads, how in the bloody blue hell do you expect ANYTHING from them this week? Yeah the Bengals COULD let down after playing the game of their careers against the Giants last week…but you’d also have to think the Bengals see the door as wide open to try to get back into this lil AFC playoff hunt with the Steelers in trouble too, and what better way to thank the Chiefs for taking out Big Ben, then by helping them get the first overall draft pick, right??
Game Quality: DUD (I give up…..)
Eagles at Redskins:
This game has some intrigue to it….thank God…though both of these teams are pretty much dead in the playoff hunt, the Eagles are just trying to do something right and they want to see if like Foley…is Foles Good? He had some decent zip on his passes last week….was he accurate? Not really…but neither was Vick, so the Eagles are used to that….and a soft and beatup Redskin defense is just what the Eagles need to let this kid see what he can do…not that the Eagle D is much better on the OTHER side…. This game should be chunk full of quality offense…well any offense is gonna look like quality at 1 this week….the only games that look worth watching are this and Dallas/Cleveland (how BAD is a week when the BROWNS are your football saviors??)…*sigh*….anyway, I’m gonna go with the home team and RG III gets back on the highlight reel side of life and does enough to win what should be a fun, sloppy, but entertaining as hell rivalry game!
Game Quality: *** (This is gonna look awesome compared to your options!)
Saints at Raiders:
Holy crap, the Saints are gonna be back to .500 after this week….see, you guys don’t need Sean Peyton…he can come home to Dallas!!...the Saints are getting some defense now (Atlanta only ran for like 50 yards)….some running from Chris Ivory….and some of the little things are starting to go right for them….the Raiders have none of this going on, average QB play, the running game is down to Kyle Reese and not much else and I didn’t even start to bash on the Raiders defense…..this won’t be ugly….but here let me handle this like the dummy in the office who always wins the pool would handle it…. Both teams wear black…one wears silver….one wears Gold…I’d rather have Gold then Silver!!
Game Quality: ** (the Raiders kinda fail is amusing)
Colts at Patriots:
Fun fact… rookie QBs playing Darth Hoodie’s defense for the first time…. 10-50 all time…oi….it’s a neat stat and all but I don’t think it means much here…the Colts have the weapons and the QB to go TD for TD with the Patriots….though I’m not sure the Colts are ready yet….yes they both have the same record and yeah you can say the Colts beat Minnesota and Green Bay this year….but this has typical Patriot win written all over it…I’m sure Luck will be fine and not wreck this game….and I’m really looking forward to this one (more then I would be if Manning was still a Colt….I wanna see what the kid can do against the Evil Empire….), this might be the ONLY “must watch” game all afternoon…..
Game Quality: *** ½ (just cause I like Luck more then Peyton…)
Chargers at Denver:
God what the hell happened to Philip Rivers?? The talent around him is less, the defense too….and the coaching staff ain’t getting better….maybe he’s trying to do too much….and I can’t blame him….it’s a mess in San Diego and it won’t get better till Norv and the Lord of No Rings get canned out there….Denver on the other hand has it all going on and hasn’t looked back since THE COMEBACK on Monday Night…one team steamrolling up….and one team doing the Owen Hart dive….yeah I gotta take the Broncos….
Game Quality: ** (oh PHIL……)
Baltimore at Pittsburgh:
Before Monday Night this seemed like a lock for the Steelers….the Ravens suck on the road, the defense has been horrible and Ben’s owned the Ravens since they were a mistake by the lake…but now with Ben out (and all I keep hearing all week is how BAD Leftwich’s delivery is and how he’s a statue in the pocket)…this is a MUST WIN game for the Ravens….time to make a statement and make the plays (maybe establish a running game too)….it doesn’t matter how….find a way…win this damn game…. Geesh I sound like a Ravens fan….I need to go wash my hands…ewwww
Game Quality: **** (Ravens better step up tonight)
Monday Nov 19:
Bears at 49ers:
It’s a battle of concussed QBs!!! (Actually that would be awesome to have the two QBs hook up American Gladiators style with the big sticks with the poofy pillows on the end…that would be awesome)…aside of the QB injury thing these two teams are VERY much alike….it’s amazing….run the ball first… sputtering pass offense….defense that wants to take over the game…this game’s gonna come down to mistakes….damn that’s so cliché….looks like Alex Smith is gonna start…and he’s better then Jason Campbell, and that small edge is enough for me to lean towards them too, plus the Niners gotta be stinging from that tie last week……
Game Quality: **** (good week to not have a hockey game eh?)
NFL Power Rankings Week 10:
- Houston…BIG TIME win last week
- Denver…shoved Kryptonite up Cam’s ass….
- New England…amazing how they trade for a guy and his suspension goes away isn’t it?
- Baltimore…time to man up this week…..
- Pittsburgh…not long for the top 5 at this rate…..
- NY Giants…yeah they lost too but I know what this swoon means….
- Atlanta…a real opponent….and a loss….no coincidence
- Chicago…probably win that game if Culter finishes it…..
- 49ers….Ties are awesome-sauce!!!
- Seattle….solid, steady and there every week