It’s been a unique week out here for sure….funny how a major storm like this can almost make you forget how mad you are at your football team….almost (oh admit it, we all need our distractions, and there’s only so many times I can walk up and down Roselle Park looking for places to buy some food, I am not waiting on those three hour gas lines…screw that!)….things are settling and we’re all cleaning up around here (we were fortunate enough to have power and more important…internet…the entire week)….so it’s time to kick back, enjoy a normal Sunday and get to some FOOTBALL!!!!
Thursday Nov. 1:
Chiefs at San Diego:
And what better examples of two natural disasters can we have then the entire Chiefs team and the human pipe bomb in Philip Rivers right? (Tell you what, hate on Rivers all you want…they’d not only embrace him in KC, but they’d line women up to have his babies after 7 weeks of Matt Cassel and worse…Brady Quinn)…you know it’s really bad in KC when Browns fans go “Oh….it’s Romeo and Quinn? We went throw that…now we laugh in your face!” As for this game…it could be another 9-7 DUD, or it could be 42-40 just as easily…Tomlinson’s calling for heads and firings in San Diego…this is about that time of year the Chargers wake up and make it interesting…the Chiefs are hoping there’s a “Suck for Luck” type guy this year….hell both of these coaching and GM staffs are gonna be fighting for spots on the unemployment line season’s end…but for now, I’ll pick the team with some hope left…..
Winner: Chargers (maybe?)
Game Quality: ** ¾ (besides half the state’s still in chaos what else ya gonna do?)
Sunday Nov. 4:
Dolphins at Colts:
Come January this is gonna end up being one of those “tiebreaker games” when we’re looking season’s end at all those absurd tie-breaking scenarios in the AFC when all hell is breaking loose in the playoff chase….both teams are playing well and both rookie QBs are standing up and leading out of the box…. A small fun fact: Andrew Luck leads the league in QB Scrambles for 1st downs….no way anyone would have guessed that, you’d have guessed Vick or RG III, you know you would…while the Colts have the better passing game and the “name” QB…the Dolphins are better on the run and I like their defense a lot better….and give coach Regis some credit, after Hard Knocks we all had this team left for dead….they might push a Wild Card….somehow…and if they are they gotta win this one….I believe they will….
Game Quality: *** (Better then you would expect)
Bills at Houston:
Mario Williams comes “home” Sunday….and Houston not only gets to show why they didn’t need him…but to make him as ineffective as he’s been against any team not named Arizona…$33 mil a sack….sounds good don’t it?? The only thing Mario’s gonna see this Sunday is number 23 running past him for as many yards as HUMANLY possible against the world’s worst run defense….Fitzpatrick will have his normal turnovers and this gonna be painfully one-sided!!
Game Quality: DUD (just get me 250 yards from Foster please!)
Ravens at Browns:
Another small fun-fact: the Browns have 36 drives in a row without a turnover….the Cowboys can’t go 36 YARDS without one…ugh…..but it’s time to give Cleveland credit…and Joss Wheedon too, he’s getting better each week (last week in the pre-hurricane effort aside)….and I do expect Wheedon and this passing offense to be able to post good numbers and some points on this still weak-sauce defense in purple….the big question here is how painfully BAD the Ravens offense is outside of Baltimore….the Browns are exactly Purple People Eaters either….I’m gonna be stressing on Sunday on which QB to start in my money league….as much as I want to say the Browns will win, the Ravens will find some kinda way to win ugly and make no one feel good about nothing in the process….
Game Quality: ** ¾
Denver at Cincinnati:
A few weeks ago this game would have been worlds more appealing….the Bengals are struggling….Andy Dalton is not getting the ball to AJ Green (defenses making this obvious realization doesn’t help either)….the defense is bad too…while the Broncos are finding their stride…balance on offense and a helluva pass rush…the Bengals just are simply not good enough to hang around in this one….Denver stomps a mudhole and leaves it to dry in the post-hurricane mud….
Game Quality: * ½ (look elsewhere for Peyton Manning ass-kissing….)
Bears at Titans:
The Titans look like an NFL football team under Matt Hasselbeck (wins in 2 of their last 3)….Chris Johnson actually looks like an NFL back again….all of this is fine and dandy….but there’s no need to break this down…the Bears are just gonna kick their asses all over the field….if you wanna make a case for Tennessee….GOOD LUCK….I don’t….
Game Quality: **
Lions at Jacksonville:
If the Lions didn’t have the talent they did, a win last week over Seattle, and a small chance of trying to be relevant in the NFC again, I’d call this anti-football…still Jacksonville is GOD-AWFUL…and I just can’t….the Lions should run away with this one pretty easily….hell….maybe get Calvin a TD or two…on principle? Please?
Game Quality: DUD (borderline anti-football goodness!)
Arizona at Green Bay:
Wow, there’s more stinkers at 1 this week then walking through the meat sections of some of these supermarkets this week (and trust me….that’s a hefty stink….)….Arizona’s gone from 4-0 to 4-4, and they’re on my way to my 6-10 dinner bet looking pretty damn awesome….this game won’t help….Clay Matthews, bring a bib….you gonna EAT this week….just close the freezer door would ya? Meat is a rarity out here right now….and maybe bring me a container of gas? I’d like to drive my car this weekend!
Game Quality: DUD (this will not be pretty…)
Carolina at Washington:
Oh boy…here we go….two mobile, black QBs drafted #1 two years in a row?? WE MUST COMPARE THEM IMMEDIATELY!!! I loved RG III’s answer to this silliness….”I’d rather be compared to Aaron Rodgers”….can’t blame him….I don’t know if I’d want to be on the same football field as Cammmm this year…it’s been bad….bad defense, invisible running game, and everything Carolina’s not doing, the Redskins are….so I’ll take this years flavor of the week over last year’s….
Game Quality: * ¾ (Carolina’s bad…mmmkkaayy?)
Vikings at Seattle:
This is a BIG game for Minnesota…exposed by an average Tampa team who smacked them around last week…and now traveling to the toughest place in the NFL to play….Christian Ponder’s been on Arizona-like downswing the last month as it is….that defense and that crowd noise…oh BOY…this is not a good combination for the Vikings….and it doesn’t get much easier for them after this (Det, Chi, GB, Chi, St L, Houston and GB again….wins will NOT be coming easy for the Vikings)…5-3 might just crash and burn to 7-9 before you finish blinking….
Winner: Seattle (Seattle’s too solid)
Game Quality: **
Tampa at Oakland:
I really want to jump up and down and all this the anti-football gem of the week! But I can’t….the football Gods are mad at me, and the Bucs are playing well as Josh Freeman has figured out the simple plan of throw high and let the two big receivers catch the sh!t thrown at them….run a lil….and success follows…..but God helps us the Raiders too have won two in a row…WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?! (yes it was only Jacksonville and KC, but the Raiders should look at no team and ever say “yeah we got this”…both of these teams don’t put up points….and it’s gonna be ugly….but it’s a cross-country trip…and the Black Hole is a tough place to play….alrighty….this will be a hot mess to watch though!
Game Quality: ** (Clusterfvck of the week?)
Steelers at NY Giants:
It’s ok…half the state is out power, can’t buy a gallon of gas….or a hot dog anywhere…but WE MUST HAVE THE FOOTBALL GAME (I’d have loved another Tuesday Night “classic” myself)…but this is really gonna be a damned good football game… Eli and Ben can have a nice dick waving contest with the Super Bowl rings…both teams find a way to win with their QBs….and this is really gonna be a battle of two very even teams with suspect D’s and do just enough to find ways to win…the Steelers are getting healthier…..this is gonna be good…and it’s a big game….no one’s better in big games then the home team here…..
Game Quality: **** (As long as we get the lights on for this one…)
Dallas at Atlanta:
The Falcons are just rolling over people… Matt Ryan is getting the ball to everyone, the tandem of Turner and Rodgers is eating up the clock… only allowing 18.6 ppg….and then there’s Dallas….they don’t beat anyone not named Carolina, losing 3 of their last 4 and finding more and more stupid and downright BAFFLING ways to do it…the only good news is it’s a night game, I can be cooped up at home with some hard liquor and not make a public fool of myself in this one….I’d love to say this is a “Dallas stands up and shocks you”….now watch they will so it fools you into thinking they got the goods….but they won’t…..
Game Quality: ** (oh you’re just watching to see Dumbo implode…. *sigh*)
Monday Nov 4.:
Eagles at Saints:
Teams have to look on their schedule of late…see Phily and say…HELL YEAH, bring it!!! This team is such a mess….firing the DC didn’t matter…they still don’t run the ball or have good QB play….someone needs to put Mike Vick on a leash (god that’s an awful pun….the minor stir-crazy is getting to me…)..neither one of these teams play a damn bit of defense, but the Saints DO know how to pounce on mistakes….and Vick vs Brees? CMON…it’s not even close to being something you compare with a sane mind at this point….who dat gonna fire dem Eagles??
Game Quality: *** (no defense, skilled offense, turnovers, bring it!)
NFL Power Rankings Week 8:
- Houston…doing nothing is still better then 75% of the AFC
- Denver…I want some of those Papa John’s free pizzas dammit!
- New England…typical Pats win on a lesser team last week
- Baltimore…a bye week means not sucking on the road at least?
- Pittsburgh…maybe? Getting better? Possibly……
- NY Giants….same old …same old…..
- Atlanta…their remaining schedule is a JOKE….
- 49ers….still better then anything in the AFC, that barely makes you top 5 in the NFC…..
- Chicago…after this week sh!t gets REAL for Chicago….
- Packers…feasting on the bad teams in the schedule and getting healthy….