Damn I only got two of these left….geesh….then what? The playoffs ain’t the same, the NHL is dead (*ugh* too many offensive analogies to pick from there) and its outdoor hockey time at least! Seeing as the world didn’t end (well NHL aside)…looks like we got a few more football Sundays to relish!!! And NO MORE sh!tTY THURSDAY NIGHT GAMES….fvck yeah!!!
Saturday Dec. 22:
Falcons at Lions:
See now a Saturday Night football games makes COMPLETE and total sense, you give the players time to heal, coaches time to prepare and people will care more on a Saturday Night then they ever will on “who cares Thursday?”…screw college football, but the NFL won’t because it gets a totally free developmental system out of them…anyway, you’re not watching this for a good game, the Lions lost to the fraking Cardinals for the love of the Gods!!! But you ARE watching for Calvin….and he’s only got 182 yards to go to break the Great 80’s record….let’s just hope Stafford throws to the RIGHT team this week…..
Winner: Falcons
Game Quality: ** (All about Calvin-Tron!)
Sunday Dec. 23:
1pm:
San Diego at NY Jets:
This is a QB purists worst nightmare…..we have the human pipebomb of turnovers in Phillip Rivers….and the other side we have Greg McElroy who threw the greatest 28 yards and a TD pass….simply…EVER (well good enough to win me a FREE Grillstone Dinner!)….anyone who thinks they can figure this game out is smoking crack after drinking one of my triple-sugar laced double the caffeine coffee’s I drink before hockey games up at Montclair….but let’s see….Ryan Matthews is out, Maclom Floyd is out, Norv and AJ Smith have all but empited their desks….but the Jets (and more so most of these players) are still playing for next year…oh it will be gloriously ugly….but yeah….
Winner: Jets
Game Quality: anti-football GOLD in the Cold!! Enjoy Rob n Jen!
Vikings at Houston:
Simply put, this is THE most important football game of the year…screw the Cowboys, screw rooting against the Giants and Jets…the Redskins too….all of that means NOTHING compared to seeing AP and Arian Foster RIP sh!t UP on Sunday…why? The same reason these players play, the same reason the NHL is dead….MONEY, the difference in over a thousand bucks (and a new mattress) and a mere $250 (and whatever), this game DAMN WELL BETTER be on in front of me and I’m gonna be cheering like a mother for those two guys like it’s the kid I never had (no NOT the one I never wanted) playing in the Super Bowl! Minnesota is average in run defense (this is good)….the Texans have only allowed 3 rushing TDs this year…but this is AP, and this is a special kinda year….and I wanna see Eric Dickerson be sad this year (though I admire his honesty in admitting he doesn’t want to see his record fall)….I predict GREAT DAYS for these backs….. oh yeah…there’s a game that matters to the rest of you….grrr, and now I gave you ample reason to watch this thing and root AGAINST me…heh….the Minnesota passing game sucks (which leads to 8-man fronts which in all irony leads to these big AP runs)…but the Texans are too good and too balanced to be stopped here….just RUN THAT DAMN BALL TILL IT HURTS!
Winner: Houston
Game Quality: ***** (like I said, the most important game since the creation of man!)
St. Louis at Tampa Bay:
Boy has the wind come out of the Tampa Bay sails or what?? While I might like to call it reality…it’s funny how the football Gods seem to smite you after you made that ludicrous suggestion about kickoffs isn’t it?? Don’t mess with the football Gods…and learn to accept a kneel down like a man would ya? The Rams are building and look like they are pushing in the right direction for next year….while I still laugh and smile and point when I think about Tampa being shut out by the SAINTS….that’s like…well…. BAD…and hysterical….and Freeman’s been just as miserable, this is not an easy game to figure out…but in all reality it could be a fun one to watch…teams that get kicked down, beaten, tossed aside, picked back up and beaten some more, and then kicked again for good measure….they tend to bounce back more better the next week, but I do think ending the year 8-7-1 matters to the Rams…there’s a neat lil fun fact: The Bucs have won all four matchups in Tampa since the Rams moved to St. Louis and have a five-game home win streak against the franchise…..that’s a trend that’s due to break….
Winner: Rams
Game Quality: ** ¾ (I will try to keep an eye on this one)
Saints at Cowboys:
Oh BOY….the Saints have been spotty all year but amazing how they played a complete and FOCUSED game the minute the Bounty-Crap was taken off the table….beating up on a sinking Bucs ship didn’t hurt either… the Saints got a good running effort and Drew Brees threw to the RIGHT team all game….now can they do it two weeks in a row? Knowing the Saints this year, I’d call it unlikely….and don’t look now…Dumbo is 3-0 in December, and got it done when Big Ben couldn’t….no wonder people thought the world was gonna end….and for Dallas to make this as painful as possible they gotta win this week and blow it against the Redskins….so yeah……
Winner: Dallas
Game Quality: **** (the D is for DRAMA in Big D)
Redskins at Phily:
Damn you RG III, in a desperate act of hope (and knowing my opponent has Tom Brady)I grabbed Kirk Kissin Cousins this week in hopes you’d be smart and save the knee for Dallas next week….hell you could pick a random Shanahan put him back there and he’d throw like a football GOD against the defeated and abandoning ship Eagles…who are talking about playing McCoy this week?? GOD WHY!???! Let the guy heal and save him for next season when it might matter….this game’s not even worth breaking down, I’ve trashed the Eagles enough…..
Winner: Redskins
Game Quality: DUD (Start the Kissing Cousins, you know you wanna!)
Colts at Chiefs:
Speaking of teams I trashed all year….hi Chiefs…I’m really done talking about the trash teams until I wrap up their awful seasons next week….the Colts can’t beat anyone better then they are, but they own the trash teams (with the one exception being the Jets loss)…anyway, that’s enough typing here…..
Winner: Colts
Game Quality: DUD
Patriots at Jaguars:
Note to Jaguars….let them score on handoffs, thanks…love me!!!
Winner: Pats
Game Quality: DUD
Bengals at Steelers:
Holy crap…a game that MATTERS?!?!?! And this is a good one….not to mention a statement game for the Bengals….0-6 vs the Ravens and Steelers Andy Dalton is, and guess who stands in the way of the playoffs for them….yeup….the Steelers and the Ravens….time to man up, and get it done….the Bengals have not allowed over 20 points in their last 7 games….Green-Ellis is running the ball and the Bengals are balanced and ready for this….the Steelers have lost 4 of 5, and it should have been 5 in a row if not for FLACCO FAIL…the offense is a mess, the running game is spotty at best, thanks to the crap offensive line that is getting Ben all battered (there’s a joke in there too…), if there was EVER a time the Bengals were gonna get it done…THIS was it…. And the more I think about it….yeah I gotta take a swing…..
Winner: Bengals
Game Quality: ***
Bills at Miami:
Wow, this is a total WHO CARES Bowl!! But at least it’s two teams of similar level…. Though at least Miami can go HA HA we have a Quarterback and not Brett Favre light! They’re rejoicing in Buffalo (and crying out in Croissant-Land) that the Bills are not going anywhere for at least ten more years and the stadium is getting an upgrade too….that’s enough good news for the Bills to handle in one week….though losing now IS a blessing since you’re gonna have to WORK to get a QB in this next draft….least the Bills won’t be giving up 50-burgers….they’re bad for your waistline….if you could merge these offenses it would be glorious….whoa…..WAIT…Miami is still ALIVE!?!?! How in the blue hell!???!? 1. They must win both of their games, vs. Buffalo and at New England….AND 2. Cincinnati must lose at Pittsburgh and vs. Baltimore….. AND 3. Pittsburgh must lose vs. Cleveland….ALSO…. 4. The New York Jets must lose one of two against San Diego or Miami….hell stranger HAS happened….
Winner: Miami
Game Quality: **
Oakland at Carolina:
Carolina is actually playing good ball right now and with two winnable games on the schedule can actually win one more game then they did last year….considering how they started and since it’s all about Cam’s development I’d call that a MAJOR win for this team…another good sign….Cam only ran the ball 4 times….he’s actually PASSING when he drops back…I’d even say making a run at 7-9 not only saves this season but shows a lil progress….and then there’s the Raiders….a thermo-nuke detonation isn’t drastic enough to start a rebuild…what the hell would you keep on this team? Maybe the young WR-corps? Yeech…screw ‘em…burn it all to high holy hell and ashes!!
Winner: Carolina
Game Quality: * ¾ (the amount of seconds I can hold the note singing CAMM)
Titans at Packers:
Thank you Tennessee for ending the Jets existence this season…now back to the crapper with you…and another tune-up game to get the Packers healthy and ready for the playoffs….all these crap games do make these write-ups into a chore I swear….
Winner: Packers
Game Quality: DUD
4pm:
Browns at Denver:
And here’s ANOTHER dogsh!t team…well not really…but they ain’t got the guns to keep up with the Bronco offense….or the defense to slow it down…it’s been a nice year in Cleveland but this will kick some happy feelings right in the balls…and right before Christmas….heh….
Winner: Denver
Game Quality: DUD (Cleveland got NO CHANCE)
Bears at Arizona:
Oh this glorious too!! The ever famous “Crown Em” game! Sadly this wonderful recollection of this EPIC FAIL moment and Denny Green rant is about as much effort and blocking you will get from the Arizona offensive line….as long as Jay Cutler doesn’t channel his inner Matthew Stafford….they’re golden here….
Winner: Bears
Game Quality: * ½
NY Giants at Ravens:
Could two teams fighting for their lives look worse and more pathetic last week?? Not really….as bad as the Giants were in getting shut out by Atlanta….at least that was on the road, and I think that guy is still running back that Flacco pick-6 that in essence ended the Broncos game last week…and this is the 3rd brutal loss in a row to boot….if this game was in NJ I’d give the Ravens NO chance….now I only give them a small chance….Torrey Smith might play…that helps…I just hope to hell both teams give us a full effort in this one…..
Winner: NY Giants
Game Quality: *** ½
8pm:
49ers at Seattle:
At least this crap-stain of an afternoon has a GEM to end the week with (and why no Monday Night game?? Let the ESPN tools work Christmas Eve)….anyway, anyone who saw the first game was treated to a nice, fun, strong, physical dogfight between two equal teams and coaches who do NOT like each other, the last game was a 13-6 boxing match and I expect no less here….though I’m not going against Seattle at home here…if you like intensity and defense you will LOVE this!!!
Winner: Seattle
Game Quality: ****
NFL Power Rankings Week 15:
AFC:
- Denver…. Kings of the Regular Season…..
- Houston…just need to avoid those pesky good passing teams
- New England…nice “almost” on the comeback….
- Indianapolis….winning 7 of 9 still looks good
- Baltimore…Flacco FAIL forces football fretting……
NFC:
- NY Giants…they could have lost 100-0 and I’d still have them #1
- Green Bay….feed…me….NFC North……
- Atlanta….one big win doesn’t erase 4 ugly efforts….
- 49ers….Kapernick keeps passing the tests I expect him to fail….
- Seattle…this is your big shot….go get it!!!
