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NFL Week 5!


CRASHER

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Wow, just a boring quiet mid-week in the NFL…. Nothing to see here…. Yeah Marshawn Lynch was released from pergatory… I mean traded from the Bills (not like Seattle is much better, they’re still laughing at them in St.Louis, and really Green bay how do you screw that up too??)…. And I hear this dude name Moss went back home and it stirred some discussion too right??? Ah so much to get to! (well unless you’re New England, Miami, Seattle or Pittsburgh, you’re off this week, duh!), and boy there’s a lot of stinkers in this game… the anti-football will be a joy to watch!!!!

Sunday Oct 10:

1pm:

Jacksonville at Bills:

REVENGE OF TRENT EDWARDS!!! God I hope he gets in this game, sh!t he owes Buffalo a win back after years of disservice right?? This will be fun (for me at least!!) this is the PURE definition of “tears of joy” anti-football!! Add in the fact that the Jags played the game of their LIVES agsint the Colts (and fvck them for a 59 yard FG ending my survivor pool run, again showing that Peyton Manning and the clutch equals fail!), but here’s a fun barometer to picking bad football teams… when a bad team wins the week before they WILL lose the next week… it’s why they’re a bad team, bad teams don’t win two weeks in a row in the NFL… BRING ON THE TRAIN WRECK!!!!

Winner: B-I-:L-L-S!!!!

Game Quality: ***** (this is tears of JOY level of anti-football!!!)

NY Giants at Houston:

An interesting game in a week that’s kinda lacking them…. The Giants got a nice win last week exposing that fatal weakness of Planet Martz….pass protection! Now the Texans are a much more balanced, hell with Arian Foster you might call them a run first team (kinda hard to with the other weapons they got)…Houston bounced back pretty handily last week (yeah it was the Raiders whatever :P)….the Giants may put up a good fight in this one, but their limitations are gonna show here…though I'm still FURIOUS at Gary Kubiak for benching Aian Foster for a quarter and costing him a 200 yard day on the Raiders I BADLY needed..... Frack You Kubiak!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winner: Texcians

Game Quality: ** ¾

Chiefs at Colts:

Another game that looks to be a lot of fun!! Hell this could be like the “first to make a stop on defense” match these teams had in the playoffs a bunch of years ago!! If you thought the Jaguars gave the Colts fits with the running game…. the Chiefs have THREE M J-D type players on their team!! And I’m almost at the point where I can’t figure out the Colts anymore (which is kinda dangerous… these years where they gotta EARN it in the regular season usually brings out the playoff best in them)…. I do find it funny that the Colts know it’s a given that each year they are gonna not have Bob Sanders for an extended time just because he’s fragile… so they draft a good player behind him and now HE’S out for the year…HA *courtesy chuckle*, but looking at some trends… the Chiefs have had almost two weeks to hear are they good or not (and yeah they’re good but not good enough to be the only unbeaten left) and the Colts are 2-0 outside the division…. I think this might be the earliest the 72 Dolphins pop the champagne cork since I can rememeber…..

Winner: Colts

Game Quality: **** (this is 4-star legit football!)

Tampa Bay at Cinci:

Are the Bucs any good?? (no) … what the HELL happened to Carson Palmer?? (I drafted him, this shocks you??)…how can you look yourself in the mirror after getting beat by the BROWNS… hell even Tampa beat them…. Can TO get any more reality shows out of such an average football team?? This is just a weird game… but then again all Bengal games seem to be now…. What do the Bengals do right now?? The QB play is barely average, Owens got all his passing yards out of the way in one game, the running game is meh and the defense couldn’t stop the fvcking BROWNS….and Tampa’s just a team that’s really too young and not there yet… I dunno… I’d flip a coin, but the d20 is closer… *rolls dice*… heh… evens…..this game means that little to me :P

Winner: Bengals

Game Quality: * (Just bore me and throw TD passes Carson!!)

Green Bay at Washington:

The Packers eeked out a win against the Lions (and I can tell you the Packer fans at the bar were shocked that Detroit was as good as they were)….and the Redskins played very well on defense, but played barely a half of offense in the McNabb Bowl (and I was wrong… McNabb did play the game like it was an actual Super Bowl… impressively average :P)….neither one of these teams can run the ball worth a spit, but the Packers do have better personnel and talent all over the place (maybe not coaching I’m convinced Mike McCarthy is a fool and should be shot)… and if this was the Redskins playing on a high last week… and you’d bet they’re gonna let down this week…. This could be ugly for them…. And either way… looks like cheese heads and pink balloons in DC this week…..

Winner: Packers

Game Quality: ** ½

Rams at Lions:

Welcome to the NFL in 2010, you have a 2-2 division winner on the road against a 4-0 and they’re a 7 point ‘dog!!! WTF !?!?!? The sick part is they SHOULD be a 7 point ‘dog!!! The Lions have the worst luck alive…. This side of me….. and well I guess St Louis ain’t the place to go to fix my luck either….heh….but still the Lions ARE DUE MAN, and this week’s as good a weak as any!! (damn shame we won’t see Stafford vs Bradford in the “these guys names are too damn alike” Bowl!).....this could be a fun game in the honor and spirit of anti-football!!!!

Winner: Lions

Game Quality: *** 3/4 (Lots of offense and young talent!)

Bears at Panthers:

Jimmy Claussen vs Todd Collins?? OH BOY!!! First to five completions wins!!! But really, I’m backing Todd Collins?? sh!t PHIL Collins will have time to find an open receiver this week… with all four of the sacks the Panther D has all year, I expect Peppers to have that many ALONE in his lil homecoming game…no Steve Smith either, and is there a worse team personnel-wise then the Panthers?? This game is gonna SUCK, but by god it’s gonna be funny as hell to watch!!

Winner: Bears

Game Quality: ***½ (this could stink in a BAD way…)

Atlanta at Cleveland:

The Browns won last week so they’re set till about Thanksgiving …. And they’re actually talking about putting in that sweet turnover factory in Jake Delhomme (which is just DUMB, Seneca Wallace has been decent for them, but if it’s a dumb move it makes sense to Mangini right??)…. While the Falcons are just riding high…. I’d call this a letdown game for the Falcons, but I like Atlanta’s let-down game better then the Browns A++++ game anyway…. So……

Winner: Falcons

Game Quality: DUD (start ALL Falcons this week!)

Denver at Baltimore:

This is one of the few actual GOOD match-ups that fascinate me this week…. The Broncos are all pass as the Age of Orton has TRULY arrived in Denver, but the Ravens are playing defense (especially against the pass) as well as anyone….and I really think the Ravens turned a corner last week… not because they beat the Steelers, but HOW they did….down the field, no time outs (yeah it was a short field but still that Steeler D is absurd!)…I do think the Ravens find a way to win this game and I am curious to see how good this Denver team throws the ball on the Ravens….

Winner: Ravens

Game Quality: *** (strength vs strength in a death match!!)

4pm:

Saints at Cardinals:

This one could be anti-football worthy I swear… the Cardinals start a raw unproven “how the hell did I end up starting in the NFL, ALREADY” kinda rookie (somewhere Matt Leinart should chuckle a little until he realizes he’s still Matt Leinart :P) and the Saints are all kinds of beat-up…no Bush, no Sharper, no Porter, I don’t think that Thomas is playing…. Then again, I think Rutgers….ok that’s pushing it… Tulanne….could take it to the Cardinals right now, is there a more patheric and flawed 2-2 team….outside of the NFC West :P

Winner: Saints

Game Quality: *** (could be amusing!)

Titans at Cowboys:

This is another one of those games I have NO feel for this week….the one thing I keep looking to… the Titans under Jeff Fisher are REALLY good at getting their opponents to take dumb penalties…. The Cowboys need no help with this either, they do it well on their own…Chris Johnson’s been kinda erratic this year and the Titan passing game doesn’t scare anyone, but still I have a hard time accepting that this Cowboys team can get anything right….they are healthy and rested off the bye…which means I have EVERY reason to think the Cowboys will win…..so that makes the choice OBVIOUS…

Winner: Titans

Game Quality: ***

Chargers at Oakland::

Both teams have been disappointing in the first four gmaes…. Chargers are 2-0 at home…. 0-2 on the road….the Raiders are good enough to lose anywhere, they DO make them interesting at least….I should keep the trend going of San Diego sucks at home, but having faith in the Raiders is like me trusting St.Louis women… I done it ENOUGH times to know better now…so um… yeah, you’re gonna be watching the Cowboys anyway so screw it!

Winner: Chargers

Game Quality: *

8pm:

Eagles at 49ers:

This is gonna be a weird Sunday Night game… both these teams are under a LOT of pressure here…. Can Kevin Kolb hide all the holes in the Eagles offense like Vick’s legs were doing?? Can Dr. McCoy find some magic cure for his achy ribs? Can the 49ers win a fracking game? (Least Mike Singletary didn’t fire a coach this week!) Come to think of it… these teams are a lot alike (well the 49ers didn’t get the Jaguars and Lions on the schedule…)….I really don’t have a feel on this game, the Eagles are a lot of smoke and mirrors (which always gets that Cody Rhodes theme song in my head… oh so… DASHING!)….and the Niners are due a break this year…..

Winner: 49ers

Game Quality: ***

Monday Oct 11:

Vikings at NY Jets:

As if ESPN and Brett Favre isn’t an automatic jack-off session (well for them at least), now you add in all the Randy Moss drama and trade to the team (I love how Randy Moss showed he was a true TEAM player and played like he was already on the bye for the team he was going to last week right??), hell this might be the only week all year that all the talk and drama isn’t about the big-mouth Jets (though I do have to admit I did chuckle at T-Rex making the comment that if the Vikings trade Moss back to the Pats after the Jet game was kinda funny)….but back to the actual game…. does Moss make the Vikings better?? Yeah, but will Moss be more productive or is he still this Cris Carter 2.0 “all he does is catch TD passes” guy?? I’m not fully sure…and I dunno if giving Favre a guy to recklessly throw the ball to is that bright an idea here…and none of this matters if the defense don’t play better…..I just need the Vikings to show me something before I can take them with confidence again…..

Winner: Jets (ah be honest there are no winners here, except ESPN….)

Game Quality: ** ½

Week 3 NFL Power Rankings:

AFC:

  • Steelers…. 3-1 with an army of backup QBs, yeah they’re still good….
  • Chiefs… Can’t drop them off a bye week, and they still ain’t better then the Steelers
  • Ravens…. Flacco’s last minute drive COULD be season-defining
  • NY Jets…..*BURP*
  • Houston…. Despite Kubiak screwing my fantasy team, they’re still good!
NFC:
  • Atlanta… playing good but almost a “default” team, you name me ANYONE who looks like a world-beater in the NFC
  • Bears… Live by the Martz…die by the Martz…..
  • Saints… winning ugly, but still winning with half a team….
  • Green Bay…really??? No Marshawn?? YOU SUCK!!
  • St.Louis…kinda fun to watch, and shows I can take a joke …..

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Live by the Martz…die by the Martz…..

Well done,. sir.

RE: Ravens....Flacco in the clutch...may have upped his career a notch. Pitts D typically owns him when it counts. Great to see Joey up his game.

I think we are going to crush Orton because they have NO RUNNING game to speak of.

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I don't think I've ever seen the NFL this mediocre top to bottom. I mean last year you had possibly 3 GREAT teams in New Orleans, Minnesota, and Indianapolis. This year, you're either bad (buffalo, san fran etc) or in that big mush of average-slightly above average pool.

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Great clock management, Jets. Now Favre and Co., who have carved up the Jets' defense the past quarter and a half, get the ball with just under 2 minutes left down only 3. Ugh.

Well, time to put up or shut up on defense.

Edited by nmigliore
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Crazy weird game, started late with a monsoon, then stopped, then another round of torrential rain, then stopped. The Jets offense was knocking at the door all night but couldn't punch it in. 12-0 lead that should've been 24-0, but kudos to Folk for making all his kicks tonight.

Favre threw up a lot of prayers tonight, but most times he came up lucky as they were hauled in. It annoyed me how many times they were able to convert on 3rd and forever. And Rex really has to dial down the blitzes, for a period there they were all getting picked up and we couldn't get near Favre.

Don't know if it was the wet ball but Sanchez was throwing high all day, missing wide open receivers. Time management was really horrific as well. On our last offensive possession you have to just flat out run it and kill as much of the clock as you can...who's to say you don't get the 1st down on the ground anyway?

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lol this is nothing new, but this Monday Night announce crew blows. Mike Tirico sounds so lazy and they are all acting as if its 35-0 Jets.

I guess its been a long night with the rain/lightning delay.

I like Jaworski, but he gets no time while dufus Gruden is pitching for coaching jobs.

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Time management was really horrific as well. On our last offensive possession you have to just flat out run it and kill as much of the clock as you can...who's to say you don't get the 1st down on the ground anyway?

It wasn't even a matter of that on the second down play, the clock would have been at 2:04 if they ran it down all the way so with the two minute warning coming up that actually provided an excuse to try a pass which could have been incomplete at or after the two minute warning...problem was they didn't run it down all the way so the incomplete pass came right before the two minute warning. Either Rex has to let Sanchez know to run it down to one second before snapping the ball or Sanchez has got to be more aware of the situation on his own.

The real question was...which dark side was CRASHER rooting for? The team he hates or the diva QB he really hates?

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The real question was...which dark side was CRASHER rooting for? The team he hates or the diva QB he really hates?

Let me put it this way.... the power went out in roselle park after my hockey game and I was happy for it.... I got my 14 points from Moss and was upset no one was killed by the lightning and hail :P

And don't kid yourself, the jets aren't the ONLY team I hate......

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