The one thing that ALWAYS rings true in the NFL is that we learn a TON about the league and how things are going to go in the NFL after one week of play (more so this year since we only had one month of warm-ups to it)....and we did....and boy we got some gimmicks and some new members to the beloved anti-football club (hi Indy, I'm looking at you here....I'd say Dallas too but they don't deserve the HONOR of )....And for the first time in forever, the offenses came out of the pre-season WAY ahead of the defenses (well unless you're in Minnesota), and it seems like you wasn't no one unless you threw for 350 last week and you needed to break 400 to be cool....or have your team run a bunch of kicks back for TDs (so much for the kickoff rule screwing the returns eh?) anyway, time to have some fun getting ready to go for the 2nd Football Sunday of the year!Sunday Sept 18:
Oakland at Buffalo:
*sigh*....it's games like this that make me wish the NFL was Pro Wrestling....why you ask?? This game would totally have a gimmick stipulation to it....something like in honor of the anti-football HALL OF FAME QB Trent Edwards on a pole match...or worse....whoever loses this game, they gotta re-sign him....damn that would be rough!!!
Anyway, both teams won last week....both teams also beat AFC West teams that no one should really be proud of....the Chiefs were overrated frauds coming into this season and already are piling up injuries and are gonna be brutal this year....and when your fanbase is clamoring and begging for Tim Teebow (more on this in the Bronco preview)....you deserve the 2-14 garbage around you (poor Kyle Orton, it's all blown up around him hasn't it?).... anyway, I was more impressed with the Bills and the balanced offense they have, tough run defense (if you can shut down Charles, you can shut down D-Mac).....and Fitzpatrick vs Jason Campbell....REALLY??? Do you expect any less??? LET'S.... GO..... BUFFALO!!!!! (the football man-crush continues!!)
Game Quality: *** (the Bills will be fun to watch!)
Packers at Panthers:
Alright football media it's time to get off your knees and stop sucking off Cam Newton (amazing how these same people in the media, who by the way all seem to be BLACK...just saying, are all goofy over Newton, said NOTHING about McNabb's pathetic effort on Sunday, and when Newton sucks this week he'll be "just a rookie" or McNabb will "be back" when he looks like a sorta-average NFL QB.... all I ask is God FORBID a black member of the NFL Media ONCE just say a black QB sucks when HE DOES....it's not me being racist...if I was I'd use a HARSHER word to describe the fella...it just pisses me off)....anyway..... sCam Newton had a stupid game last week....and if you ask me...it's more a sign of how BAD the Arizona defense is....and we'll find this out this week....the Packers are unstoppable on offense and once they shut down Steve Smith, this will be over FAST!!!
Game Quality: * (this is a jobbers match of WWF Superstars fame...)
Chiefs at Lions:
It's gonna be a LONG year in Kansas City ain't it??? Buzzsaw'ed first by the Bills....and now they're gonna get pounded by the Lions in their home opener....injuries piling up....and still relying on Matt Cassel (yeeccchh) as their QB....the Chiefs can still run the ball...but good luck on that front four of Detroit's....some games make themselves wide open for witty comments and joyous moments....this ain't one of them.... if only Chiefs Guy would show up at the damn bar for a little conflict ....
Game Quality: * 1/2 (the Chiefs are falling from the sky at Owen Hart-speeds)
Browns at Colts:
ANTI-FOOTBALL IN INDIANAPOLIS!!!! Been a long time comin too!! Calling the Colts brutal last week is an understatement....but still....Kerry Collins has had what two weeks to learn the most complex offense in football??
(and to be fair I think the only guy who REALLY knows that offense is Peyton Manning), but if only you could put
Colt McCoy on the Colts team....would be quite awesome....or maybe a guy who could catch the ball on the Browns?? Oh to dream....this game might be a bit too funny and entertaining to turn a blind eye too, I do expect the Colts to be better, and I still don't like this Browns offense enough to pick them for ANYTHING, this has FUN TIMES in that Keystone Kops Football Follies sorta way doesn't it??
Game Quality: *** (anti-football NATION welcomes the Colts to our home
Tampa Bay at Minnesota:
39 yards passing??? I can WALK that far in my freaking apartment!!! But yet that was all the offense Donovan McFAIL could throw for last week....and that's with AP in the backfield to make you keep 7-8 guys in the box....oh yeah he's still a "quality QB"...but hey he's a black QB so he gets a free pass ....hell take away that Percy Harvin kick return and I don't think the entire Viking offense would fit in this apartment....heh....yeah Tampa lost too, but they at least know how the forward pass works in the NFL and should actually get a couple hundred yards passing this week ....Tampa should win this handily....and I don't know why, but I do get a chuckle out of seeing McNabb fail on an epic level!!!
Game Quality: ** (Maybe McNabb can throw for 3 figures this week?)
Bears at Saints:
This was going to be an interesting game, and I think it's the first time this group of Saints get the Bears in their building for once....and if you add in the Brian Urlacher story (he lost his mom during the week)....and we get to see if he can pull a Brett Favre (as much as I hate the guy, NO ONE re-focused and went nuts like Favre did after a family tragedy)....and will the Bears rally behind that?? Oh wait, time for a reality fix too....even to the soft Falcons D, Jay Cutler got dropped FIVE times....somethings will never change....and the Saint D isn't awesome but they do make opportunity and cash in on it....sacks and turnovers indeed, add in home field and the Saints have the better team and you can take your emotional lift and nice story with Urlacher and stuff em
Game Quality: *** 1/2
Jaguars at Jets:
We watch the Jags-Titans game....ALL OF IT....my God that was the worst display of offensive football ever seen by human eyes without it being eight year olds who were too small for their pads....Jesus that was gross...I think Jones-Drew out gained not only his team but the whole Titan team too....that's not gonna happen this week, the Jags are gonna have to throw the ball (and Dallas did show as long as your QB has a brain on his head, you can throw on the Jets)....sitting here making a case for this putrid team (no the Jaguars...calm down Jet fans) it's just not worth my time....and neither is watching this game
Game Quality: DUD (Jacksonville is AWFUL)
Seattle at Steelers:
OK Pittsburgh so you got your face bashed in by the Ravens, you turned the ball over 7 times...what do you do....oh what do you do?? You look at your next opponent and see Seattle....you smile....you exhale....you go out there and abuse the piss out of this awful team and count the turnovers that Tavares Jackson will give you, you re-establish dominance and feel better with this blood letting.....you get me lots of fantasy points with Mendenhall and life is much more better! As for Seattle....sorry bout yo damn luck!!!
Game Quality: DUD (This is the "feel better week in Pittsburgh)
Ravens at Titans:
I was watching NFL Playbook yesterday (see...research people!!!), and they asked Brian Billick (who still looks like Herman Munster to me)....about Chris Johnson and will he get a hundred yards in this game and he gave a GEM back "Hell Johnson couldn't get a hundred yards in two games....COMBINED on the Ravens)....I'm apt to agree with him....yeah the Ravens might be a bit of a letdown this week after pounding the Steelers, but gah, as bad as I think Seattle and Jacksonville are....these guys could be WORSE, there's no way on God's Green Earth the Titans win this puppy.....if I hadn't picked the Lions, this would REEK of survivor pick.....
Game Quality: DUD (man the stinkers are FLOWING)
Arizona at Redskins:
The Cardinal "defense" gave up 400 yards to sCam Newton...imagine a REAL QB...oh wait...it's still Rex Grossman....though a beat up Giants defense is just as horrid as Arizona at full-strength....still 400 yards for sCam Newton....*shakes his head*....I do have to say the Redskins were pretty impressive last week....especially on defense, they frustrated the hell out of the Giants....and with them and the Cowboys looking on the down, the Redskins, Lord help us all, could make some noise in the NFC....yes....really, and this will be a nice little test for Kevin Kolb and can he move the ball (and find Fitzgerald for Christ's sake!) on the Redskins D...he won't Donovan McNabb this, but he won't light them up either....and I can't believe I'm picking this team for 2-0...oh wait, one of these teams GOTTA be....
Game Quality: ** (this could be funny!)
Dallas at 49ers:
There are rules, and there are things you can put up with as a fan of a team...losing seasons, failed ends to a season, bad signings....all of this comes with the territory (more so when you root in a hostile environment)...but there is ONE crime that a team can commit that there is almost no excuse for...no accounting for...no apologies or "aw shucks we'll get them next week" crap can fix....it's a brutal crime and its like I said....inexcusable...no matter how good or bad your team is....there MUST be HOPE for you the fan regardless of whatever team it is you are a fan of....when that team MAKES YOU GIVE UP HOPE....it's over.....and that 4th quarter last week did it...and I'll leave it like that.....now time for stirring analysis....yay!! (and this goes more then Dumbo's idiot brain farts....Cowboy play call idiocy....and once again the "elite pass rusher in the NFL was INVISIBLE in the second half...I don't want to hear adjustments and schemes and injured corners....you wanna be a star player there 94...CAUSE SOME HAVOC IN THE 4TH QUARTER WHEN IT COUNTS.....GET THROUGH...MAKE A PLAY AND TURN THE DAMN TIDE.....Dumbo deserves all the sh!t he gets for this game, but it gets WAY too many players in Silver and White off the hook and this guy's one of them)
And to think I had a sick inside thought of GOING to this game....Jesus, good thing I'd have had other reasons to be there....this is a heaping pile of dogsh!t...the 49ers maybe 1-0 that's only because Seattle is worse....Alex Smith?? Alex Smith?? *cringe*....least unlike #9, he may stink but he plays with guts and knows how to SLIDE and throw the ball out of bounds.... *sigh*....anyway....for the Cowboy fan with hope, this is your "feel better" game since the 49ers are brutal....though only imagine the Niners winning this game....ah for the old days when this was the unofficial NFC Title game right??
Game Quality: * 3/4 (I refuse to honor the Cowboys with an anti-football ranking)
Bengals at Broncos:
Oh anti-football.....one team that wants to wipe the mention of their QB (Carson Palmer) off the map Chris Benoit-style....and another team that can't get their idiot fans to shut up about Tim Teebow...and really, besides being idiots and overpaying for this guy in the draft what has he done in the NFL to justify a John Cena wins level riot on poor Kyle Orton (if it was Randy Orton I'd see it...I'm sick of him too...GO MARK HENRY...anyway), this whole Denver team kinda feels like a round peg and square hole as John Fox starts to take over, and with Dalton injured, the Bengals have a very GOOD, but underrated QB in Gradkowski (go back and look at his Raider numbers last year, he was a big reason for that 8-8)....but all this aside this game will be decidedly AWFUL and worth listening to just for the fan riot as the Broncos lose two in a row at home
Game Quality: **
Houston at Miami:
Boy the Texicans must be loving life right? No Manning to deal with....the rest of the division sucks and they just humiliated the Colts back to Divsion 3 football....life is good....right??? Don't be fooled, this is still that same, soft, gutless team they've been since Gary Kubiak took them over and this game not only reeks of CLASSIC letdown, but with the rest of the AFC East looking (and probably) going for 2-0, this is damn near a MUST game for Miami, and this is a big show n tell game for Chad Henne, it looks like the offense is finally designed for him and not that damn wildcat anymore, he can spread the ball, he made plays...only turned the ball over once (which at this point is a Dumbo Wet Dream....well aside the ones of Super Models ).....and Reggie Bush seems to be a good addition to this offense...he's a safety valve, can run some draws and keep the D guessing....this offense will challenge the Houston defense too....and I really gotta give the edge to Miami here....desperation vs letdown, home field and the "same old Texans" commentary.....I also think Miami might be better then people think....
Game Quality: ***
Chargers at Patriots:
Some people say the numbers don't lie (some people base their entire hockey lives on such silly things)....but here's a case where the numbers DO lie....Tom Brady's QB rating is LOWEST against San Diego over his career AND no QB has a higher rating on Belichek's defenses then Phillip Rivers does....but what's the W-L numbers....Rivers is 2-5 vs the Patriots....go figure?? Stick that in your Fenwick and Corsi ratings ....this should be one of those fun 42-35 type games too (hell if Chad Henne can go for 400, right?), and every team looks like a special teams GOD on the Chargers....add in a cross-country trip (no California Croissants for this one!), and this will be a fun game and a man-gasm for said fantasy football owners!
Game Quality: *****
Eagles at Falcons:
And team puppy power goes back to it's old kennel!! This is a big game for both....the Vick homecoming and don't forget the Falcons lost two games ALL SEASON last year....and could be staring down 0-2 here (least for the Falcons' sake no one in the NFC South has come out of the gated flying), it's gonna be interesting to see how blindly loyal the Atlanta fans (ha I know what a contradiction THAT is) are to Vick...after hearing all of Denver chant blindly for a QB who can't complete a five yard pass, why not let the Falcon "fan" do the same? Right?? All drama and storylines aside (oh wait....I post this on NJ Devs....MUST HAVE MOAR DRAMASSSSS OMMMGGGG!!!), I don't like the match-ups for Atlanta, with the exception of th fact the Falcons should be able to run on the Eagles....I think this is gonna be a shooting match....and we all know Mister Vick knows a thing or two about leading the dogs in for the kill right??
Game Quality: *** (big plays will be on the menu!)
Monday Sept. 19:
Rams at NY Giants:
And the two most injured teams in the NFL go at it on Monday Night, kinda funny to see St Louis screw St Louis for once, down a receiver, Steven Jackson probably not playing (OMG HURRY AND BE AN UNFAIR FANTASY FOOTBALL OWNER AND VULTURE HIM ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON WHEN JACKSON COMES UP LIMPING!!!!), at least for the Rams, the training staff dug up Michael Jackson's magic glove and he's using that to help that big finger get more better so he can play Monday (and he's used to having a crappy WR core, he did last year after all), the Giants are getting a bit healthier on D, and they'd better....hell they made Rex Grossman look like....ummm, well.....Cam Newton?? HA!! It's always tough to gauge a game with so many injuries, but the Giants seem healthier and at home, and only in the NFC West can you be 0-2 and still a contender (hell 0-5 doesn't take you out of the NFC Worst picture)...not exactly a "marquis, Prime Time game" on Monday Night......
Game Quality: ** (if the injured list was playing this would be awesome)
NFL Power Rankings:
1. New England....ranked #1 last week, though I worry about the D, 517 yards of passing hides a LOT of holes
2. Baltimore....still giving Manta-gasms from last week
3. San Diego.... offense showed up, defense was EPIC....special teams more like special Ed
4. NY Jets....I'd be worried about that pass D though....
5. Houston....I hate putting them here, and I'm still not convinced....
1. Green Bay....offense is AWESOME defense did what it had to and got forgotten because the game was on Thursday....
2. Eagles....big plays all over, but can they run the 10 play 80 yard drive when it matters?
3. Detroit...big win and young talent is on the rise.....
4. Washington...yes really....the defense looked GOOD, air Rex??
5. New Orleans....they're good, just not Green Bay good.....
Edited by CRASHER, 17 September 2011 - 10:03 AM.