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NFL Week 9!


CRASHER

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Six teams on bye AGAIN?? Jesus, that’s annoying from the fantasy football owner perspective…. But that don’t matter here…gotta keep this preview moving as fast and as often as Randy Moss changes teams this year, and unleash the fury of Week 9 in our beloved NFL!! (sadly the 49ers are off I have a gem comment on them….and the Broncos, oh to rip on them…. And my beloved Redskins, who are getting desperate in finding a QB more out of shape then Donovan McNabb….and yeah the Titans, Rams and Jaguars also)

Sunday Oct 31:

1pm:

Jets at Lions:

The Jets haven’t been this mad since the lil Asian guy said “YOU BEEN HERE FOUR HOUR, YOU GO NOW” to Rex at the all you can eat buffet…. And the Lions come in off their annual beating of the Redskins (they’ve won four games in 3 years, three of those wins are against our nation’s capital’s finest, go figure!)….the Lions are pesky, their front four is good (gotta love FAT GUY WITH BALL in the end zone too!), but I don’t think the Lions match up…. All year I’ve been trying to find a stat or something that shows how good a team’s D really is (yards allowed is a JOKE, I do like points allowed, rushing is weird cause when you’re behind you give up on the run….one of the ones I found that made me go WOW, the opponent’s comp %.... when you play the Jets you complete about 49% of your passes (NE is worst at near 70% FYI), that;s kinda scary good and in a league that caters to the QB, that’s a GOOD stat…..)….take that 49% completion and throw in Stafford who’s probably seen nothing like this Jets D, and a limited running game to help him…. And I think that’s all the Jets really need to sit and roll here…. They did get humbled by the Packers last week (and the desperation fake punt kinda showed there’s still SOME issues at the coaching position too)… but not this week……

Winner: Jets

Game Quality: * ½ (the Lions blew their load last week sorry)

Miami at Baltimore:

I'm still wondering what sweet nothings Ray Lewis is putting in Manta's ear this week... maybe something like "we will crush the wildcat... and Rex Ryan is still your hero"....whatever it is, this is a much tougher matchup for Miami then the pathetic overrated Bengals....Miami is good on the road though (go figure 4-0 on the road and 0-3 at home)..but the Ravens haven't lost at home.... it's a battle of Old Spice Swagger and product placements for everyone!! And I gotta admit, the Ray Ray Old Spice commercials devour Dan Marino's old Isotoner Glove spots ANY DAY... and the football team is better too... least Miami will win at home when they play Buffalo right?? This game should be a good watch because Miami never blows anyone away and they almost never get blown out....least the wildcat is dead because the Raven D did always hand it back to them......

Winner: Ravens

Game Quality: *** (Intensity to BURN here folks!)

Patriots at Browns:

The Patriots have not lost since dumping Randy Moss for a draft pick (God that looks genius now doesn’t it?? Hell if only more people knew how to pull out at the right time we’d have a more fewer stupid people eh??) Anyway…it’s still Colt McCoy, and Belicheck still hates Mangini (who doesn’t ??)….this won’t be pretty either….PREPARE THE GARVIN STOMP!!!!

Winner: Patriots

Game Quality: DUD (Cleveland bores me…sorry)

Chargers at Houston:

Are there two more disappointing and “come up soft when you expect big things from them” teams in football now?? (OK, Dallas and the Vikings, frack you….in the AFC??) then these two?? Every year the Chargers have all the talent in the world, but they dicked with the LT, Vincent Jackson is still on suspension and now Steroid Shawne is pumping his guns (and getting his ass kicked by his woman) up in Buffalo now….the WRs they DO have are all hurt (and nothing good comes from relying on Patrick Crayton, EVER), but yet on the other side… every time you think the Texans have turned the corner (they beat the colts in week one, come back on the Skins and then lie down for Dallas and then get beaten in by half a Colts team last week…. I say it again, the problem is Kubiak!)… and now it is November…. This is usually when the Chargers flip the ON switch, but still I think the Texicans will tease/fool us all again and come out strong in this one…..

Winner: Texicans

Game Quality: *** ¼

Bears vs Bills via Toronto:

THE TORONTO MAPLE BILLS RIDE AGAIN!!!! And if there’s even been a team that needed to get shipped OUT of the country it’s the…no NOT THEM…. DA BEARS!! They got off to a great start and then the world figured out… hey blitz this guy and ugly things happen to him….. and with that in mind…. Enter Shawne Merriman, being he’s had like two days in Buffalo, all they’re gonna do is line him up and say BLITZ… this is a good combination for the Bills…. And with a decent running game… and good QB play… holy crap I’m starting to believe what I am typing… I BILL-ELIVE IN RORY FITZ!!!!!! (plus this helps my quest to get the Cowboys the #1 pick right??)…Bill-eive in miracles folks… Hell Bret Hart got screwed in Canada… why not the Bears??? Sadly I think this is as good as the anti-football gets this week kids……

Winner: BILLS!!!!

Game Quality: *** (Jay Culter has Fitzpatrick-envy!)

Cardinals at Vikings:

….on the other hand… I present to you, DEREK ANDERSON and BRETT FAVRE…. Man the turnovers are gonna fly in this one like nasty comments from Randy Moss about the Vikings…. Speaking as such… Brad Childress you slimy, douchey worm and scum of a human being, the way you lucked into Favre last year and that luck got you a three year extension (which just means your ass gets a paycheck when they fire you)…you come out and start talking about how the trade was bad… and then you cut the guy without talking to ownership?? Really smart… then again, just look at yourself in the mirror…look again … (I am on a horse… oh wait, not the Old Spice commercial), and then when you look at your awful face in the mirror, ask this question “Shouldn’t I be selling insurance or used cars to old ladies…do I look or act like a man who should be leading men to war on a football field??” and the answer is clearly not….now while I may dream he climbs to the top of the Homer-Dome and Owen Hart’s himself…I’ll just take this awful season as my enjoyment (funny how karma has come to bite Favre in the ass ever since that playoff game when he ran the score up on the Cowboys ain’t it??)…oh yeah,..Favre… speaking of him…. I’m sorry… you got carried off the field injured SO BAD the trainer was keeping YOUR JAW IN PLACE…how in the hell are you NOT concussed this week, or is the concussion rule, much like the sex act rule… they just don’t apply to Favre do they??? Then again, you’d be an upgrade to Derek Anderson or Max Moon as Cardinals’ QB…. And teams do have a habit of winning when Randy Moss gets “future endeavored”….this game should be painfully entertaining!

Winner: Vikings

Game Quality: *** (this will be so ugly it will be fun!)

Bucs at Falcons:

You’d have made a LOT of money from people calling this the marquis 1pm game back in August…. Really……this is a much bigger game for Tampa though…. They have a habit of getting blown out by better teams (they’re 0-2 against “good” teams in the NFL and the margin of victory was ugly), and they’ve kept some of the lesser teams a little closer then they should…but they’re a young team I guess that’s gonna happen, and Atlanta is healthy and ready to stomp out this little threat…so yeah I said a lot up above so I’ll leave this one to the Great Matt Ryan and move on (it’s an inside joke I am NOT man-crushing on him… I paid my “Ryan” penance already thanks!)

Winner: Falcons

Game Quality: ** ¾ (the Bucs will put up a fight, I hope)

Saints at Panthers:

The Saints certainly looked back last week didn't they??? An impressive win at home over the best team in the NFL... nothing like that to remind you... THE CHAMP...IS....HERE!!! And now John Cena gets the Brooklyn Brawler.... Clothesline/Shoulder Block/5-knuckle shuffle/F-U/ STF.... match over!

Winner: Saints

Game Quality: DUD

4pm:

NY Giants at Seattle:

Well now that I got all that pro-Giant (and Ranger) crap out of me in the baseball season….I can get back to business right?? The Giants have killed more people already this season then Chris Benoit did (well QB’s at least)… and it’s to the point that the next guy is already saying he’s out of the game with a concussion…it’s a shame, I thought at full strength and at HOME Seattle coulda given them a run for their money… but not with Charlie Whitehurst throwing the ball…this is like asking a virgin girl to give it up for the first time at a whorehouse… it ain’t gonna be pretty and no one’s gonna like the result…..)

Winner: Giants

Game Quality: **

Colts at Phily:

The Colts are still awfully beat up… hell so are the Eagles… but Deshawn Jackson comes back this week (amazing how it HAPPENS to be the week Vick comes back right??), hell if the flex schedule was in effect this week, this would be the flex game no doubt, the Eagles are rested and off a bye and as healthy as they are gonna get now… and yeah the Colts beat up on the Texans, but the Eagles are NOT soft if anything else… and it will be fun to see what the lovely upstanding Phily phan comes up with for Manning ….and all these Colts injuries gotta get to them sometime right……

Winner: Eagles

Game Quality: *** ¾

Chiefs at Raiders:

Wow, I can’t remember a time when all three 4pm games were THIS GOOD…damn (my anti-football loving heart sheds a tear a little though), the Chiefs are shaping themselves into a “legit” team this year, winning ugly last week against a scrappy Bills team… and the Raiders and “winning streak”…..words you ain’t used to combining… both teams run the ball and get enough from the passing games….both teams have crappy QB play and defenses that make plays… but it’s hard to pick against Charles and Thomas Jones, they rack up the rush yards like no one else…. This should be a good game and it’s DAMN GOOD to see this AFL rivalry mean SOMETHING again too!! Watch this game, I command it!!!!!!!

Winner: Chiefs

Game Quality: ***

8pm:

Cowboys at Packers:

The Packers have ripped off two impressive wins in a row, the defense is coming back and the offense is doing enough to win, and this team is starting to mature into that next level team…. The Cowboys are half way to the top pick in the draft and Jerry Jones backing his money truck, pride and ego up to a big-name coach to scrap this mess (I did find it funny that Phillips called Jones a “good GM” this week…. It’s WAY too late fo ass-kissing to save that job… even your “vaunted” DC skills are gone… this D lied down like a blonde in Bayonne after a case of Coors Light last week, and it’s all over in Dallas aside from a body count…..all I can hope for is the losses mounting and I’d like to see Rodgers win a Super Bowl as Favre limps away like a beaten bitch into the sunset…..

Winner: Packers

Game Quality: * ½ (NBC gets lucky that baseball is over here this game SUCKS)

Monday Oct 26:

Steelers at Bengals:

Carson Palmer was Carson Palmer again last week and blowing the game for the Bengals… doesn’t help that Cedric Benson looks like he was playing for the Bears again too…. And the Steelers gotta be a bit ticked off with how last week’s game ended (and gee ANOTHER fine for Harrison… wonder how many of those pics are on the NFL website for sale… hrrrmmmmm), the only reason I will care about this game is I’m starting Ben and I expect to feast on Palmer INTs with the Steelers D, otherwise this will be a bloody mess…hell this level of “leaky lady leftovers” (since the term was approved by multiple females) will need the leftover in Mike’s plumbing from his nasty upstairs neighbors to clean the blood-letting off the floor!!!

Winner: Steelers

Game Quality: ** ½ (Bonus points cause I love to see Carson Palmer suffer)

Week 9 NFL Power Rankings:

AFC:

  • Steelers…. Yeah they lost, so did the Jets :P
  • NY Jets….Holding on to #2 better then their WRs hold on to Interceptions!
  • Chiefs… winning in spite of QB play (250 yards rushing a game helps too)
  • Titans….if I drop them in the rankings Randy Moss will get mad at me…..
  • Patriots.....only smoke n mirrors (ok I did that to sing Cody Rhodes' song), but still they're winning them games

NFC:

  • NY Giants… quietly and simply going out and winning every week….
  • Atlanta…a week off means you can't screw up and drop in the standings
  • Saints.... impressive win against the best in the league gets them on the map again!
  • Packers…..served up some humble pie in the swamps of Jersey last week!
  • Seattle... cause they're still in first place somehow?? :P

Edited by CRASHER
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Crash, I clearly understand if you don't want to put the Pats at #1, but they do own the NFL's best record, and did beat one of those top-5 teams...what exactly do they have to do to crack your Top 5? An argument can be made for the Colts being in there as well...

I'm guessing you're waiting to see how the Pats fare against Pitt, Indy, and the Jets in the coming weeks? I can see that...I'm kind of doing the same thing.

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Crash, I clearly understand if you don't want to put the Pats at #1, but they do own the NFL's best record, and did beat one of those top-5 teams...what exactly do they have to do to crack your Top 5? An argument can be made for the Colts being in there as well...

I'm guessing you're waiting to see how the Pats fare against Pitt, Indy, and the Jets in the coming weeks? I can see that...I'm kind of doing the same thing.

It's like I said last week... they seem to be getting these teams at the VERY right time (in hindsight I should have put them over the Ravens, probably)...the thing is with the AFC I can go 7-8 teams deep and I have to work my ass off to find a reason to put 5 up there :unsure:

(and I was hurrying myself yesterday since I have to get these out on THURSDAYS from now on for the fracking NFL Network games :P)

in fact.... there's an edit button... lemme go change that

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It's like I said last week... they seem to be getting these teams at the VERY right time (in hindsight I should have put them over the Ravens, probably)...the thing is with the AFC I can go 7-8 teams deep and I have to work my ass off to find a reason to put 5 up there :unsure:

(and I was hurrying myself yesterday since I have to get these out on THURSDAYS from now on for the fracking NFL Network games :P)

in fact.... there's an edit button... lemme go change that

It doesn't matter if they getting teams at the right time, they are still winning these games. The Jets had a gift against a undermanned Green Bay team, and couldn't close the deal. The Pat's have learned to win these types of games.

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Crasher, I give you a BIG thumbs-up for the John Pinette reference in the Jet-Lion preview. I've seen him three times, and I can't stop laughing just thinking about how funny those shows were.

I have a feeling the Jet-Lion game will be more than a star-and-a-half. The Lions have some firepower, and the Jet offense is more than capable of keeping this game close.

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Crasher, I give you a BIG thumbs-up for the John Pinette reference in the Jet-Lion preview. I've seen him three times, and I can't stop laughing just thinking about how funny those shows were.

I have a feeling the Jet-Lion game will be more than a star-and-a-half. The Lions have some firepower, and the Jet offense is more than capable of keeping this game close.

That bit is one of my all time favorite stand up impressions to do...YOU GO NOOOOOOWWWWW, can't help it :lol:

I really don't, they had a brutal ugly hard to watch game with a MUCH better team last week.... the Lions are scrappy and I give them credit they play tougher then another blue and silver team that has a home game on thanksgiving.... but the Lions need the passing game to be effective..... 48% ain't gonna do it.....

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It doesn't matter if they getting teams at the right time, they are still winning these games. The Jets had a gift against a undermanned Green Bay team, and couldn't close the deal. The Pat's have learned to win these types of games.

and Tampa Bay's winning games too... should I suck their nuts too???

This Patriot team reminds me a LOT of the one that got smoked in the playoffs last year.... the only difference (and it's a big one) is they're letting Ben-Jarvis run the ball and he's a DAMN GOOD back too, and something you're gonna need to play effective football in the North East in the next two months...

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I don't see how the Giants can beat Seattle. It says here that Seattle has never lost a home game. EVER. They could recruit folks from Microsoft and still go 8-0 at home every year.

look who the starting QB is for Seattle this week :P

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I give up on professional sports in the year 2010.

Devils sucked at the end of last season and so far this season.

Mets...were the Mets.

Nets...well, after winning like 12 games total, even 2-4 looks good.

Seahawks will again do this whole 6-10, 7-9, 8-8 bullsh!t they always do.

Even RBNY crapped out on me.

My whole sports fandom is just one giant Price Is Right loser horn these days. :mellow:

CMON 2011.

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Crash, I clearly understand if you don't want to put the Pats at #1, but they do own the NFL's best record, and did beat one of those top-5 teams...what exactly do they have to do to crack your Top 5? An argument can be made for the Colts being in there as well...

I'm guessing you're waiting to see how the Pats fare against Pitt, Indy, and the Jets in the coming weeks? I can see that...I'm kind of doing the same thing.

Suffice it to say that you can remove the Pats from your Top-5 if you so desire...

Tough one, bad on so many levels, but sh!t like this happens in the NFL...I'm trying not to make too much out of it, and reserving full judgment until they play the Steelers, COlts, and Jets...but this team is on pace to give up 376 points...and the offense has been inconsistent...hard to believe a team like that is going to go far if they make the playoffs.

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Suffice it to say that you can remove the Pats from your Top-5 if you so desire...

Tough one, bad on so many levels, but sh!t like this happens in the NFL...I'm trying not to make too much out of it, and reserving full judgment until they play the Steelers, COlts, and Jets...but this team is on pace to give up 376 points...and the offense has been inconsistent...hard to believe a team like that is going to go far if they make the playoffs.

Eh....EVERY team's allowed a sh!tter week....it's much easier to give other teams a pass when you watch the Cowboys each week..... the Lions TRY.... the Bills play with GUTS AND HEART (that damn team is growing on me I swear!)....even Carolina.....and then you watch the Dallas Cowboys LIE DOWN, not even put an effort in there (and I swear to Christ giving the Packers a 29 point game made me throw the phone across the room.... AGAIN.....)

It's getting tough to blast other teams :P

For frack's sake Brett Favre SAVED CHILDRESS'S JOB!!!!!! A Hatfield saved a freaking McCoy!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

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Eh....EVERY team's allowed a sh!tter week....it's much easier to give other teams a pass when you watch the Cowboys each week..... the Lions TRY.... the Bills play with GUTS AND HEART (that damn team is growing on me I swear!)....even Carolina.....and then you watch the Dallas Cowboys LIE DOWN, not even put an effort in there (and I swear to Christ giving the Packers a 29 point game made me throw the phone across the room.... AGAIN.....)

It's getting tough to blast other teams :P

For frack's sake Brett Favre SAVED CHILDRESS'S JOB!!!!!! A Hatfield saved a freaking McCoy!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

Yeah, I was initially aggravated, but like you say, not uncommon to have to a crap week or two...funny how BB's former assistants have a way of getting the best of him (Dnever last season, Browns this year)...

If the Pats are, say, 7-5 after their next four games (a definite possibility) then they go right back into the pretender category for me, even if they run the table to finish 11-5.

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Yeah, I was initially aggravated, but like you say, not uncommon to have to a crap week or two...funny how BB's former assistants have a way of getting the best of him (Dnever last season, Browns this year)...

If the Pats are, say, 7-5 after their next four games (a definite possibility) then they go right back into the pretender category for me, even if they run the table to finish 11-5.

Unless they coach the Jets :lol:

The Browns are a WEIRD team this year.... it's not easy to figure them out.....though maybe they found something in Colt McCoy too :noclue:

Sun 11/21 Indianapolis Colts 4:15 pm Thu 11/25 at Detroit Lions 12:30 pm Mon 12/6 New York Jets 8:30 pm Sun 12/12 at Chicago Bears 1:00 pm Sun 12/19 Green Bay Packers 8:20 pm Sun 12/26 at Buffalo Bills 1:00 pm Sun 1/2 Miami Dolphins 1:00 pm

That is a pretty rough finish :blink: :blink:

Edited by CRASHER
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I smell Dolphin carcass

Dead-Dolphins-Jask-PersianGulf1.jpg

brandon-marshall.jpg

"We won't be able to beat anybody in this league, if we keep playing like we're playing. This is only my first year here, but Coach Henning and Coach Sparano's formula might be a little different than where I come from. I'm fine with it, but it becomes a problem when we're losing. There's frustration being felt by many of us right now. This is the fourth quality team we've played against, and it just wasn't good enough. I think it's obvious what our problem is. We can't beat the good teams in this league. Simple as that." -Brandon Marshall.

..ouch! BUT.. props to BM for telling it like it is anyway. :thumbsup:

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Suffice it to say that you can remove the Pats from your Top-5 if you so desire...

Tough one, bad on so many levels, but sh!t like this happens in the NFL...I'm trying not to make too much out of it, and reserving full judgment until they play the Steelers, COlts, and Jets...but this team is on pace to give up 376 points...and the offense has been inconsistent...hard to believe a team like that is going to go far if they make the playoffs.

The Browns did a number on NE, that's for sure. Mangini had two week to prepare for a game that obviously means a lot personally to him as well as professionally. They pretty much knew everything NE was running and were able to stop it. And if you have watched NE this year, as I know you definitely have, the defense is very suspect. They can be stuck on the field for a while and the Browns just kept pounding with Hillis.

I was left really impressed with McCoy. He kept the play alive on a number of occasions and played plays, and so did his receivers.

New England is going to miss Moss a lot at times. He was constantly doubled on every play allowing Welker anything he wants underneath. It is no coincident that Welker's numbers have gone to sh!t since Moss left. Teams can zero in on him finally with very little consequences anymore.

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The Browns did a number on NE, that's for sure. Mangini had two week to prepare for a game that obviously means a lot personally to him as well as professionally. They pretty much knew everything NE was running and were able to stop it. And if you have watched NE this year, as I know you definitely have, the defense is very suspect. They can be stuck on the field for a while and the Browns just kept pounding with Hillis.

I was left really impressed with McCoy. He kept the play alive on a number of occasions and played plays, and so did his receivers.

New England is going to miss Moss a lot at times. He was constantly doubled on every play allowing Welker anything he wants underneath. It is no coincident that Welker's numbers have gone to sh!t since Moss left. Teams can zero in on him finally with very little consequences anymore.

I've been harping on NE's defense all season. They looked like they were starting to become an improving "bend but don't break" bunch that gives up yards between the 20s but finds a way to make key plays...this week was a big step backwards. And like I pointed out, they're on pace to give up 376 points...that's hard to ignore.

As for Moss, that double-team stuff is overrated...he wasn't doubled nearly as much as you'd think, because teams were figuring out that he wasn't giving much in the way of effort this season. Brady and his offense have gone back more to a spread-it-around type...which means no one is going to put up big numbers (like the old days).

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