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ITB: Flyers resume search for franchise goaltender after Bryzgalov’

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#1 SteveStirling


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Posted 22 September 2011 - 11:01 AM

Philadelphia Flyers General Manager Paul Holmgren announced he has resumed his search for a franchise goaltender after blockbuster free agent signing Ilya Bryzgalov was lit up for three goals in his preseason debut last night.

“I think it’s safe to say this isn’t working out,” Holmgren said. “All no movement clauses, like Ilya’s, are written in pencil these days, so we’ve erased it and expect to have him out of town by nightfall.”

Asked who possible trade partners might be, Holmgren said there are a few potential options.

“We’re looking at anywhere that is totally barren of public parks,” he said. “Probably Detroit.”

A crestfallen Bryzgalov was spotted at several of Philadelphia’s  illustrious public parks this morning, but said the city’s abundant green space provided little solace.

“Every time I sat down someone would jump out of the bushes and start throwing batteries at me,” he said. “I think my family needs to be in a place that is more understanding of how to recycle disposable energy cells.”

In related news, it is believed the Toronto Maple Leafs, who defeated the Flyers 4-2 last night, are preparing to offer their first round draft picks through 2027 in exchange for the Russian netminder.

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