Crosby hasn’t played since last year after suffering a concussion in the first weeks of 2011. Crosby was expected to meet with a neurologist later this week in hopes of being cleared for contact, but was found lying on the floor, bleeding from the head after a fielding questions from a reporter scrum.
“Sid’s got a unique situation,” said his new doctor, Jeremy Roenick. “He actually could have played sometime last year, but having to field the same question 1,400 times a day is enough to drive any man crazy.”
Crosby was said to have snapped after a reporter asked him the same question for his third straight follow up.
“Follow up Sid, are you sure you won’t be playing this Saturday? If not, surely your career is over right? And if so, can we pencil you in as a candidate for the Republican nomination for the president of the United States?”
The Penguins have been thriving in Crosby’s absence, going 3-0-1 in their first four games. Opposing players say they have been dumbfounded by the fact that Matt Cooke is the team’s leading goal-scorer through three games.
“You miss Sid. He’s great for the game,” said Edmonton Oilers forward Ryan Smyth. “It’s been way too long since he’s slew-footed me and had me called for a penalty. I haven’t been knocked unconscious by Cooke in months only to have Mario Lemieux bitch to the media about me making headshots the next day. It just bums me out.”
Crosby’s return remains uncertain. In an effort to take the pressure off his star, Penguins General Manager Ray Shero said he has rekindled trade talks revolving around Evgeni Malkin with the Los Angeles Kings.
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