Wow....three weeks to go...it all goes so FAST too...weird thing....I don't think I'm going to miss it when it's gone this year....crazy ain't it (maybe it's the amount of sh!t games and teams on the TV each week)....another Thursday Night STINKER....and more holiday joy for all as my birthday week football begins!!!
Thursday Dec. 8:
Cleveland at Pittsburgh:
Who in God's name thought this was a good idea for Thursday Night?? I won't spend a lot of time on this one....hell I almost didn't write my preview till Friday in protest!! All you need to know about this game was the conversation between us all during the Browns and Ravens "Oh my God...how are the Browns 9th in the league in pass defense?? They're AWFUL!"... Me: "Simple, their run defense is so pathetic why would you bother throwing on them??" (case in point look what Ray Rice did).....this might be the week Laflamme feels better about that Mendenhall for Chris Johnson deal....
Winner: Steelers
Game Quality: DUD, DUD, DUD...this makes Devils and Ottawa look good!
Sunday Dec. 11:
1pm:
Patriots at Redskins:
One week after the Redskins got torched by the Jets offense.....a team with an NFL offense comes to town, and they might be a lil ticked after taking the foot off the gas and letting the Colts almost come back (I still think that's classic Belichek spite refusing to cover the spread....and like I said last week...the best way to spite the Colts was....to let them win...hrmmmm), the Redskins have a nice defense but such a horrific offense that even if Roy Helu ran for 200 yards good ol'Rex would find a way to screw it up....give the Redskins no chance in hell here and move on.....
Winner: Patriots
Game Quality: DUD (again)
Saints at Titans:
The Saints are an unstoppable juggernaut at home...but this is in Nashville....on the road the Saints are 3-3 and an UNTHINKABLE loss (still) to the then-winless Rams, who only won ONCE since then....the Titans have won two in a row and Chris Johnson is looking back in form now...Saints D averages 114 yards a game allowed to running backs (and Tebow's if they played him)...more alarming is the 3rd worst pass defense (264 yards/game)...Mark Ingram is banged up (again...something about Saint running backs inspire fragility eh?)...and I'd like to see the Titans keep it interesting in the AFC South....
Winner: Titans (I know...you guys don't take me serious anyway)
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Eagles at Miami:
Have the Eagles folded their tents and quit on Andy Reid? It sure seems so doesn't it? What a stinker in Seattle last week....then again when Vince Young looks like a stoned deer staring into the headlights of a semi doing 75 MPH coming down the highway....how good can your team look? The one thing you can say about VY (besides exposing the fraud of "QBs who just win"...stop glaring at me Tebow fans
....that Steeler ballbag at the bar is still stinging from me stuff his hail Tebow comments with a reminder on when Vince Young was that "he just wins" garbage....least he didn't come back and say that Tebow was white and VY isn't....)...I've grown an appreciation for how good Vick is in moving in the pocket and keeping plays alive behind that stinky trash offensive line and in making plays in spite of that.....the Dolphins, while equally as done, are playing good defense, running the ball and getting quality QB play from Matt Moore (Moore's solid play has been the most damming thing you can see about Chad Henne and his NFL future....)...sadly the Dolphins are doing enough to save Sporano's little job down there, though it is a LOT easier to come out and play hard with no pressure on you and win late games when you started like 0-7, they'd fold again when the games matter next September....Jesus I wrote all that on this anti-football morsel?? Go figure....I always do....anyway....Winner: Dolphins
Game Quality: *** (the train wreck of the Eagles adds a point!)
Atlanta at Carolina:
The Panthers won last week...but it was a Josh Freeman-less mess of a Tampa Bay team that's crashing through the sky like Sputnik (too old a reference?....should I stick with Owen Hart?)...anyway, beating Tampa isn't that impressive....on the other hand, the Falcons had as bad a loss as you can have to a good team in the other conference....afraid to run the ball on the Houston D, they turned to Matt Ryan to toss it up....and never found the end zone....as fun as the sCam Newton story is this year, their defense...not so much fun...132 yards a game allowed rushing, that should mean a feast for Michael Turner, and the Falcons gotta win at least 3 of the last 4 games to be a safe bet for the playoffs....this makes this a "gotta have" game....
Winner: Falcons
Game Quality: ** (the NFL made me try to make this sound interesting so they can hype sCam!)
Tampa Bay at Jacksonville:
Holy backed up toilet type of BAD football!!!! Josh Freeman is gonna try to play this week....does it matter? Their defense is still bad....that's good for MJ-D...the Jags can run the ball and play some defense (though Phillip Rivers not only lit them up....but didn't make mistakes last week....either Rivers found it, or the Jags stunk with the new coach....I'd rather think the Jags stunk actually)...but yeah, this game could be amusing enough to watch...then again my hockey teammates tell me I'm nuts and love pain, collisions, impact and have a weird liking for it....whateverrrrr.....
Winner: Bucs
Game Quality: * (this doesn't DESERVE anti-football!)
Houston at Cincinnati:
This is a fascinating one....the Bengals until last week looked ready to finally pick off a good team in the AFC, and it's amazing how the Texans are doing this....more so when you look at the injured list (well aside of Matt Leinart failing epically....TJ Hooker's looked more impressive then Leinart did in the first half of that game)...the Bengals don't allow a lot on the ground, or a lot of points...but neither do the Texans....the Texans have stuffed better offenses then the Bengals though....and when Laflamme makes a BOLD PREDICTION....you run the other way and bet your life on the other team.....I'd not take a Laflamme BP to the bank "if the world ended tomorrow...." (don't worry...he gets the joke....) I need no other reason to bet hard on the Texans....
Winner: Texans (Laflamme predictions are as bad as #Buffaloing)
Game Quality: ***
Vikings at Lions:
The Vikings did something unthinkable....they made Tim Tebow into a pocket passer....that's how bad their pass defense is...really really bad....so bad that maybe Jared Allen should stop going on the NFL Network laughing at other teams screwing up and should worry more about getting anally violated by God's pet QB eh? Now enter the Lions....Matt Stafford and Calvin Johnson....this could get ugly.....and I might just enjoy that (there's something about Paul Allen's broadcast homerism that makes me hate the Vikings, like I do the Avs and Penguins in the NHL), this is the game the Lions won't miss Mr Suh and his FOOT STOMP OF IMPENDING DOOM as much....
Winner: Lions
Game Quality: **
Chiefs at Jets:
How THE HELL do the Jets find WORSE offenses to play against every week? Seriously?? Shane Falco!?!? Or is this the week they dummy up the playbook and shove Kyle Orton in there? The Chiefs played the Steelers to the max, and beat the Bears (though without Matt Forte who was like their RVD....you know, the whole f'ning show and all....that's a big asterisk with a team that lets up 130 yards a game on the ground).....this should be another easy game for the Jets....though it probably won't be....the Jets don't know "easy sit back and relax" wins, but at the day's end they will do just enough in this one....
Winner: Jets
Game Quality: **
Colts at Ravens:
How do the Ravens get the awful Colts after feasting on the Browns?? Oh yeah when the schedule was made this was a "tough game"...oops, I really got nothing to say here....a loss here clinches the Colts' tank job officially, like it was any mystery....let the Manning vs Luck drama BEGIN *sigh*...that just ain't right.....
Winner: Ravens
Game Quality: DUD (who the HELL is scheduling the 1pm games, really??)
4pm:
Bears at Denver:
So seriously, the Bears guys asked Tebow to PRAY for Cutler's thumb (which FYI...has a twitter!), seriously though it really is like the almighty is mowing down opponents for this guy, it's getting annoying...."But Scott, he lit up the Vikings!!"....Give me Laflamme and two other 6'4'' stumbling fools and I'll throw for 250 and 3 TDs on that garbage secondary, so don't give me that!!! And now....no Matt Forte?? CMONNN...this just ain't fair I tell you....I actually have to pick a QB who used the word "golly" when talking about the Bears defense?? Holy Hell....when I die and I'm at the Pearly Gates, before they look at my resume and laugh me on to hell I'm gonna ask what in the Blazes the almighty sees in this guy and if he likes him so much, why didn't he gift Tebow with an arm that can THROW the football??
Winner: Denver
Game Quality: **
49ers at Arizona:
You know I get a sneaking suspicion if the 49ers get to the 31 yard line with two timeouts and a tie game they will ACTUALLY know how to manage the clock and get the game winning field goal.....San Fran is a Ginger-Free coaching zone!! That's all I need to know.....
Winner: 49ers
Game Quality: DUD
Buffalo at San Diego:
It's been a rough, injury filled second half for the Bills....it's funny how it all fell apart when Fitz got re-up'ed, it's been a bigger curse then 47 yards wide right...or Brett Hull.....or California Croissants! The Chargers look like they got it right last week....the Bills defense is all sorts of beat up...and the Chargers gotta win them all to have a chance in the West (though they'd be better off losing out and making the needed changes in coach and GM, but that never seems to work out either....right Dolphin fans?)...it's still a shame that the Bills fell like Hasek in the crease back in 1999....they've been fun to watch.....
Winner: Chargers
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Oakland at Green Bay:
Alright, so I was offsides on the Raiders last week...but you know what...name the AFC team that hasn't sh!t the bed so badly it flooded the toilet in the same sitting? Green Bay had their "scary moment" last week (as scary as you can call it when A-Rod flicks his wrist makes three plays and wins the game when it matters....I really wish that "genius" Ginger-Coach was taking notes on how to ACTUALLY manage a clock at the end of a game)...the Raiders are still without McFadden and a bunch of those speedy WRs, and to beat Green Bay...you better have all hands on deck....the big thing in this game will be to see if Green Bay bounces back and wallops on my poor jinxed Raiders....if they don't the "are they out of gas" talk is going to begin....even if they win this ugly as hell, I can't see the Raiders pulling this out.....
Winner: Packers
Game Quality: **
8pm:
Giants at Dallas:
For all the Giants fans laughing and pointing at the "Cowboys December swoon"....14-18 under Coughlin in December...ohhhh, you guys is world beaters!!! Last in rushing....29th in defense....but yet they wanna hold their head on an "almost" against Green Bay?? CMON! Was that a bump in the road for Dallas, or the beginning of the end and another collapse....but you could say the same about the Giants too...they still can't run the ball, the D is still all kinds of beat up, and really a "moral victory" is still a LOSS you know...I do expect these teams to split in the 2 games they got left....so gimmie the home team and more false hope in Dallas.....
Winner: Dallas
Game Quality: *** 1/2
Monday Dec. 12:
St. Louis at Seattle:
Damn it's nice to see the NFL hates ESPN as much as I do ain't it? And even better...I got ANOTHER HOCKEY GAME MONDAY!!! YAY FOR THE LOSERS BRACKET!!! Then again my team sucks as bad as this game will
....back into analyst mode here....Seattle's good at home, the Rams were only good when hosting the Saints....this is an easy one to pick and move on from....Winner: Seattle
Game Quality: DUD
NFL Power-Rankings, Week 13:
AFC:
1. DENVER....why the hell not....I need to make God happy before my birthday, and it's all the NFL Network talks about!!
2. New England...I'm still unimpressed by the 4 in a row....and the 5th won't help either....
3. Houston...BIG win at home against a good team in Atlanta....TJ HOOKER is the new Tebow!
4. Baltimore....6-0 at home and looking at a bye...good sign...
5. Steelers....like a hemorrhoid to team MANTA
NFC:
1. Green Bay....zzzzzz
2. 49ers....nappy time continues....
3. Saints...I should copy/paste this....
4. Giants....*sigh*, their almost is better then the beaten Lions, decimated Bears, and the Falcons looked like ass
5. Seattle?? Hell no one deserves the 5-spot in the NFC.....
