Damn only 3 more to go before the playoffs, and as if these damn Thursday games aren't enough....now we get Saturday Night football games too (and only on the NFL Network can we "thank God it's Thursday"....ON A SATURDAY NIGHT *sigh*....the only good thing is that the Cowboys ain't on Sunday so I can enjoy the football day....), more injured QBs and Tim Tebow anti-Quarterbacking coming at you this week!!
Thursday Dec. 15:
Jacksonville at Atlanta:
You know how BAD this game is...even those stupid NFL Network commercials where they show the home team fans getting all fired up and doing something of some local-stereotype thing to get ready...you know what the 3 Jaguar fans are doing?? THEY'RE SQUEEZING ORANGES....REALLY!!! ALL YOU GOT IS FRAKING ORANGE JUICE!!! *sigh*....then again I guess if they're going to show a typical Atlanta sports fan, he'd be doing something else... this game sucks, so do the Jaguars and the Falcons HAVE to have this.....
Game Quality: *
Saturday Dec. 17:
Dallas at Tampa Bay:
Here we go again....it's another week, another MORONIC Cowboys loss (but say what you want, Dumbo's completing over 60% and is 5 TDs to no INTs this December....so here comes the 3 INT game right??), it's typical though....everytime these a$$holes get you feeling good about this team, all they need is to split with the Giants and the NFC East is locked up....NO SACKS, missed game winning FGs, you name it, this team finds a way to screw it up....and Miles Austin misses an easy TD in the LIGHTS OF THE STADIUM....*groan*....since the only way this team can piss me off is to beat Phily and Tampa and then blow it in a "one shall stand, one shall fall" game in NJ come January...yeah they'll do that......(not to mention losing Demarco Murray hurts too)
Game Quality: ** (Dallas will do something stupid, keep Tampa in it, and make this sh!t-pile watchable)
Sunday Dec. 18:
Carolina at Houston:
You know...this game could actually be interesting....or is this more the fact that your typical NFL game this year has been an injury filled steaming pile of dogsh!t?? (Notice this Goodell the more you make more stupid rules for "player safety", the MORE PLAYERS SEEM TO GO DOWN....interesting ain't it??), but I think for me what makes this one interesting is seeing sCam Newton going head to head with this Houston defense....and well speaking of Rookie of the Year nods....can we throw TJ Yates into the mix? (Ah I still like calling him TJ Hooker better)...and lost in all the fancy numbers, flashy stats and Deion Sanders' singing....Carolina's still only won 4 games....the Texans are playing for fancy things like home field and bye weeks (and trust me, any trip to Houston is torture, so why not make your playoff opponent suffer right?)
Game Quality: ***
Miami at Buffalo:
You know if you combined the Bills first half of the year and the Dolphins second half....you get the Green Bay Packers .....this was going to have a shred of interest and watch-ability with Matt Moore in the game (Matt Moore?? Holy Christ....Tell me I did NOT just say that......)...but now its JP Losman going against the team that was dumb enough to draft him....oh BOY! Just about any good player on either team .....is on the IR list....so this won't be what we call riveting football....but it does have sweet glorious anti-football written all over it!!! Oh wait....someone has to WIN this??? Good Christ almighty....where's that damn coin to flip.....
Game Quality: *** of anti-football SWEETNESS!!
Titans at Colts:
Ewwww, wow....yuck....does this even count as anti-football?? If anything least it's like putting Jake Locker out there against the Brooklyn Brawler in an old WWF Superstars squash match so we can see all the moves he has against the old time jobber....watch now Hasselbeck will play and there will be no reason to watch this game, well except for Chris Johnson going for like 200 yards so I can thank Laflamme foe the "too late" saving trade right?? I refuse to even commentate on the damn Colts by now....tank somewhere else!!
Game Quality: *
Cincinnati vs St. Louis:
It's bad enough they let the Rams on Monday Night this week....now they get to play again in the NFL?? It's amazing how a hurried pre-season has created a 75-car accident in the NFL this year...ugh! The Bengals are still trying to hang in the playoff scene....despite not winning a game against any team that deserves to play NFL football, but that's the NFL this year....average is the new good...and crap is the new average.... *groan*
Game Quality: Sorry I fell into a coma thinking about this one....
Seattle at Chicago:
Three weeks ago, this would have been a Chicago beatdown...but two injuries to Cutler and Matt Forte, a divine series of brain-farts outta Marian Barber, and a little Seattle hot streak has made this a game with MAJOR playoff implications...and frankly with Caleb Hanie making Tim Tebow look like he can play the QB position and MB III showing me that you can take the player outta the Cowboys, but you can't take the Cowboy outta the player, I'm calling upset here (despite the issues Seattle has on the road, the Bears suck EVERYWHERE)
Game Quality: **
Saints at Vikings:
This is rough....to watch....the Saints while not so good on the road...the Peterson-less Vikings...are just EWWW, wow....2-11?? They're so BAD I didn't realize how BAD they are....ha! I was going to look into AP's status, but 2-11? I just DON'T CARE...let's see if the Saints score 100 points and Drew Brees wipes out some Dan Marino records (at 4,368 yards...that 5,100-some yard record IS in range....)....alright even I can't find something fun to say about this anymore...I've spun and shined up too many turds this year....
Game Quality: ** (I enjoy seeing the Vikings suffer what can I say?)
Green Bay at Kansas City:
People are trying to spin this as a "trap game" for Kansas City??? HOW!?!?!? The Chiefs might score first, take the football run out of the stadium and refuse to play another snap?? GIVE ME A BREAK! This game stinks, the Chiefs are intolerably bad....and Todd Haley got the ever-famous "future endeavoring"...and this game is as fun as listening to Michael Cole for three hours....get me the frak out of this preview!!!
Game Quality: DUD (the ants in a park under a magnifying glass have a better chance then the Chiefs )
Washington at NY Giants:
The Redskins are the suck team that played the game of their season last week and STILL lost....and while I appreciate the Cowboys trying to send a birthday gift to the NJ-area...typical, even the gift got intercepted....irony....the Giants will get healthy, Bradshaw is back....and yeah they'll win this....NEXT
Game Quality: DUD
Detroit at Oakland:
Well this is the game of the week me thinks (screw you Tebow!)...the winner of this keeps sniffing at the playoffs, the loser...well they probably still will too....especially the Lions....not only does no one deserve to be a Wild Card in the NFC, none of them are playing like they WANT IT....the Lions have Kevin Smith coming back...the Raiders are still missing McFadden, and it's getting bad now...though Michael Bush should get some yards on the Lions D...just look out for the people's footstomp! Speaking of....Mister Suh is back...and I expect the Lions to have a bit of an angry edge (and is it just me, or do the angrier and dirtier the Lions play, do I find myself rooting more and more for them and their SCREW YOUR RULES attitude), this game IS a must-watch though!!!
Game Quality: *** 1/2
Cleveland at Arizona:
Football fans...THIS is Sunday.... THIS is....ANTI-FOOTBALL!!!!!! Though if you could put Colt McCoy on the Cardinals, you'd have a pretty decent team...hrrmmm, and Kevin Kolb deserves to be on garbage team like the Browns ....though to be fair, the Cowboys loss in Arizona looks less painful after seeing the Cards beat up Frank Gore and pull off the upset NO ONE saw, because the world had a dragging hard-on for Tebow entertaining us with more stunning anti-QB play and wobbling duck his way into the end zone...yet AGAIN, and OMG, if Arizona wins this game they're 7-7?!?!?!!? That probably puts them in the playoff hunt...Lord help us all....
Game Quality: ** (for chuckle factor)
Jets at Eagles:
Don't look now....thanks to the level of AWFUL the NFL is now, both of these teams are still sniffing playoff delusions....Michael Vick is healthy again, and don't think he makes a difference in the Phily offense....oh yeah, Vince Young is one of those "he just wins" QBs *scoffs*...despite the 8-5 record....do we really know who the Jets are?? They still can't pound the ball (Greene running wild on the awful Chiefs is not a "we can now run it" kinda effort, sorry)...the D is still missing a pass rush, NO ONE trusts Sanchez to toss the Nacho's down the field, and it would be typical NFL to see the Eagles make a run and get back in the NFC East picture...so yeah I'll go with that, and not to mention how awesome Dr McCoy has been running the ball in Phily too....
Game Quality: ***
New England at Denver:
This is an EPIC game of two classic "smoke n mirrors' football teams...how so? The pats win without playing a SHRED of NFL level defense....but that's ok, the Broncos win without a shred of NFL offense...it's a perfect match-up....the Evil Empire, vs the Avenging Angel of Anti-Football!! God vs Satan, and hell a VERY good Bronco D against that pass till it hurts offense of the Pats....as much as you watch Tebow and laugh and go "oh sh!t he's doing it AGAIN"...it gets you to watch, and it has made some late Sunday games FUN to watch....I would love to say that "Evil will always triumph over good...because GOOD IS DUMB"....but nah, the anti-QB phenom will find a way and DO IT AGAIN....seriously.....God help us all (speaking of....for all the people that say God loves Tebow?? If God loved him THAT much, he'd have blessed him with an NFL arm, thank you!!!)
Game Quality: **** (Tebow makes Anti-Football cool!)
Ravens at Chargers:
This is a weird one....the Chargers are on their typical end of season "righting the ship" mode and making that run that's going to come up one game short because of this Tebow idiocy....the Ravens are 10-3...but I still feel like there's something...missing....from calling them elite....maybe it's just that I'm not all in on Joe Flacco...least he was accurate enough to impregnate his wife though!! This is the kinda game you'll see the Charger A-Game and you'll sit wonder and get PIST thinking "where the HELL was THAT all year??"...Rivers should be able to make some big plays on the Raven secondary and that will be enough here......
Game Quality: ***
Monday Dec. 19:
Steelers at 49ers:
No hockey this week....well that still sucks, least the game is of quality....more so if Frank Gore can go, just to make the Steelers THINK about the run....and the Niners need this after an AWFUL loss last week to Arizona, and the Steelers are just cruising along now (thanks to the fact that Big Ben is an alien robot cause no human comes back from THAT injury)....I want to take the 49ers, I love watching them play, but their style falls right into what the Steelers want...stuff the run, make Alex Smith pass....and profit on mistakes and turnovers....I'm beginning to worry because the shine is coming off the 49ers (the Saints might pass them for the bye week and it's gonna be one and done in San Fran at this rate)....this will be a close one though....
Game Quality: ***
NFL Power Rankings, week 14:
2. Saints...seem to be getting their groove at the right time....
3. 49ers....but starting to slip.....
4. Arizona....3rd hottest team in the NFC, yes go check the standings
5. NY Giants...got out-FAILED by the Cowboys......
1. Denver....good Christ, the jinx failed.....
2. Pittsburgh....Big Ben is a Terminator....
3. Ravens....probably just as good as 1 and 2 here too....
4. Houston....TJ Yates, Rookie of the Year??
5. New England....I am as unimpressed as CM Punk is....