....no I didn't forget....it's just a pain in the damn ass when Christmas and New Year's fall on a weekend.....and it's funny, usually I'm upset when the NFL Regular Season ends....I'm not this year (though Sun Tavern having a change in ownership and no goddamn Direct TV for the last two weeks didn't help....talk about a gift of Christmas Coal right?)....for once I'm looking forward to having my Sundays to sleep in and play hockey, but it's all good....I still love me my football Sundays and time to wrap up this wacked out NFL 2011 season!
Sunday January 1:
Detroit at Green Bay:
Wow, talk about a battle of UPS Workers right? Neither one of these teams has a damn thing to play for today, and I'm sure both will take the foot off the gas (especially Detroit since they play next week), it's Sunday Morning and this game's gonna be on a pre-season level....so I'm just skipping this since I will be talking about these teams heavily in the playoffs...
Winner: Packers (just cause 15-1 sounds better)
Game Quality: DUD
Colts at Jaguars:
Well it's official....with a win the Colts can officially blow the Suck for Luck sweepstakes (told you they would ) and Peyton can take the big pacifier out of his mouth and lose the neck brace and come back next year, which is ironic, because this is usually the time of the year they tank and take their foot off the gas and blow it in the playoffs....go figure....the Jaguars stink and outside of MJ-D have an offense that should not be viewed by human eyes (it makes them burn....seriously)...the only reason to watch this game is to scoff and be glad the Colts won't get Andrew Luck next year.....moving on....
Game Quality: DUD (doesn't even deserve anti-football status)
NY Jets at Miami:
Wow....this is an interesting one actually.....the Jets need to win and the rest of the AFC playoff team wanna-be's planes to crash (or some Calc 3 level of math...it's annoying trust me) to re-backdoor into the Wild Card Spot, however.....the Dolphins have been playing well.....both Jason Taylor and mister Tomlinson are saying this is their last games....the Miami defense is playing well and the way the offense looks under Matt Moore makes you wonder if Chad Henne had been hurt sooner.....would they have made the playoffs?? You'd have to think so....and Miami played tough against New England...while the Jets folded like they had 2/7 and someone raised a $100....and I'm sure Miami would love to go into the off-season with a new coach, a high note and a big flashing sign to whoever wants to coach this team next saying "HEY THERE'S TALENT HERE!"
Game Quality: *** (ok I overrate this game cause I gotta watch it)
Carolina at New Orleans:
Well this was a pretty successful campaign for the Panthers....a re-birth on offense, a couple of good wins, and a feeling the franchise is moving the right way....one more good draft (and maybe a good WR as well)...and we might be putting this team into the playoff conversation sooner or later (good luck in that division though)...New Orleans however is playing for somethings....a chance at home field and a bye....a chance to pad Drew Brees' passing yards record....and to go 8-0 at home....and anyone who's seen the Saints at home and seen how awesome they are and how important the dome-field edge is for the Saints....no way they take their foot off the gas.....6-10 is a START Panthers!!!
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Bears at Vikings:
So it's Luke McNown (or Cade...I really don't care they both suck)....vs Christian Ponder...no Matt Forte....no Adrian Peterson...no playoff possibilities and hell the Vikings could also be in the running for the #1 pick....yeah this is a pile of dog-poo that I'd probably watch if the damn bar had Sunday Ticket (damned owner changes), so I be angry about this game....but kinda sad I can't watch this disaster.....picking a winner here is a bold prediction....so I'll go the other way.....
Game Quality: ** (anti-football goodness??)
Bills at New England:
I forget who I was having the conversation with but we were talking about home field in the AFC.... "So if the Pats lose, the Ravens can be the top seed right??" "Yep..." "So who does NE play??" "Buffalo"...."Didn't they beat NE once this year??" both of us at once go "Yeah the Bills are dead this week....".....and Tom Brady makes passing Dan Marino's passing number cliche (and honestly it kinda cheapens Drew Brees setting the record when Brady goes "hey I can do that too!")
Game Quality: **
Titans at Houston:
Oh how I hoped this was for the division a few weeks ago....*sigh*....I will say this is a MUST game for the Texans...lost two in a row and the shine has been stripped off TJ Yates in the last few weeks as teams got some film and a good look at how to get to him...least he gets Andre Johnson back and like I said....Houston NEEDS this game just to exhale and feel good about the playoffs next week, and hell the Titans already had a pretty decent year, with 8 wins....new coach and a crappy Chris Johnson (for the most)....no WR weapons this was a pretty good growing year, though I'm sure they wanted to get Ponder in more then they did, but Hasselbeck was too solid to bench (for the most)....let's see if the Texans can man-up and pull out a game they really need for their psyche going into next week....I think they will so they probably won't
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Washington at Phily:
Well the good news of how they made the schedule we have a couple of "play and you're in" games....but man we get a lot of dog-poo games to get to that....this is one of those games....when the Redskins get an NFL QB behind center I'll worry about breaking them down and dissecting thing....the Eagles had one of those WTF seasons we will talk about for a long long time...but I think some players are playing for pride...and their coach (Andy Reid's resume should be enough to give him another shot here), and despite it all the Eagles can end this disaster season on an up note....that's enough to pick a winner here...
Game Quality: * 1/2
49ers at St. Louis:
So all we need to do in San Fran is win and be the 2-seed?? And who are we playing?? The Rams...well it's Sam Bradford right? Nope.... Well AJ Feely.....NOPE.....it's Kellen Clemmens!?!?!? And we just need to win THAT to get the 2-seed, a bye and likely the Saints on our soggy, damp turf in mid-January.....I'll sign up for that....as for the Rams, the sooner this season ends, the better....so much youth getting better....so much a wasted season...time to mop up the mess and flush the coach out the airlock......
Game Quality: DUD
Tampa at Atlanta:
Is there a bigger "dead team walking" then the Bucs now? The coach lost the team, and honestly this team was TOO young for it's own damned good....they need some veteran presence, especially on offense ($50 million under the cap...what?), Atlanta is playing to just keep sharp and keep rolling especially with the offense starting to look awesome again....not only has Tampa lost NINE in a row....ain't many of them been close...this is the morning after when you get up with a bit of a headache look over and say...."I just slept with THAT" and get the hell out of her apartment praying she never got your number.....
Game Quality: DUD
Seattle at Arizona:Man if only this was LAST week...it would have been huge.....still there's some things going on here that matter....Seattle wins and they match that playoff-worthy 7-9 from last year right?? Arizona's gotta be looking at John Skelton as their QB of the Future now....least he knows how to get the damn ball to Larry Fitz right? Both of these teams will be doing some heavy evaluating this week...but it's hard to go against the BEAST MODE at this point...CMONNNN MARSHAWN!!!!! CMON 7-9!!!
Game Quality: ** (damn I'd like to see this)
San Diego at Oakland:
For a game that only matters for the Raiders, there's a LOT going on here.....the "win it for Al" mantra for the Raiders to try to get into the playoffs....the Chargers are playing for their coach (cause you know, God Forbid the Chargers have a real coach who brings work ethic and discipline to their team...and a capable GM....), San Diego has been playing better....better enough to beat a Raider team playing for survival (and losers of 3 of their last 4...), ya know what? I think so!! *changing pick* (which is terrible news for Charger fans, the culture and front office of this team MUST be gutted)
Winner: San Diego
Game Quality: ***
Chiefs at Broncos:
Need a game with storylines?? We got ya covered....playoff implications? Yeup!! Non-football story that the casual idiots love? Get on your knee and Thank Jesus....THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU!!!! The high-holy Tebow is turning into the falling angel crashing and burning from the sky (though as he burns he WILL look like the light of God reigning down....and it IS 2012...hrmm)...and on the other hand we have Kyle Orton who's got one thing on his mind....CUT ME FOR THIS GUY?? I'LL SHOW YOU!!!! The problem is, I don't think the Chiefs have the firepower to blow away the Broncos and that means 4th quarter COMEBACK OF DOOOOOOMMMM time!!! So again I look and I change my pick with 45 minutes to go before kickoff....
Winner: Broncos (PRAISE HIS NAME!)
Game Quality: **** (Teebow Trainwrecks are ALWAYS fun!)
Steelers at Browns:
Why are the Steelers even talking about playing Ben today?? Seriously...I get it's an outside shot at home field, but let's be real...you're playing next week and if you can't beat a Seneca Wallace run team without him you don't deserve home-field anyway....get the practice squad out there, you won't need to win this one anyway and you're playing next week....and someone please, work on rebooting the Browns to give Colt McCoy an NCAA Division II worthy offense....then we can work on the NFL-worthy thing......
Game Quality: DUD
Ravens at Bengals:
Marshall Faulk: "BOLD PREDICTION: Joe Flacco will not throw an INT in this game".....the rest of the NFL Gameday crew laughed....that's kinda telling on Flacco this year ain't it?? The Bengals need this to get in the playoffs, the Ravens need it to get a week off, and possibly home-field throughout....this is a big damn game....the Bengals have only beaten ONE team with a winning record all season....and it's not gonna be two today....Crank up the Hendrix...it's gonna be some Purple Haze from along the Watchtower.....sorry bout yo' damn luck Cinci!
Game Quality: ***
Dallas at NY Giants:
Two teams that have struggled and have NO right talking playoffs with how their seasons have rolled...the Giants have been an injured mess on D and in the running game and have been a one-dimensional throw it all over and pray kinda team....while Dallas has the talent and has been healthy just about all year (except at Corner where they suck anyway)....the biggest problem in Dallas is HEART....GUTS....WILL TO FINISH...and a Robotic Ginger-Coach isn't gonna inspire that....maybe we could borrow Emmitt Smith's good arm for the day just for memories sake....anyway...here's what will happen....the Cowboys will look awesome, the weather smiled on them today....Felix Jones will run all over....the passing game will make plays....maybe even Demarcus Ware will get another empty sack in the first half to have the meaningless 20-sack thing....and then the 4th quarter will hit....and the Cowboys will collapse like a cheap tent in a breeze....the gutlessness will show, the excuses will pile up and this game will be a brutal reflection of this ENTIRE SEASON and a chance to have done something special will be tossed away on something stupid....clock management... blocked FG....Gingivitis.....you name it, they will find a way to frak this up!! I can't even get excited about this...hell I get as annoyed as when I see a Mark Messier jersey in a 7-11 as I do thinking about this game.....
Game Quality: ***
NFL Power Rankings Week 16:
1. New England...eh, show me something in two weeks....
2. Baltimore....same thing...win home field and do something with it...yes you too Flacco....
3. Pittsburgh....the forgotten juggernaut....
4. Houston.... free falling, Owen Hart-style....
5. Denver....hell why not??
1. Green Bay....yay, crisis is over!
2. 49ers....home field helps....
3. Saints.....don't worry Dan Marino was impressed!
4. Atlanta.... dangerous offense, this team could be a pain in the ass.....
5. Lions....have running game, will show up....