2873 replies to this topic

[ghdi]

Or maybe he was asked a bunch of questions by a reporter and tried to be as cryptic as possible. There's something for everyone.

Yep, it can be spun any way. If you're a pessimist, you see he's a total goner. If you're hopeful, you can get that out of em too.

I wish Id caught the interview.

Oh well, gonna enjoy the 4th and not think of this sh!t for a day.

[CarpathianForest]

I don't say anything disconcerting about the Zach quotes.

He's basically hitching his peak years to one team. Plus, he's hitching his family to one area.

[SterioDesign]

Can lou hire JP for any kind of jobs in the organization? Haha

[Pepperkorn]

It is NEVER a good idea to try to create a great team with a couple of buddies and/or family members. How did that turn out for kariya and salanne? And for the Sutters? Someone not affiliated with The Devils had better tell that to Zach damn fast. It's the one thing I never figured... He's as fvcking stupid as his dad.

And jackass, Niedermayer learned a little something about winning with the Devils. No. No JP did not learn a thing at the level you'd need to, to pull this kind of sh!t off. AgaIn I point Brent Sutter. And I point out also that yeah. I did in fact call it with neidermayer. He is that smart. And he did it on his own. Didn't have to trust some dummass buddy. Told his bro to stfu and trust him. Dear lord

How to fvcking snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The guy with NOTHING to lose finds a way to fvck it up royally. Please let him just be toying with the media with this ridiculous caper. and with that classic, I return to retirement.

[nessus]

So I guess this means his decision is: stick with the team that drafted him, or play on the same team as his buddy when they both sign with the Pittsburgh Heat.

If the latter turns out to be the case, maybe we'll see some interviews from this guy:

[Jimmy Leeds]

Jesus this thread is jumping at nearly the same clip as the Kovy thread two years ago. You go out, try to have a normal social life for a few hours, and you come back to this thread 20 pages longer than it was when you left.

How dare you lead a normal life when this hangs in the balance !!

Tax implications have me curious.

[Pepperkorn]

Players are fvcked up now. Sign for 5 years at 50m you'll be fine for the next 5. Seriously. The CBA really made these guys just ram it up their own bungholes but hard...

That was an addendum. I'm really retired now

[NJDevs4978]

Can lou hire JP for any kind of jobs in the organization? Haha

Lou signs Zach to 10 year, 5 million deal
He signs JP to a 20 year, 100 million deal as a 'special assignment coach'
League takes away our next ten drafts for violating the spirit of the CBA

[Devilsfan118]

Sorry, but I just found this from last season, thought it was also pretty relevant now (hopefully!):

[sundstrom]

Welcome to Fantasy Land:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Zach Parise ($7.000m) / Travis Zajac ($3.888m) / Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.667m)
Adam Henrique ($0.854m) / Patrik Elias ($6.000m) / Dainius Zubrus ($3.400m)
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jacob Josefson ($0.900m) / David Clarkson ($2.667m)
Ryan Carter ($0.775m) / Stephen Gionta ($0.563m) / Steve Bernier ($0.775m)
Cam Janssen ($0.575m) /
DEFENSEMEN
Ryan Suter ($7.000m) / Marek Zidlicky ($4.000m)
Henrik Tallinder ($3.375m) / Mark Fayne ($2.250m)
Bryce Salvador ($3.167m) / Adam Larsson ($0.925m)
Peter Harrold ($0.525m)
GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
Johan Hedberg ($1.400m)
BUYOUTS
Colin White ($1.000m) / Trent Hunter ($0.667m) / Eric Boulton ($0.163m)
------
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $64,558,333; BONUSES: $887,500
CAP SPACE (22-man roster): $5,641,667

sign both parise and suter to 12/84 deals
deal greene + tedenby + 2nd for paajarvi
deal volchenkov for non NHL assets

thank the NJ lotto for making sure that JVB's ticket was the winner and brainwash Suter that even though he is a farm boy that wants to be out west that he can spend all the time he wants at Alstede Farms and have 100 acres in Chester

[TheMazz]

Question: How does anyone expect to sign Parise, Suter AND re-sign other core pieces such as Zajac and even Henrique?

[Chuck the Duck]

Welcome to Fantasy Land:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Zach Parise ($7.000m) / Travis Zajac ($3.888m) / Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.667m)
Adam Henrique ($0.854m) / Patrik Elias ($6.000m) / Dainius Zubrus ($3.400m)
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jacob Josefson ($0.900m) / David Clarkson ($2.667m)
Ryan Carter ($0.775m) / Stephen Gionta ($0.563m) / Steve Bernier ($0.775m)
Cam Janssen ($0.575m) /
DEFENSEMEN
Ryan Suter ($7.000m) / Marek Zidlicky ($4.000m)
Henrik Tallinder ($3.375m) / Mark Fayne ($2.250m)
Bryce Salvador ($3.167m) / Adam Larsson ($0.925m)
Peter Harrold ($0.525m)
GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
Johan Hedberg ($1.400m)
BUYOUTS
Colin White ($1.000m) / Trent Hunter ($0.667m) / Eric Boulton ($0.163m)
------
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $64,558,333; BONUSES: $887,500
CAP SPACE (22-man roster): $5,641,667

sign both parise and suter to 12/84 deals
deal greene + tedenby + 2nd for paajarvi
deal volchenkov for non NHL assets

thank the NJ lotto for making sure that JVB's ticket was the winner and brainwash Suter that even though he is a farm boy that wants to be out west that he can spend all the time he wants at Alstede Farms and have 100 acres in Chester

Not going to happen, but that would be f'ing epic.

[sundstrom]

Question: How does anyone expect to sign Parise, Suter AND re-sign other core pieces such as Zajac and even Henrique?

the zajac/elias money could conceivably stay pretty close with a redistribution weighing heavier to travis. henrique and clarkson would go up - zubrus would probably stay about the same. zidlicky's $ is gone. again - in my fantasy world.

[CarpathianForest]

Welcome to Fantasy Land:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Zach Parise ($7.000m) / Travis Zajac ($3.888m) / Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.667m)
Adam Henrique ($0.854m) / Patrik Elias ($6.000m) / Dainius Zubrus ($3.400m)
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jacob Josefson ($0.900m) / David Clarkson ($2.667m)
Ryan Carter ($0.775m) / Stephen Gionta ($0.563m) / Steve Bernier ($0.775m)
Cam Janssen ($0.575m) /
DEFENSEMEN
Ryan Suter ($7.000m) / Marek Zidlicky ($4.000m)
Henrik Tallinder ($3.375m) / Mark Fayne ($2.250m)
Bryce Salvador ($3.167m) / Adam Larsson ($0.925m)
Peter Harrold ($0.525m)
GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
Johan Hedberg ($1.400m)
BUYOUTS
Colin White ($1.000m) / Trent Hunter ($0.667m) / Eric Boulton ($0.163m)
------
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $64,558,333; BONUSES: $887,500
CAP SPACE (22-man roster): $5,641,667

sign both parise and suter to 12/84 deals
deal greene + tedenby + 2nd for paajarvi
deal volchenkov for non NHL assets

thank the NJ lotto for making sure that JVB's ticket was the winner and brainwash Suter that even though he is a farm boy that wants to be out west that he can spend all the time he wants at Alstede Farms and have 100 acres in Chester

Who do you think we are the new York Rangers, Philly Flyers or Pittsburgh Penguins?!?!?!

[Devilsfan118]

Welcome to Fantasy Land:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Zach Parise ($7.000m) / Travis Zajac ($3.888m) / Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.667m)
Adam Henrique ($0.854m) / Patrik Elias ($6.000m) / Dainius Zubrus ($3.400m)
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jacob Josefson ($0.900m) / David Clarkson ($2.667m)
Ryan Carter ($0.775m) / Stephen Gionta ($0.563m) / Steve Bernier ($0.775m)
Cam Janssen ($0.575m) /
DEFENSEMEN
Ryan Suter ($7.000m) / Marek Zidlicky ($4.000m)
Henrik Tallinder ($3.375m) / Mark Fayne ($2.250m)
Bryce Salvador ($3.167m) / Adam Larsson ($0.925m)
Peter Harrold ($0.525m)
GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
Johan Hedberg ($1.400m)
BUYOUTS
Colin White ($1.000m) / Trent Hunter ($0.667m) / Eric Boulton ($0.163m)
------
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $64,558,333; BONUSES: $887,500
CAP SPACE (22-man roster): $5,641,667

sign both parise and suter to 12/84 deals
deal greene + tedenby + 2nd for paajarvi
deal volchenkov for non NHL assets

thank the NJ lotto for making sure that JVB's ticket was the winner and brainwash Suter that even though he is a farm boy that wants to be out west that he can spend all the time he wants at Alstede Farms and have 100 acres in Chester

Edited by Devilsfan118, 03 July 2012 - 11:19 PM.

[thelastonealive]

Welcome to Fantasy Land:

CAPGEEK.COM USER GENERATED ROSTER
My Custom Lineup
FORWARDS
Zach Parise ($7.000m) / Travis Zajac ($3.888m) / Ilya Kovalchuk ($6.667m)
Adam Henrique ($0.854m) / Patrik Elias ($6.000m) / Dainius Zubrus ($3.400m)
Magnus Paajarvi ($1.525m) / Jacob Josefson ($0.900m) / David Clarkson ($2.667m)
Ryan Carter ($0.775m) / Stephen Gionta ($0.563m) / Steve Bernier ($0.775m)
Cam Janssen ($0.575m) /
DEFENSEMEN
Ryan Suter ($7.000m) / Marek Zidlicky ($4.000m)
Henrik Tallinder ($3.375m) / Mark Fayne ($2.250m)
Bryce Salvador ($3.167m) / Adam Larsson ($0.925m)
Peter Harrold ($0.525m)
GOALTENDERS
Martin Brodeur ($4.500m)
Johan Hedberg ($1.400m)
BUYOUTS
Colin White ($1.000m) / Trent Hunter ($0.667m) / Eric Boulton ($0.163m)
------
CAPGEEK.COM TOTALS (follow @capgeek on Twitter)
(these totals are compiled without the bonus cushion)
SALARY CAP: $70,200,000; CAP PAYROLL: $64,558,333; BONUSES: $887,500
CAP SPACE (22-man roster): $5,641,667

sign both parise and suter to 12/84 deals
deal greene + tedenby + 2nd for paajarvi
deal volchenkov for non NHL assets

thank the NJ lotto for making sure that JVB's ticket was the winner and brainwash Suter that even though he is a farm boy that wants to be out west that he can spend all the time he wants at Alstede Farms and have 100 acres in Chester

That lineup makes me all kinda of tingly in special places.

...I need to go to bed.

[devilsrule33]

@Russostrib
Zach Parise tells @joshrimerhockey that he's talked to Lou Lamoriello two, three, sometimes four times a day throughout process

In the Toronto Office

Lou: So just take all the time you want. Without question this is a life-changing decision. Certainly, you shouldn't rush it. I'll give you all the time in the world, and if you need anything...anything at all, feel free to call me, be it 3PM or 3AM.

Zach: Alright Lou. Thank you again for your offer and your time today.

As Lou is leaving...

Lou: Wait! Forgot to give you my 2nd cell number. Old forgetful Lou. Getting up there in age....I mean ahhh I feel great, I really do. Not going to retire anytime soon...hahaah. Me, Mr. Vanderbeek, Marty, Johan. We're in for the long haul. And again, there's no money problems here. Mr. Vanderbeek has tons of money. Don't believe me? Watch this. (Lou takes 10 crisp $100 bills out of his wallet and lights them on fire with his lighter) See? Just burnt $1000 cash. Not a big deal because we have lots more where that came from. (As Zach turns around Lou feverishly stomps out the burning bills and scoops the remnants up in to a zip-lock bag and throws it in his pocket) Rememeber you can call anyyyytime!!! I won't be sleeping!!!

Zach: (getting really annoyed) Okay...I get it Lou.

45 min later Zach's phone rings

Lou: Hey Zach, so sorry to bother you, but did I forget my raincoat in the room?

Zach: I don't know, I'll go check now.

Lou: I really really don't want to be a bother to you, so let me just come down there and look for myself. You won't even see me.

Zach: No! I just looked. It's not here, and to be honest I don't really remember you coming in with a raincoat in the first place. I'm in the middle of an important meeting now anyway.

Lou: ahhh that's weird. Well call me!

Zach hangs up the phone and rolls his eyes

3 hours later Zach receives a text

Lou: Guess who's back. Back again. Salvy's back. Tell a friend.

Zach: Oh cool.

Lou: ahah I know, but seriously don't tell a friend or anyone. I don't want any leaks. Just wait for the Devils to announce it.

Zach: It's already on TSN.ca

Lou: fvck!

Lou: Anyway, Had to overpay and give him an extra year, but totally worth it for your BFF!

Zach: Since when have you known how to text?

Lou: Haha. I know it's crazy right? Chris just taught me. This is so much fun! G2G TTYL

3 hours later Zach's phone rings with a call from Lou

Voice from the other end: THREW ONE IN FRONT. IT'S BLOCKED THERE. SCRAMBLE FOR IT. THEY POKE AWAY AT IT. STILL IT'S LOSE. POKED AT BY KOVALCHUK. THEY SCORE!!! HENRIQUE!!! IT'S OVER!!!

Zach: Lou?

Lou: Ahh, hey Zach. Uncle Lou here. Just randomly came across this clip. Remember? Devils-Rangers? Game 6? OT? Eastern Conference Champions? Haha, but you already knew that. Good times. Good times.

Zach: Yes they were Lou. I'm in the middle of dinner though, so I'll talk to you again when we have a decision. (Hangs up)

5 minutes later the phone rings again from Lou's number but Zach puts it straight to voicemail. It then rings again from a blocked number, and Zach answers it.

Lou: Oh sorry Zach. I screwed up. I feel terrible. I should have played a clip from a goal you scored. fvck fvck fvck. I'm so sorry. I don't think Henrique's better than you or the future of the team. It's all you baby. You want Henrique traded? Okay it's done. He's gone. It was just such a big goal and such a huge moment in franchise history. I just have that on tape recorder that I taped straight from the TV. I couldn't get a clip from you online on such short notice. I have no clue how that works and Chris is out busy surely locking up Vladimir Zharkov to a new deal. It's pretty much done. Boy has never let me down.......so I couldn't ask him on such short notice. Please don't be mad at me!

Zach: If you call me one more fvcking time, I will announce the Devils are out of the running, and I'll go to Pittsburgh, or Minny, or Detroit, or Philly, or Chicago or whoever else is rumoured on Twitter. I'll even call up the Rangers and ask to sign with them. End of story (Hangs up the phone).

Lou: Well that's not good. I fvcked up big time. Oh well..I know what'll cheer me up. (Opens his door to find his secretary) Linda! Get me Eric Godard's agent on the phone immediately.

Edited by devilsrule33, 04 July 2012 - 07:41 AM.

[Onddeck]

I'll have what he's having

[Devilsfan118]

In the Toronto Office
...

This...is.....AWESOME. This whole thing, seriously hilarious, I'm dying here. POD!

This should win a board award. I don't know what award..but..yeah. Get on it guys

Edited by Devilsfan118, 03 July 2012 - 11:28 PM.

[Zubie#8]

That really gave me a good laugh, thanks for that.