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Summer Hockey Twitter Topics


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#1 MDPucks

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Posted 24 July 2012 - 07:17 PM

Because its the offseason and endless CBA, Parise, and Flyer/Rangers transaction talk is frankly depressing this little ditty appeared as a trending topic this morning on Twitter.

Fair Warning: Topic at minimum is rated PG-13/R and might be NSFW although there's zero pictures but its hillarious.

https://twitter.com/#!/search/%23HockeyPlayerSexPositions
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#2 Neb00rs

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 08:05 AM

#HockeyPlayerSexPositions Todd bertuzzi - Hitting her from behind so she can't walk for a week



#HockeyPlayerSexPositions undressing her three times before putting it in - the Datsyuk



#HockeyPlayerSexPositions Slapping her in the temple with your shaft and knocking her out - The Marty McSorley



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Edited by ben00rs, 25 July 2012 - 08:06 AM.

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#3 msweet

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 12:53 PM

I added mine

I've stopped more dudes from getting it in behind me than anyone: The Martin Broduer

https://twitter.com/...186145341710336
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"Quite frankly, all the players are getting paid too much and all the contracts are too long," general manager Lou Lamoriello said. "But if you want to compete in this market and you want to win, there are some things you have to do."


#4 bobilly45

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 01:19 PM

i dont have twitter so i cant tweet this but heres mine:
going deeper and deeper till she chokes - the luongo

Edited by bobilly45, 25 July 2012 - 01:19 PM.

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#5 Pepperkorn

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Posted 25 July 2012 - 01:47 PM

dude -- she doesn't choke - that's the point. He can't rise to the occasion. Making a woman choke on your big thrusting cock is powerful to a man, right? (oh dear, I hope that wasn't offensive :unsure: <_<) Luongo can't keep it hard - the dude who tweeted someone else has to finish was on the mark.

So many of those tweets are trying so hard to be funny about what a player does to a woman, they miss the hysterical failings of the men they're razzing.
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#6 Jmorc2003

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 07:59 AM

This is a fun thread

Wearing extra layers of oversized protection just to make sure you don't catch anything. The Lundqvist

Getting sloppy drunk and insulting the girl to her face while you're doing it. The Kaner
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#7 Jmorc2003

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 10:31 AM

Hooking up in another country, then bolting before anyone realizes how underwhelming your performance actually was. -The Radulov.
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#8 sammyk

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 10:49 AM

Damn, OK, way to get all graphic and stuff.
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#9 Neb00rs

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 11:35 AM

Never doing it at all - The Hugh Jessiman
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#10 PWW

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 05:18 PM

Breaking an epic dry spell that was so memorable that people will talk about it for years...then following it up with another dry spell - The Rangers franchise
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#11 Jmorc2003

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 05:56 PM

Leaving your girlfriend to double team a girl you knew in high school with your best bud. - The Parise
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