Week 6 starts out with an ugly whimper in Tennessee, but there are some awesome games on the slate….
I’m just going to get to this, before this becomes a ten page tirade of how much I hate Rodger Goodell and
how he’s the worst commish in sports (yes worse then Bettman)…..anyway….moving on……
Thursday Oct 11:
Steelers at Titans:
There is no reason on God’s Green (and Blue, they always forget the Blue dammit) Earth to sit down and commit three hours to watch this horrible football game…well maybe to see Matt Hasselbeck have flashbacks to when the Seahawks got screwed in a Super Bowl to the Steelers (and hey, that was the “Real Refs” *eyeroll*)….the Titans are simply horrific….Chris Johnson can barely sprint to the bathroom at this point without 3 linebackers plastering him….yes the Steelers are shorthanded in this one, but it doesn’t matter….maybe Johnson gets up to 50 yards rushing today (he probably will, I benched him which is the only time he saw three figures rushing…), either way, give me Ben and 5 pylons standing in front of him as “linemen” and I’d still take Pittsburgh in this one….
Winner: Steelers
Game Quality: DUD (I should go to hockey clinic tonight….)
Sunday Oct 7.:
1pm:
Dallas at Ravens:
Boy the odds are against the Cowboys here ain’t they?? Ravens won 13 in a tow at home…the Cowboys are 0-3 against the Ravens….the Dallas offense has been horrid, it’s in Baltimore…the deck is totally stacked ain’t it?? Man Dallas should have taken an extra bye week….the Cowboys don’t block no one, the WRs suck…I can go on here….and this is without even mentioning much about the Purple Haze isn’t it?? Well I told him first and I’ll do it here…MANTA…I’M CALLING YOU OUT SUCKA!!! SUN TAVERN, 1pm SUNDAY…..DO IT!!!!! And not only that…the last time I saw NO CHANCE IN HELL the Cowboys would win a game….it was the season opener….the Cowboys showed up for that game….and in honor of getting a chance to watch this one in spectacular 3-D manta VISION…..WE ARE TAKING YOU DOWN BOY!!!!!
Winner: Dallas (yes REALLY)
Game Quality: **** (I’m adding a star assuming Manta responds to his call-out
)St. Louis at Miami:
Heh, it’s the Jeff Fisher “coulda/shoulda/woulda Bowl”…and I don’t think Miami fans can complain about the coaching staff they have….they play tough D, they don’t allow a lot of rushing…they get to the QB, the O-Line is playing well….they are running the ball and even Tanehill is starting to grow up a little….people are high on the Rams and I understand that….but I think the Dolphins match up pretty well here…add in the home field and better QB play….I do like Miami here….as long as they don’t gotta kick field goals they’ll be golden!
Winner: Miami
Game Quality: ** ¾ (I’m really kinda into this one….even though I kinda brushed past this….)
Detroit at Phily:
Are there two more bizarre and underwhelming teams in the NFL now then these two? Probably not….the Eagles are a smoke n mirrors 3-2..and the Lions are a mess…the only offense they have is Stafford to Calvin…they don’t run the ball well…the defense is BAD (GMs are saying under their breath how overrated Suh is) ...the special teams are worse, this just reeks of a poorly coached team not going anywhere…and maybe they’re not…the best case you can make for the Lions this week is Michael Vick’s Christian-nature….what do I mean? He’s giving the football to EVERYONE! The Eagles only have 7 sacks…so they ain’t getting to anyone…and this could be a comedy of errors…but it also can be the EXACT game the Lions needed to get back on track…
Winner: Lions
Game Quality: *** (this could be amazing…or a total cluster….)
Cincinnati at Cleveland:
Believe it or not, this one has high scoring written all over it….Joss Whedon has been getting better as the Cleveland QB, almost 1300 passing yards, and has thrown TD passes in 3 of his last 4 games (for a Cleveland QB, that’s hall of fame worthy)….the Bengals D has been pretty spotty this year (over 25 points a game)…which is just as awful as the Browns defense….these two combined for 61 points just 3 weeks ago…and no reason to see this one as any different….or a different result for that fact (there’s a reason I picked up Weeden this week after all, well besides not trusting Culter…or Dumbo….), this should be deemed anti-football just for old time’s sake!
Winner: Bengals
Game Quality: *** ¾ (try it…you’ll like it!)
Colts at NY Jets:
The Colts showed a LOT last week in coming back against Green Bay when no one but those 53 guys on the roster could have seen that coming…the Jets on the other hand threw every trick, gimmick, gadget, the kitchen sink and the Ryan Family in-laws at Houston…and STILL lost…when you blow your wad like that and still come up short…that team HAS to be thinking “now what? …how do we pull one out now??” While it’s VERY hard to see an NFL team lose three in a row at home (Cleveland can, they’re still not NFL yet…)….but there’s an emotional letdown…when you do everything you can but beat the other team down with kendo sticks…how do you come back and try to win “normally” (I listen a lot to NFL Radio on XM in the car and every player they have hosting says time and time again, when the coach sticks to gimmicks and trickery the players take it as they’re saying “we can’t win normally”…I tend to agree with this statement)…it’s very difficult to see how the Jets pull this out, unless maybe the Colts are emotionally spent from last week…..
Winner: Colts
Game Quality: * ½ (look at the rest of the 1pm games and you’ll groan at this)
Chiefs at Tampa:
Did I mention anti-football??? Hells YEAH….Did I mention Brady Quinn (an anti-football Hall of Famer!!)….Hell yesh!!! Josh Freeman…..oh yeah!! This has disaster-ball written all over it!!! Then again, how much have you given up on life as a Chiefs fan when you’re HAPPY to see Brady Quinn under center? Oi….the only legit football thing to look at in this game is how is Jamaal Charles going to do against a fairly decent Tampa defense….but I expect Charles to do his thing somewhat….this might be a 9-7 kinda football game….though I’d love to see someone harpoon Freeman as he takes the knee at the end of this game, because picking Brady Quinn to win a football game would stain my soul for decades….and I have family members who will do that for me….heh….
Winner: Tampa Bay
Game Quality: Anti-Football GEM <3
Oakland at Atlanta:
Oh boy…this one just reeks of ugly….Darren McFadden seems stuck in neutral this season (a mere 50 yards a game)…It must be all the 8-man fronts…which explains why Carson Palmer looks ok this season too (61%, 5 TDs and only 2 INTs)….but whatever it is (also the lack of quality WR options)….and a terrible defense (31 ppg)….you can see why the Raiders are pretty bad…while the Falcons dodged a big Redskin bullet and gutted out an impressive win (once they took RG III outta the game)…now the Falcons are home, and the Raiders gotta come cross-country….this is a recipe for an ass kicking….and probably the game Julio Jones breaks out and gets ridiculous….
Winner: Atlanta
Game Quality: DUD (this is gonna be rough)
4pm:
New England at Seattle:
My original plan after the Green Bay game was to pick the Seahawks to win all their home games and lose all their road games….then they played Carolina and screwed all that up….this is a strength vs strength and weakness vs weakness type of game…the pats offense should be able to spread around and pick apart the Seattle D…but then again, Green Bay was supposed to also….and Russell Wilson has only so many miracle Hail Mary’s in him…not to mention New England can (FINALLY) run the damn ball and that’s more balance then Seattle’s seen all year….and as much as I like Seattle and what they are doing…the Pats run game and balance is gonna be too much for the young ‘Hawks and once they go down 10 points this thing is OVER…..
Winner: Patriots
Game Quality: *** (Seattle D vs Pats O should be awesome)
Bills at Arizona:
This is actually gonna be an interesting lil match-up….two of the league’s most overrated teams going at it (one because of record, the other cause we ALL fell for the vintage “Buffalo Trap”….how’s that Mario Williams thing working out?? Man I do remember that phone call from Earthquake-ville gloating about this….he’s ALL yours sir!!)…if there was EVER a week the Buffalo Front Four was going to show up and do something (well besides cashing their bloated paychecks)…THIS is the week….Arizona’s down to their tenth-string running back, Kevin Kolb gets sacked at home making breakfast…and it’s about time the Cardinals start crashing and burning and doing my favorite Owen Hart dive off the rafters back to where they should be…and crazy as it sounds, the Bills are actually BETTER….and they gotta have this one, this is really a classic “now or never” game for the Bills…plus it should bring back fond memories making Kevin Kolb do his classic Rob Johnson impression!
Winner: Bills
Game Quality: ***
Vikings at Washington:
Opposed to the Cardinals….it’s time to give the Vikings credit here, Christian Ponder was the last starting QB to throw an INT this season (and he threw 2…heh)..he’s still bee pretty efficient…and whatever Adrian Peterson is on to heal his busted knee…damn I want it!! Their front four makes plays and shuts down other teams (maybe the Lions should watch the Viking film instead of their own…)…well-coached… solid play….few mistakes…that’s a pretty good winning formula in this messed up NFL….now Washington on the other hand….injuries….youthful miscues…and now a RG III seeing lil birdies in his head….and if he can’t go, it’s “Kissing Cousins” time (which is fitting consider the Redneck Redskin fans I know….heh)…that’s not a good formula for the Redskins….I don’t know when the Vikings are going to be challenged again (not like they didn’t beat you know….San Fran…or anyone like that…)….but they pull this one out this week…. 5-1 indeed…..
Winner: Vikings
Game Quality: * ¾ (just not feeling this one….)
NY Giants at 49ers:
We all know the story here….and the decades of rivalry behind it….we don’t need go into that….we’re also pretty well-informed (ok I might over-estimate my readership here…) on the Giants injury situation…but it’s ugly….the front four’s been kinda ineffective and the guys playing D-Back for the Giants now may have to try out as NHL Replacement Players in the next month….the Niners are healthy, and a running MACHINE right now….if you’re not taking a handoff from the 49er offense you just ain’t cool right now….and they’re pounding teams for over 200 yards a game (alright 196.2, screw you its close enough!)…it would be interesting to see Alex Smith down by 4 have to march this team down the field through the air (they have the weapons to do it)….and if the Giants were at full strength I’d see that as more likely….this will be intense….it will be a battle….but the Niners are healthier and just better…..
Winner: 49ers
Game Quality: ****
8pm:
Packers at Houston:
Hey this is a pretty damn good football game (and going up against TNA Bound for Glory too…grrr….decisions….), the Texicans are playing as good as anyone out there, and have the #3 offense in the league (in the one stat I care about…POINTS), the #4 defense and have been pretty much beating up on everyone they’ve played….a small odd stat…the Texans have defended 36 passes…and half of them may have been JJ Watt last week, heh…the Packers on the other hand HAVE to be desperate…the NFC Central is slipping away from them, the Wild Card is gonna be a battle, and they just find more and more absurd ways to lose games (up 21-3 on the Colts?? Seriously….), maybe the Benson injury is a blessing in disguise for the Packers (not like he’s been bad or anything, but maybe Alex Green fits their offense better…wacky name puns aside), and the Packers are gonna bring their A-game this week….I’m going with the desperate team….even though Greg Jennings won’t be seeing his “Douggie smile” (possibly the one single greatest commercial of all time….)…and no way is Houston going 16-0
Winner: Packers
Game Quality: **** (the Saints may suck but they are a FUN suck)
Monday Oct. 15:
Denver at San Diego:
It’s amazing how many Peyton Manning apologists there are out there…. “it’s not his fault”….”the team is adjusting to him”….”he’s still not 100%”…blah blah blah…it’s typical Peyton though…..the bigger the game, the smaller he gets…that’s fine and all, it just annoys me that people call him an all-time great when all time greats show up in the big spot….and what the HELL happened to that awesome Denver defense? Amazing what happens when you become pass-happy and the D is on the field more…San Diego had the Saints up against it last week and took their foot off the gas (though least it was a game against the NFC, if you’re gonna lose, lose outside the conference…)…maybe this is a bad omen for the Chargers (plus I admit I am a little partial to this team), and I’m down on Denver…this year…that’s a dangerous combination for picking games…but I gotta still stick to my intuition…after all coin tosses and opposite picks didn’t work….and the Chargers did have a habit of slapping Peyton around when he was in Indy…..
Winner: Chargers
Game Quality: **** (Rivers vs Peyton is always good)
NFL Power Rankings Week 5:
AFC:
- Houston…thank you Arian Foster J
- Baltimore….9-6?!?!?! Really?!?! REALLY!?!?!?!
- New England…see, handoffs are cool too!!!
- Cincinnati…one of only 5 teams over .500 in the AFC….
- San Diego…the 5th team, and somehow in First Place…..
NFC:
- Atlanta….gutty win last week, showed something….
- 49ers….another AFC East ass-kicking…..
- Minnesota…why not? They’re playing DAMN good….
- Chicago….even Jay Cutler smiled last week….
- NY Giants…better then Phily…even though they lost to ‘em….
