Week 7 begins as most of these weeks do….a mediocre (nice word for crappy) schedule on tap this week….but did you know the Colts are hosting Peyton Manning in his return to his old stomping ground?? I mean not like anyone mentions this like every 90 seconds…there’s a few other good games this week and a TON of inter-divisional matchups as we come to the meat and potatoes part of the season!!!
Thursday Oct 17:
Seattle at Arizona:
So I was watching NFL AM this morning (what am I gonna do…watch Sportscenter?) and they have this segment called ‘naux your role with Justin Babenaux…and he goes on and on about how the Chiefs beat the crowd noise record Seattle set against the 49ers and how they gotta win it back tonight on Thursday Night Football….small problem…THE GAME IS IN ARIZONA IDIOT!!! KNOW YOUR ROLE *pfbbttt*….asshat! Anyway….some football thoughts here…Seattle is 1 for their last 7 in the desert, but Pete Carroll is 6-1 in prime time games as a coach….(Arizona was 0-2 and got killed a combined 41-6 in those two games also…wheeee stats!!)….and just to back the stats with some facts too….Arizona doesn’t protect the QB and can’t run the ball well….Seattle eats WRs alive, stuffs the run and makes the QB screw up….Carson Palmer doesn’t need much help there, and Seattle needs to keep rolling to stay pace with the Saints…who also are on a bye this week….good for Seattle, this bye gets you into the W column…..
Game Quality: ** ¾ (Just the Fitz vs Sherm matchup will be fun and I love seeing Carson Palmer get pummeled)
Sunday Oct 20:
Tampa Bay at Atlanta:
Is there a more desperate team then the Falcons now??? They begged Gonzo to come back for one more year and a chance at a Super Bowl….shame for Mr Gonzalez they meant that they bought some tickets and matching winter jackets to sit in the stands in the frozen nothing-ness this Feburary…haaa… oh yeah…there’s the Bucs…winless, clueless and now maybe the beginnings of the Zombie Apocalypse with this disease running rampant in the facility….oh wait…no it’s just that Schiano is still there….as much as the Falcons are a flawed mess (and maybe the worst team on 4th and short in NFL history, it’s probably cost them two wins already this year)…and all the injuries….and bad defense…..they’re still better then Tampa on the road…just circle Atlanta in your pool and run the hell away from this one before you catch Schiano-it is….
Game Quality: * (not exactly an NFL replay candidate…)
Rams at Panthers:
A matchup of two teams miserable to figure out, one week the Rams are getting rolled by Dallas, the next week they rolled the Texans (given a big chunk of this is that Gary Kubiak can’t figure out pressing the ball with Tate and Foster is better than the pick 6 trio of DOOM at QB for them…. #InsertFireTheCoachRantHere)…and the Panthers…left for dead after that awful showing in Arizona, now seem back in it after thumping the Vikings in Minnesota (and with Atlanta coming apart at the seams, the Panthers probably are the second best team in the NFC South now)…both teams have awesome front 7’s…the Panthers have a better offense….wow….DeAngelo Williams is averaging 4.3 a carry…damn…sCam can at least get the ball to his receivers….the Rams are struggling at all of that…enter new RB…Zac Stacy (Jesus sounds like a WWF Jobber’s name from Wrestling Challenge)….its hard to trust either team…but I like the pieces that Carolina has more….and home field….I’ll stick with that….
Game Quality: **
Bengals at Lions:
Calvin Johnson is beat up….Suh is getting fined again…all seems normal in Detroit eh?? (though funny that my Madden 12 find of the century in Kris Durham is making the most of his chance playing across from Calvin (hey a 6’6’’ dude who can catch…ya I’m in on that!)….but the Lions defense is weak where the Bengals are strongest (the Lions are allowing 5.4 yards per rush…oi)….and this is what the Bengals need to do, since Andy Dalton popped his Madden-Cheat last week to hold off the Bills…..the AFC has been beating up the NFC in head to head games so far…and this might be closer then I first expected it to be when I was thinking about this game….but if Calvin is healthy I can’t see the Bengals D slowing down the Lions offense (they’ve also done an excellent job in protecting Stafford and letting Reggie Bush do his thing)….Lions are unbeaten at home, and I still have my doubts about Marvin Lewis and his team in a big spot…plus Suh needs his weekly NFL fineable hit….maybe he should just borrow Brandon Marshall’s shoes??
Game Quality: *** (not name value but potential)
Chargers at Jaguars:
The Chargers are another “up and down” team that is hard to figure out….Phillip Rivers is having a pretty damn good comeback year here in this new system and new coaching staff….Ryan Matthews is still kinda healthy (dumb sideline dives when trying to run the clock out)…Antonio Gates is still a weapon add in Keenan Allen and you can see why this is the 5th rank offense in the league….and then you have Parts Unknown, they don’t do nothing right….hell even England doesn’t want them….no QB, no hope at all there….they might win one by accident this year….it ain’t this one….
Winner: Any team playing the Jaguars shall be victorious!
Game Quality: DUD (no love for Parts Unknown!)
Bills at Miami:
A good division rivalry here….Thad Lewis saw Matt Flynn sign with the Bills and he learned the magic formula….seems like anytime a mobile, black QB unseats Flynn from the starting job and he becomes a star (Russell Wilson and Terelle Pryor say hi!), so he hurries his ass up to get healthy to play this week….the bad news is he’s going against a pretty rough Miami defense that can get to the QB or least push them into mistakes (only 13 sacks…I expected that number to be higher)…the Bills lost a standard heartbreaker last week….down 14 and Lewis rallies to tie….only to have the defense not hold up in overtime and the field goal ices it…this seems to be the Bills MO for like…a decade….add in a crappy in-AFC East record for the Bills…and I just can’t see it happening, sometimes trends matter more than matchups….I think this is one of those times….it’s really bad when the first thing my GF asks me after how are you is usually “how did the Bills do??” …oh…poor Sanborn…you talk him off the ledge yet?? This seems to be a weekly habit….sorry about yo’ damn luck bud….maybe Miami can fake a running game this week (I could rant for twenty minutes on the crap O-Line play from the Dolphins)….this is a toss-up game…almost…..
Game Quality: ** ¾
Patriots at NY Jets:
You know, people are giving Rob Ryan too much sh!t for the Pats winning that game last week (and no this isn’t gonna be me kissing Brady’s ass, and the Saints are off this week and I needed to get this out)….that high-powered Saints offense had the ball TWICE with 2:46 to go in the game….ZERO first downs, and a chip shot FG set up on the interception (hrrmm, defense doing its job)….give Tom Brady THREE times in the last 3:00 and he’s gonna beat any defense….offense needs to find a way to get some first downs and end the damn game…..anyway….back to your normally scheduled preview….the Jets had the classic letdown game last week and let the Steelers sniff the sweet air of victory! While the Pats took their lil blankie and smothered the Saints like a small baby in the crib like I just ranted about…..I know Mayo is out, Wolfork is done….Talib may not be playing …but like I just said about Miami and Buffalo…the Pats make a living winning games like this and its too good a trend to even try to fight….plus when I have to pick between Brady and Geno Smith…how can I not take Brady?? This might be another sh!t show like the Thursday nighter was…..maybe Gronk will finally show up and make this damn game interesting?? I doubt it though
Game Quality: ** (can it be worse than the Thursday Night disaster was?? Ack!)
Cowboys at Eagles:
Nick Foles has come in the last two games and done a heck of a job for the Eagles…he’s more accurate then Vick is….and amazingly Riley Cooper is catching TD passes now (anyone wanna call coincidence that the white guy is throwing the ball and he’s catching it?)…it’s also good to see that the Eagles have slowed it down on offense and realized Warp Speed is NOT the way to go anymore….and add on top of this…the glorious icing on the cake…they showed up Schiano’s idiot “bum rush the QB on the kneel down play” by taking a knee from a shotgun!!! That’s amazing to me!!! See this is how a college coach steps up to big boy football!! And then on the other hand….we have the Cowboys….stepping up from key injuries…big plays on offense….Dumbo’s being Dumbo again…and I mean the good Dumbo this time…. Dez Bryant is a factor in every game and the 3rd receiver is making big plays….and even the off the street RBs and D-Line guys are making good plays….Gods help me….are the Cowboys actually being a well-coached machine??? If they are, they win this one and put a foothold on the NFC East….in all reality this game should end in a tie so that no one in the division is over .500….don’t tell Donovan McNabb that
Game Quality: *** ½ (Dumbo vs Foles = shootout!)
Bears at Redskins:
This game does bring back anti-football moments of glory from the past! But that’s not for this week…the Redskins are pretty much on life support (to be generous)…the running game is making improvements, Griffin is still spotty (and again, maybe Shanahan should have been a bit smarter and let Kirk Cousins play week one or two while Griffin was getting healthy and back into football form and now it’s really bit them in the ass…)….the Bears got a nice “feel more betterer” win against the Giants last week (I know…who doesn’t this year??) and while their offense isn’t setting the NFL on fire…it’s certainly getting the job done….the defense gives up yards, but it takes the ball away…the Redskins defense only gets the ball back to its offense after the kickoff and points have been scored…I am pulling for RG 3 to get better (I can relate to the knee injury now more than ever)….but it’s not there this week….time to start the fire Shanahan rumors
Game Quality: **
49ers at Titans:
This is gonna be a fun game….two in your face VERY hard-nosed football teams that line up and punch you in the face as many times as possible during a game…also both teams also have stinky QB’s who make a lot of mistakes and can only make plays in limited ways (I’m still not sold on Kapernick, shut down Davis and put a pylon on Boldin and he’s kinda useless too…..and we’ve all seen the turnover factory we call Fitzpatrick), this game feels a lot like the Seattle game to me (minus the injured kicker)…and if this game wasn’t in Seattle I really think the Titans might have pulled this one off….hell they almost did anyway…..and I do see Seattle as a lil better then the Niners…add in some home cooking and you might have a holy sh!t moment by 7pm-ish…I’d feel a LOT better about this game if Jake Locker was in the game…and Kenny Britt wasn’t….but sometimes you gotta show some balls and make the crazy pick!!!
Winner: Titans (UPSET SPECIAL!)
Game Quality: ***
Texicans at Chiefs:
Today the Houston play “the pick-6 is right!!” Our next contestant: Case Keenum…. CMON DOWN!!!! Lets see if he actually learns this new football technique called the HANDOFF and uses his two big backs to his advantage….dropping back and throwing falls right into what the Chiefs want, and if any team needs a nice simple managed game to make their defense feel better….its the Texans right now….no turnovers, lots of safe smart accurate plays to the guys in the RIGHT JERSEY….least it’s a road game, and no one will show up at his house with rage and pitchforks….or cheer if he gets hurt…but all that hope and promise aside…the Chiefs are too good (even though their passing game is too short-range for my liking), and they don’t make mistakes…and Jamaal Charles is playing like an MVP Candidate too…..its the right idea in Houston…just the WRONG week for it….
Game Quality: ***
Browns at Packers:
The Packers had a gutty win last week against the Ravens….they survived being down to only 2 receivers and let Eddie Lacy carry the mail…the defense stepped up without Clay Matthews in the game…and A-Rod was just A-Rod….but the Browns have a tighter defense then the Ravens do and short Cobb and probably James Jones is gonna be a tough haul…. The Browns play good defense and control the game and pray Joss Weedon doesn’t get killed back there (he really is Bernie Kosar 2.0, minus the drunken announcer comments…)…and while Josh Gordon is as dangerous a player in football now and stretching the field for everyone else….even with the beat up Packer wideouts, I just feel the Browns are bringing pebbles to a gun fight and the Packers will eventually outgun and put them away….
Game Quality: **
Ravens at Steelers:
Ah, the classic AFC North dogfight….the rivalry is there…even if the talent isn’t on the Steeler end…it’s not like the Ravens offense is bringing up mentions of repeats and dynasty as well….the passing game is empty…the running game is horrible (maybe all the years and carries caught up to Ray Rice….but not like Pierce is doing anything either) ….at least the defense is playing solid and held the Packers in check…well before they started smacking down Packer receivers like domino’s ….the Ravens should be able to bust through the tin foil Steeler line and maybe control this game on their own…it’s just up to the offense ….if only Joe Flacco spread his dollars around like he should the football…plus the Steelers won their damn game…lets move on with this…NBC is slipping me $20 to overhype the Sunday Night Game….
Game Quality: *** (reputation inflates quality)
Broncos at Colts:
ZOMG, DID YOU REALIZE PEYTON MANNING WAS ONCE THE COLTZZZ AND NOW HE’S COMING HOME TO PLAY THEM FOR THE FIRST AND MAYBE ONLY TIME EVERZZZZ???.... well of course you did….and if you didn’t NBC shoved this down your throat about as damn hard as Bob Costas turns his lil segments into insufferable cures for insomnia and meaningless political debates and commentary (not to mention looking like a moron mentioning the Chicago Blackhawks in the “inappropriate names” snore-fest I dare not call a rant, since the Blackhawks were named after the infantry division their first owner served in during World War I….but that doesn’t make you look like an elitist intellectual prick when you say that….facts…they’re a good thing Bob J )…add in the dumb comments by Jim Irsay (and this guy is the biggest fool on Twitter this side of Scott Steiner)….I could write three pages and not mention football at all…..it’s a shame the Colts lost last Monday, this game needs more juice…right?? But I like what the Colts have on the field…maybe they looked a little bit ahead to this one last week (Lord knows ESPN and NBC did last week)…this game is like a Super Bowl and a passing of the Torch wrapped all in one here….yes the Broncos get Miller back and that helps the pass rush (Luck does get sacked a bit too much for my liking)….and the Colts just gotta play the game of their lives…you can only imagine how intense and wanting to not see the crowd turn into a Peyton love-fest (God knows I don’t want one)….there’s gonna be a TON of points and plays in this one….I think the Colts can go shot for shot with the Broncos like the Cowboys did, and there’s gonna be a “just as good offense” that’s gonna pick them off….why not the Colts….in Peyton’s homecoming game??
Game Quality: **** (worth all the commercials for the crappy prime time shows they want you to watch after the game)
Monday Oct 21:
Vikings at Giants:
Oh boy…this is pretty brutal…and a letdown after the BEST GAME OF TWO MILLENA THE NIGHT BEFORE….right?? Josh Freeman gets the start here and the way the Vikings have played the last few games….this is a winnable game for the Giants….but you can damn sure say that for the Vikings too….Jesus these teams are a combined 1-9….good Christ…or not so good Christ maybe…the Vikings seem to have more pieces though…not to mention Freeman with a chip on his shoulder…not to mention that Peterson guy who starts to turn it on come this time of year….*sigh* and I don’t have a damn ice hockey game Monday….this is cruel torture….good luck figuring out…or enjoying this one….at least we still have El-INT, and his constant is throwing to the other team….yeah turnovers…they matter!!!
Game Quality: ** ¾ (hey AP, it’s close to the 2nd half…lets go!)
Week 6 Power Rankings:
2. Chiefs…from the last week…..
3. New England….Patriots, Aliens and Unicorns…..
5. Colts….bad game last week, time to bounce back…
1. Seattle….winning ugly, but also winning in different ways
2. New Orleans….time to work on that 4 minute drill eh??
3. San Francisco….3 in a row, and still minimal QB production….
4. Detroit….I’m still amazed by this….
5. Dallas….run the table in the division….profit?