Thursday Oct 24:
Carolina at Tampa Bay
Let's see, the Panthers are on a roll, the defense is kicking it into gear, Cam Newton is playing better and the Steve Smith incident last week seems to really have this Panther team fired up (and make no mistake about it, that was a NASTY football game with the Rams last week....sh!t got real...sh!t got personal)....and then we have Tampa....and we have ex-Bucs around the league that most people would call personal pot shots at Schiano and his idiot regime in Tampa....small problem....can't be an insult when it's factual....the only thing this fool will add to the NFL is now kneel downs will be done in the shotgun formation and Matt Millen will have a drinking buddy in the 0-16 club...remember how terrible Josh Freeman was on Monday Night?? (Maybe he's not had time to be cleansed of the Schiano-ing yet)....but that was still a pro QB with years in the league who didn't have the time to get all the blitz reads, checkdowns and hot receiver calls in 2 weeks in the facility....how do you think a rookie QB in his 3rd game with no practice time is gonna look?? Yeah....this is a no-brainer.....
Game Quality: * 3/4 (it only gets this high because I love seeing Schiano buried!)
Sunday Oct 27:
49ers vs Jaguars via London:
Good God....we as Americans are spiteful aren't we? Haven't we gotten over the Boston Tea Stuff and the God Save the Queen crap?? I only ask this because I assume we have some angry Americans who hate the British in the NFL Front Offices....look at the football games they keep sending across the pond?? I guess there is a chance of more Jaguar fans in London now then Parts Unknown...a fan or two might even CHEER for them....God knows why....I couldn't win this game for the Jags if I was playing Madden 12 on easy
Game Quality: INTERNATIONAL DUD!!
Cleveland at Kansas City:
Oh boy this is gonna be one of those weeks I regret giving up coffee isn't it??? I'd have been all fired up about this if Brian Hoyer hadn't had THE SLIDE OF DOOM and was gone....now it's Jason Campbell's turn to stink it up for the Browns....and yes the Chiefs in all reality shouldn't be 8-0....but they're gonna be....dammit ....the way you beat the Chiefs is you throw deep on them and slow down Charles....the Browns should be able to make Brian Westbrook 2.0 work for it this week, but they ain't got the offense to go up 10-15 points on the Chiefs and make Alex Smith have to air it out....this is gonna be a stinker folks...unless you're a Chiefs D owner, in that case you will be a happy person basking in the warm light of many points!
Game Quality: *
Miami at New England:
I admit it....I'm mad at Miami....that was a GOTTA HAVE game last week..... and what happened?? The Bills exposed their offense....the Buffalo front four (and does anyone in football have a less relevant double digit sack total then Mario Williams?? I think not....) owned, pistol whipped and smashed the piss out of those five fat disgraces the Dolphins call an offensive line....now given the Patriots aren't exactly the Fearsome Foursome up front....but the Pats will score, and control the game, and like I said....I'm just kinda DONE with Miami....just go out there and beat up the Bucs just to shut up Brian and his overplaying of the "we're gonna lose" card and move on with life....and good luck with that Raven OT you just traded for....I chuckle on the inside and outside at you...the Patriots find a way (not to mention they're still annoyed about last week...hell Tom Brady didn't even wear something completely homosexual to the post-game presser last week...that's serious anger people!), and yes I'm aware Tom Brady is now on a two out of three game NO touchdown streak (more impressive then if he had actually broken the record)....but a lil rage has me clouded, and I don't see the Patriots shooting blanks here.....
Game Quality: **
Bills at Saints:
The Bills to their fans...they're that hot girl we all know....she's out there....she wears something nice....when she wants something from you, she'll all over you pestering and asking for stuff....she smiles at your crappy jokes....maybe even goes out with you now and then....but when the big moment comes and the end of the game is there....she always finds a way to screw you....now they get to go down to New Orleans....underdogs galore....Jimmy Graham may not play...maybe expose the Saints defense a little....Thad Lewis makes some plays....and then right at the end when the big upset in the Big Easy looks there....they'll screw it up and leave ya hanging....the Bills have been within a touchdown in all their games but one (of all teams, Brandon Weeden and the Browns....more of the whole tease thing eh?)..plus the Saints score...and score a LOT when they're home....that's what they do....so yes Jamie...we're gonna be talking Sanborn off the ledge again this week as he gives me the "we were in this one dammit!!" speech and I shake my head and quote my favorite line from the Rock (the movie not the sportz entertainer) "Losers whine about their best....winners go out and frak the Prom Queen".....which goes right back to the hot girl analogy....Drew Brees has one....they have her in all his crappy commercials....see?? IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!
Game Quality: ** 3/4 (the Bills are the ultimate cock-tease and will do it again)
Dallas at Detroit:
Holy crap....a fascinating game....and the Cowboys NOT being morons talking crap about Calvin....or Johnson....or puffy...or the actual receiver or any of that crap....two REALLY good offenses that toss the ball all over the place, the Lions have more running with Reggie Bush...but the Cowboys have a better defense, a strong back seven and a magician of a d-line coach....add in Ware and Murray likely to come back....this might be the big budget shootout game we all expected in Dallas vs Phily last week ...I think I used up all my emotions being mad about the Dolphins and can look at the Cowboys without the blinders....the Cowboys match up well with the Lions....and need a big non-NFC East win....all the pieces come together here (and its still early enough in the season to suck my not-so-fat ass back into this season)....
Game Quality: **** (might be game of the week, it won't be a prime time game)
Giants at Eagles:
Will Michael Vick start?? If not will Matt Barkley be more accurate then Josh Freeman last week?? Hell if Barkley starts this became anti-football GOLD...but the odds are Vick gets out of the kennel for this one and probably saves the Eagles season (maybe a touch dramatic but a few weeks of Barkley and the Giants and Eagles will be neck in neck for mediocre draft picks...)....as for the Giants...YAY....you won.... HOORAY, you moved up from 1st to FOURTH in the draft....please....keep this up....the problem is if they win here the self-delusions of a miracle run and a chance to steal the NFC East start creeping into their idiot heads...but add another loss in the NFC East to them....and you can get the shovels and bury them for good this year....the Eagles need this....hell the Giants BEGGED the Vikings to take that game last week, they were just more pathetic then the Giants last week....big games from Vick, McCoy and an actual NFL offense are enough to put the Giants away and hopefully spell the return of EL-I-N-T!!!
Game Quality: ** (could be high scoring)
Jets at Bengals:
Maybe the best of the 4:00 games (though Peyton Manning ass kissers and offensive football addicts will say its Redskins/Broncos), the Jets had a crazy win last week, off one of the most obscure new rules you'll ever see (even I didn't hear of this one till after it happened)....the funny thing is people will say this is karma coming back to the Pats for spygate and that idiot tuck rule too....I won't call it a "player safety rule"...the league doesn't care fully about player safety until cut blocks and stiff arms are eliminated too....but whatever....task at hand....task at hand....the Bengals will get pressure Geno Smith....they should be able to force him into mistakes....the teams that do, find ways to get past the Jets and the mad scientist defense...this should be an interesting game to watch at least....but it won't be the highlight-fest that the sports networks demand to call this "big time"....well unless AJ Green gets all phenomenal Sunday afternoon.....
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Steelers at Raiders:
Oh this has sweet glorious disaster written all over it....two of the worse o-lines in football going at it....the Raiders play scrappy and low-budget good defense, and can run the ball (as well as the QB being able to scamper too)...the Steelers have actually won two in a row now and with Levon Bell back in the mix look like a balanced football team....I still don't trust that o-line....or that old defense....but it's Terrell Pryor and the "no block offense"...I guess Steeler fans gonna have to find their horrible Hankies out of moth balls and start talking about silly comebacks....this could be a silly fun kinda game in the end just because of the comedy of errors these crap O-Lines could provide!!!
Game Quality: *** (amusement value counts!)
Atlanta at Arizona:
This game is what we call in the business....a hot mess....the Cardinals can't block anyone....the Falcons can't play defense or pressure anyone, neither team has a running game.... Carson Palmer got pathetic in a hurry here...least Matt Ryan is playing good football and I'm amazed New England is calling up the Falcons to beg for Tony Gonzalez to let him have his playoff run....or Kansas City which is funny on so many levels....anyway, this is one of those "someone's gotta win 'cause we're not allowed to predict ties here" kinda games....and yeah the Falcons beat the Bucs last week....Schiano's old overrated college team could probably beat the Bucs this week (that would be worth it to see my head explode at two of the things I hate most going against each other)....I'm gonna assume Carson Palmer gets enough time to throw to Larry Fitz (and yes I desperately need that with Reggie Wayne's season being done)...and the Cardinals do have a decent defense....and 4 wins is a magic number in Arizona....screw the Falcons...sell sell sell those players!!!
Game Quality: ** (the two worst front lines in football COLLIDE)
Washington at Denver:
Mike Shanahan gets a home coming this week to Denver....I doubt it will be as warm and rosey as #18's was last week in the game of the uber-compilation of the millenia was...RG III is showing signs of health....and running again....pity that doesn't help that awful defense in Washington....take that defense and a butt hurt bunch of Broncos and this has BLOOD...DEATH....and VENGEANCE written all over it...not to mention an NFC East Sweep for the Broncos.....the Redskins start too slow and just won't be able to keep up.....
Game Quality: ***
Packers at Vikings:
Soooo, Josh Freeman got concussed last week in that Giants game eh?? I say good....he gave a lot of US headaches with his "Stormtrooper accuracy" passes during that game....and now it's back to Christian Plunder this week?? At least he knows how to hand off to Adrian Peterson....and he did butt hurt the Packers big last year running for like 500 yards against them....somehow I think the Packers will avenge that this week...and get Eddie Lacey a similar type game...a perfect get healthy week for the Packers who are playing pretty damned good despite losing some key people....who knows what kinda crack NBC was smoking when they put this in prime time....maybe some dumbass thought Favre was still here.....
Game Quality: DUD
Monday Oct 28:
Seattle at St Louis:
So the Rams were all desperate and all and tried to give Brett Favre a call to come play QB for the Rams while Sam Bradford gets the MRI that I so richly deserve on his knee....Favre's ego I'm sure kicked in and went HELL YEAH.....then he looked at the Rams schedule and said FRAK THIS...I'm gonna go beat up Drew Brees and make a crappy Wrangler commercial instead.....the league's best defense against.... Kellen Clements ?? Really?? On Prime Time?? REALLY.... *sigh* I hate that my ice hockey games are on Tuesday Nights....this is hot garbage....
Game Quality: DUD
NFL Week 7 Power Rankings:
1. Indianapolis....kicked the bear....and the bronco....and the Seahawk.....
2. Kansas City...just a sound football team playing perfectly within themselves...
3. Denver.... Peyton Manning took a day off in practice to properly sulk.....
4. Cincinnati.....quietly racking up some impressive wins....
5. New England....yeah...those guys.....
1. Seattle...still the man in the NFC
2. New Orleans....the week off doesn't make them less dangerous...
3. 49ers....I guess bullying is ok in the NFL, since they're stuffing the nerd teams in the lockers...
4. Green Bay....winning through injuries is always impressive....
5. Dallas.....its been coaching all along???