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Av's Varlamov arrested


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#61 ATLL765

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:17 AM

I've always had a problem with that thinking.  I agree a marriage is a contract and I believe in a divorce things should be split evenly for large majority of them.  However, to expect to live the same lifestyle after the divorce as you did before is just foolish and unrealistic.  The household was split in two so their combined income will never be as high.

 

In most of these cases its the man paying the woman alimony it is up to the man to then pay the difference.  What if he loses his job?  I know he can go back to court to ask it to be lowered, but a lot of times that doesn't happen.  There is/was a very real case of that happening in Flemington where a guy was jailed for failure to pay alimony after he lost his high paying job and after his requests to lower his alimony payments were rejected.

I think the way the way they deal with it post-divorce could definitely be improved. I know someone who was hassled, just like you said, to the point where he was being jailed, which does nothing but make the situation worse. I think men are overwhelmingly handicapped when it comes to making a case that they are being overburdened by alimony or child support payments.

At the same time though, I think, especially when children are involved, the higher paid/more successful partner has a responsibility to maintain a lifestyle across the board for their family.

If you have one parent making good money and another making near nothing, it can really skew how kids feel. How is it fair if one parent can afford to take the kids to places for vacation or see a concert or a sporting event or buy them this toy, but then to have the other parent in a place where doing that would mean taking food off the table?


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#62 DevsMan84

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:19 AM

I agree that alimony is a system that needs to be very seriously reformed. New Jersey's alimony laws in particular are rather awful. That is, however something that must be taken up by ballot box.

 

Hasn't that come up before and every time it never makes it to the ballot box?  I bet the lobbiest for the lawyers are going hard to prevent it ever from having it decided by vote of the populace.


I think the way the way they deal with it post-divorce could definitely be improved. I know someone who was hassled, just like you said, to the point where he was being jailed, which does nothing but make the situation worse. I think men are overwhelmingly handicapped when it comes to making a case that they are being overburdened by alimony or child support payments.

At the same time though, I think, especially when children are involved, the higher paid/more successful partner has a responsibility to maintain a lifestyle across the board for their family.

If you have one parent making good money and another making near nothing, it can really skew how kids feel. How is it fair if one parent can afford to take the kids to places for vacation or see a concert or a sporting event or buy them this toy, but then to have the other parent in a place where doing that would mean taking food off the table?

 

 

That's what child support is for.


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#63 Guadana

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:20 AM

So you're saying Russian women deserve to be beaten? 

 

am.. no. i don`t. you take that from context


Edited by Guadana, 01 November 2013 - 11:21 AM.

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#64 NewarkDevil5

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:25 AM

Hasn't that come up before and every time it never makes it to the ballot box?  I bet the lobbiest for the lawyers are going hard to prevent it ever from having it decided by vote of the populace.

 

Well I was referring to by voting for representatives who will change it, but I suppose that trying to get a referendum might not be a bad idea.


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#65 DevsMan84

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 11:44 AM

Well I was referring to by voting for representatives who will change it, but I suppose that trying to get a referendum might not be a bad idea.

 

Representatives are even worse.  A lot of them are former/current lawyers themselves.


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#66 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:06 PM

In a perfect world it would be 50/50, but we do not live in a perfect world. Right when both parties walk into the courtroom, in a huge majority of cases the woman is guaranteed at least 50% while the man would have to fight tooth and nail to just get 50%.

Divorce cases are heavily stacked against men, even when it is not their fault.

I don't disagree. That's why I'm making damn well sure that I marry someone who the likelihood of getting a divorce from is near zero.
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#67 DevsMan84

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:10 PM

I don't disagree. That's why I'm making damn well sure that I marry someone who the likelihood of getting a divorce from is near zero.


I hope so but there are no guarantees in life. My brother a couple years ago would have thought the probability of him getting divorced was near zero too.
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#68 Colorado Rockies 1976

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:21 PM

I don't disagree. That's why I'm making damn well sure that I marry someone who the likelihood of getting a divorce from is near zero.

 

I don't think too many people enter marriage thinking "This is only temporary."  Yeah, some people are stupid about it and shouldn't have gotten married, but a lot of people enter into marriage thinking it's going to be forever, end of story.  A lot can change over time, people can grow apart...simply, a lot can happen, and you cannot predict the future, no matter how hard you try.

 

As much as you may think you've got all it figured out, no one can really say that they do.  You can only do what feels right at the time, and do the best that you can.     


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#69 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:34 PM

I don't think too many people enter marriage thinking "This is only temporary." Yeah, some people are stupid about it and shouldn't have gotten married, but a lot of people enter into marriage thinking it's going to be forever, end of story. A lot can change over time, people can grow apart...simply, a lot can happen, and you cannot predict the future, no matter how hard you try.

As much as you may think you've got all it figured out, no one can really say that they do. You can only do what feels right at the time, and do the best that you can.

as I said earlier, the majority of divorces I have seen of people I know or heard of are either: people younger than 25 who think they know what they're doing then 10 yrs go by and they say "crap this is it huh?" Or people who are together less than a year or two and think "it doesn't get any better than this, let's go!" And realize after a few years that it may not get better, but it can get worse.

Of course this is by no means a scientific study and there are always other factors, but I believe a lot of divorces I've seen are a result of people being too naive about the situation they are entering into.
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#70 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:38 PM

http://usnews.nbcnew...her-monkey?lite

 

Must be something in the water in Colorado this week...


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#71 Devilsfan118

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:38 PM

Checked back on this thread hoping for some details about what Varlamov did, stumbled into pretty interesting debate about divorce and domestic abuse.

 

Needless to say, this is way too heavy (at least at this moment) for my taste for a hockey forum, so I'll just...see myself out..


http://usnews.nbcnew...her-monkey?lite

 

Must be something in the water in Colorado this week...

 

Now THAT'S more like it 

 

/slight sarcasm


Edited by Devilsfan118, 01 November 2013 - 12:39 PM.

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#72 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:44 PM

Checked back on this thread hoping for some details about what Varlamov did, stumbled into pretty interesting debate about divorce and domestic abuse.

Needless to say, this is way too heavy (at least at this moment) for my taste for a hockey forum, so I'll just...see myself out..


Now THAT'S more like it

/slight sarcasm

when the devils win there's nothing to complain about so we need to keep ourselves entertained until the next loss somehow.
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#73 Biggie B

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:46 PM

In his defense, Varlamov did protest, "It wasn't me, it was the one armed man!"

 

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=XFldSKSCTkk


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#74 CarterforPresident

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 12:58 PM

You walk away and leave the girl.
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#75 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:43 PM

You walk away and leave the girl.

leave the girl, take the cannoli.

That's what I always say.
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#76 NewarkDevil5

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 01:46 PM

leave the girl, take the cannoli.

That's what I always say.

 

mmmm cannoli.....


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#77 jim777

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 04:12 PM

leave the girl, take the cannoli.

That's what I always say.

 

Tough to leave the girl if you can't get her out of your house.


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#78 Mike Brown

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 04:26 PM

So he's playing tonight.  I'm not sure what to make of that.


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#79 dmann422

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 04:45 PM

Tough to leave the girl if you can't get her out of your house.

it was a joke to try to lighten the mood after some serious off topic discussion.

If he wanted her to leave and she refused, there is a simple solution that does not involve violence.

Edited by dmann422, 01 November 2013 - 04:45 PM.

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#80 Biggie B

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Posted 01 November 2013 - 05:02 PM

In his defense, she did run into his knee and then trip down the stairs. That poor clumsy thing!
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