November football....this is when stuff gets real....teams start looking to the playoffs....or their draft boards.... depending on who they are (or dopey teams like Atlanta that shoulda sold high on some players before the trade deadline and gotten SOMETHING out of this season....)...a much better slate of games this week and fewer teams on bye (Kansas City,N.Y. Jets,Cleveland,New England...but Jamaal Charles shall be missed this week)...time to get on with the preview before NFL Security calls me up about my anti-Knicks texts I sent to Sanborn this week (I suppose I should comment on these "bullying" claims....but its hard for me to accept a grown man who plays offensive line in the NFL is capable of being "bullied" and he should just stand up for his damn self....but I suppose that comes from my own way I dealt with the bully in the family when I was 17 and I never looked back....so I'm gonna avoid the topic until we get some real useful facts and not just damning out of context clips from voice mails....plus it's REALLY hard to feel for a grown man who can take care of himself hiding behind a lawyer (and you can be damned sure will NEVER play in the NFL again if he goes through with suing....)
Thursday November 7:
Washington at Minnesota:
Two disappointing team with some pretty awesome players on their rosters (not to mention me rooting for AP and Alfred Morris to mirror that Matt Forte/Eddie Lacy duel of Monday Night, that would be pretty awesome!)....yes people will stack the box on AP, but Christian Plunder is showing himself to be less awful then Josh Freeman (who's just not ready to play QB for the Vikiings)...and the Matt Cassel movement was about as forceful as a morning bowel movement (guess that depends on what ya ate....)....this could shape up to be a more fun game to watch then you'd expect based on record....not to mention neither team's defense can stop a team worth a damn.....so this is what those gambler types like to call "an over game"....and just looking at these teams' offenses....the REDSKINS are healthier, have their full o-line, have better weapons and even 80% of Griffin is better then 100% Plunder...but it's nice to have a Thursday Night game with appeal two weeks in a row!
Game Quality: *** (two teams with explosive players and no defense at all)
Sunday November 10:
Cincinati at Baltimore:
A typical AFC North battle of the last few years....but neither team has really been all that impressive the last few weeks (or in the Ravens case since Joe Flacco signed his not-so-little contract....)...but one bad loss to Miami exposed some warts....and took away a few good wins that the Bengals had....just seeing their O-Line get face-slammed like they did by the Dolphins (given that team is good and more so with Cam Wake leading the charge) and losing their best D-Line guy in Atkins....it's fair to be concerned about a team not too many people were all that high on in the first place....and the other team just got out-manned beaten down and dominated by CLEVELAND....yes really....that's pretty bad....not to mention the Ravens can't run the ball for crap....and it's just a disjointed mess there too.... crap, this could be the first time ever two .500 or better teams were lumped into anti-football status!!! ....as I was planning this out I was convinced I was gonna take the home field and the Ravens and crap on the Benglas....but then I realized I'd be taking the 2nd worst team in the division...Ray Rice seems out of gas...the o-line is blah....and the Joe Flacco show is as successful as the Pat Sajak one was (which is about as successful as the analogy....maybe the T-Ocho show is better??)....just as long as they don't keep showing Andy Dalton's awful face (and yes he is one UGLY-ass fraker ).....I can't promise an entertaining game...but the only chance the Ravens got is to pay Ray Lewis $3 million to stand there and yell at people again....
Game Quality: **
Detroit at Chicago:
Jay Culter is back!! And just in time to play the team that beat him down the most this season (well aside from the game he was actually hurt in....but whatever)....the Bears seemed to be alright without him....also didn't hurt that the Packers lost the best QB in the league during the game....but the Bears defense is still having issues stopping teams (amazing how quick that fell off the face with Lovie Smith gone)...and the Bears have scored 95 points in their last 3 games (damnnn)...a win here and Chicago is right back in the mix after I thought they'd be dead and buried without Cutler....the Lions have been oddly enough the steadiest team in the NFC North, especially when Reggie Bush is healthy....but the Bears are home and need this one just a lil bit more then the Lions do...I hate picking teams on that....but I feel better about it when it's home field and divison rivalries usually come down to that when the rosters are about even....
Game Quality: ** 3/4
Seattle at Atlanta:
The Seahawks have not been all that impressive the last two weeks....they had a Monday Night dogfight with the Rams....and then decided to not play the first half vs the Schiano's and lead to this delightful lil story....some random 10 year old kid was with his family and I guess since he's small he aspires to be a lil troll in life decides to run all over and jumps on the Tampa Bay bandwagon (which is really like jumping out of an airplane and expecting a pilf of those foam ceiling insultation tiles to protect you....)....he's all YEAH TAMPA, are you rooting for Tampa too?? As we all know Seattle is my man-crush team and I was NOT in a good mood about this (add in my Schiano hate and I was probably ready to not be very PG-13 to this kid).....hell even his mother was rooting for Seattle....so he'd run around smack people on the back (he got close to the bad knee which would have gotten him kicked in the mouth on pure reflex)....so Seattle scores at the half....and the comeback is on...the kid's trying still....he means well....but the whole place knows the tide is turning....then overtime....then the Schiano's got what like 12 yards of offense in the 2nd hlaf???....they line up for the winning field goal....I hobble over to the kid....as the kick goes up.... "NOW SEE, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TAUNTING PEOPLE WHILE THE GAME IS ON....LET THIS BE A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON FOR YOU"....the mom busts out laughing anf goes YEAH....and anyway...the good guys won.....the Schiano's stay on their 0-16 path....Atlanta is horrible, you could play this game on the moon and Seattle can beat them only playing the 2nd Half alone....plus Seattle owes them for ruining the playoffs for me last year!!!
Game Quality: **
Eagles at Packers:
The Eagles might have used their offense for the entire month in one perfect storm kinda game with the Raiders last week.....it's scary that Nick Foles shares any kinda record with Peyton Manning and all the other old guys with 7TDs in a game....but hey that's the modern NFL for ya! The Packers on the other hand are rolling into uncharted territory here....life without A-Rod at QB....now the Packers are good enough to prep Seneca Wallace with a week to do so and a pretty beastly running game with Lacy, Starks and Franklin to back him somewhat and give him easier one on one passing matchups (and Wallace can run a bit).....this current Eagles team won't exactly bring up fond memories of Buddy Ryan teams when it comes to stopping people....I'm pretty sure Clay Matthews is back this week too....that means bad things for the Eagles O-line as well.....and if you were able to sell high on Nick Foles....I applaud you!! You won't get any good offers this week....
Game Quality: **
Rams at Colts:
The Colts sure do know how to pull games out don't they??? Pretty damned amazing for a team that is so damned young and now with Andrew Luck without his lil security blanket in Reggie Wayne and "No Yards per carry" Trent Richardson living up to his name....it's just damned impressive....and here come the Rams....they have their lil running back....and a QB who made Mark Sanchez look like an all-pro.....I know they have a tough, nasty defense that's a pain....but the Colts aren't gonna line you up and beat you anyway, this will be won in the air....and thanks to the Rams putrid offense...this is pretty much a no-brainer.....
Game Quality: DUD
Raiders at NY Giants:
This might be the hardest game of the week to pick....the Raiders fell into the perfect sh!t-storm last week with the Eagles, their secondary got roasted all over the place and they had no answer...and yes the Giants have won two in a row and people are getting all delusional about this story book comeback and winning the NFC East and thumping their chests and doing all sorts of manly man stuff afterwards....but really?? They beat a Vikings team that wanted to lose more then the Giants did....and an Eagles team that....oh yeah....pounded the Raiders into oblivion....*sigh*....alright.....go win 3 in a row...I'll make my damn stand with the Packers.....
Game Quality: * 3/4
Jaguars at Titans:
This is pretty simple....another week....another chance to pick a team to beat the Jaguars...whooo!! Go get 'em Shaun Greene!!! Part of me is upset that the Jags and the Schiano's don't play each other...but then one team would have to win and the Schiano's winning would make me very angry...just ask that rotten kid I'll talk about in the Seattle game....
Game Quality: DUD
Bills at Steelers:
Oh boy....this doesn't deserve to be anti-football....the Steelers are last in almost EVERY defensive category that matters....and they especially can't stop the run....that spells field day for CJ Spiller and Freddie Jackson indeed....add in the fact that the Bills front 4 should be gettin some on this crappy Steelers O-Line....add in a returning EJ Manuel....and it's about that time of year....where the Bills make that late season push about two weeks too late and fool you into thinking...yes...next year will be different!!! The Steelers are at least not fooling their fans and showing them that they are indeed a pile of hot garbage....least the Bills will make the Wild Card hunt have a little drama here.....we like drama!
Game Quality: ** 3/4 (ALL Bills games come down to the last drive)
Carolina at 49ers:
Oh boy now this is my kinda football....two awesome defenses and run-based teams lining up and going at it (amazing how with all this "bullying" idiocy going on.....no one seems to care that the guy who showed up drunk to an NFL practice at 7am is coming back to play football this week.....I guess I shouldn't be shocked by this)...don't forget in the first week of the year the Panthers gave Seattle ALL they could handle and the Seahwaks BARELY pulled that one out in the 4th quarter....the Panthers are much improved since then too....yes the 49ers are getting Manningham back this week (and I did sign him in every league thank you much!), but I don't think they're going to be full in-sync this week.....the Panthers are good enough up front to stuff this power, in your face running game....and Kapernick hasn't shown he can beat a team with his arm unless they wear cheese-heads.....the Panthers can keep this close and have worked on their short-yardage issues (in other words, give the ball to the big mo-fo's in the backfield when it's 3rd and inches)....and this may be a pick from the heart since I'm rooting for Carolina.....but sometimes you gotta pick the upset....and here it is....I just hope it's better then Laflamme's BOLD PREDICITIONS.....
Game Quality: **** (I'm fired up for this!)
Houston at Arizona:
I can't help but wonder if Houston wins that game last Sunday is Gary Kubiak doesn't collapse on the sidelines.... though the incident (and it being the 2nd in as many days with NFL coaches)....maybe its time to re-evaluate an NFL head coach and look into their health safety as well....it's harder to tell a grown man to leave his office and get some sleep then it is to tell a concussed player who can't stand to sit out a game I know this....and coaching is an addiction to these guys....I am not selling the word short either....they can't get it out of their system....look at Parcells, and even Andy Reid....they go right back to it time and time again....but Case Keenum not only lets me make Casey Kasum jokes....but he very well could save Houston's season (or maybe be the guy down the road since they are in a damned deep-ass hole as is)....Arizona on the other hand is now the classic "same old sh!t" story....they can't protect the QB...the running game is meh....their good defense is out there too much and they can't get the ball enough to Larry Fitz to win games.....its funny how the teams with the crap record like this are more appealing than say....Cinci and Baltimore right?? But I am fascinated to see Keenum and how he handles this offense and if he can be the guy....the state of Texas has a bit of history in running undrafted QBs and milking them for every last ounce of blood theuy got....plus you can see them bit by bit starting to rally around this young kid at QB.....and like I said....the Cardinals suck anyway.....
Game Quality: DUD (except for Casey Kasum Kuarterback!)
Denver at San Diego:
Oh boy...another classic "over" game here....and yet another reason for me NOT to like Denver....Jack Del Rio is back being an NFL coach....one series of unneeded time out's and a broken blackberry tossed across the room in Chris Johnson RAGE is enough to get me to loathe this guy forever too... (here....read for your damn self if you have no clue what I am talking about: http://ten.247sports...on-vs-Jags-3512 )....a bye week and a rested Broncos team all full of Peyton Manning's awfulish Papa John's pizza walking into San Diego to face an annoyed Chargers team that had the REDSKINS by the balls and didn't finish the job last week.....this game will have offense and points galore I'm sure....but that old Phillip Rivers does still rear his head again (though he didn't have Keenan Allen in previous years....or a legit running game like this), neither one of these defenses are glorious....and this will have an arena football0type score....but at least it will be fun to watch as everyone racks in the fantasy football points!!)....this has Denver winning by double digits and pulling away at the end all over it .......
Game Quality: **** (OFFENSE, that's all that matters right??)
Dallas at New Orleans:
This seems to be the theme of the week...offense....offense....everywhere! The Saints are absurd at home when it comes to scoring points, Colston, Sporles and Graham seem good enough to go (though the matchup of Graham and Sean Lee should be an awesome one all game long).....Murray is a week healthier (maybe he actually sees the ball again...idiot ginger I'm looking at you....)...and even Demarcus Ware should be back this week.....Dallas has come into New Orleans before and pounded them in their own building....and the Cowboys do have a knack of rising up to play the "good" teams as much as they play like dog poop against the lesser teams (case in point the Bronco game)....and one way or the other the Cowboys do tend to deliver in prime time...either the big game....or the classic DUMBO FAIL moment....and this doesn't even mention Rob Ryan playing the team that dumped him last season.....there's a ton of good stuff to like in this game....and in the end...the Cowboys will screw it up and me and Sanborn will argue again over which team is more annoying....Dallas...or Buffalo (when the answer is CLEARLY Dallas )
Game Quality: **** (yay prime time goodness!)
Monday November 11:
Miami at Tampa Bay:
Good thing there's some "non-football drama" for ESPN to talk about in this one right?? But still despite all the offensive line drama in Miami (and I'm still not sure how to feel about this one....did Incognito go to far?? Did Miami need more Counsleor Troi and less Code Red?? Probably....I'm still waiting for the "did you send that text??" ..."YOU'RE GODDAMNED RIGHT I DID" moment ....but all this crap and now the bottom line is Miami is out two offensive lineman....this still doesn't make them the dysfunctional MESS that Tampa is....and add in when a bad team blows its load in the game before...and STILL loses....and comes back to a home crowd that's gonna be hostile (well the ones that do get out there to the game)....it's hard to see a bad team play it's A game two weeks in a row....no matter how much of a mess Miami is....they're still just better....and maybe a bit united, focused and just so glad to have three hours to just play football and get away from all this sh!t as well....and just to add a little football commentary to this....look what Cam Wake did to Cincinati last week....can you imagine what he's gonna do Monday Night??
Game Quality: ** (I guess??)
Week 9 Power Rankings:
1. Chiefs.... *copy*
2. Denver.... *and paste from all the other weeks*
3. Colts....big time comeback win last week
4. New England....looked like the old Pats running up the score again....
5. Cincinati...I feel more obliged then behind this pick.....
1. Seattle....kicking Schiano in the balls will always endear to me
2. San Francisco...getting WR's back, could actually be an NFL offense soon....
3. New Orelans....bad road losses...good thing they're going back to the dome....
4. Detroit ....best in the AFC North?
5. Chicago....yeah our backup is better then yours Green Bay!!!
Edited by CRASHER, 07 November 2013 - 06:05 PM.