This hasn’t been the easiest of weeks here for me, and I’m not the big “wahhhh the world sucks and I need to complain on the internet about stuff until someone gives a damn about it” type of person….but it is why the Week 11 preview never happened… seven weeks ago I took a cheap shot in a floor hockey game, the next day I went to the doctor….he recommended me get an MRI….meanwhile….I kept playing hockey on it (hell people playing against me couldn’t even tell I was hurt anymore)…I get the MRI results back on Monday…and BAM….torn ACL, and both Meniscus tears….yeah it was a bit of a shock…..and it threw me off and for a blurr….and it’s really taken me most of this week to kinda get my head on straight and know that hockey is gone for a while and all I have is surgery and rehab to look forward to….but I’ll get through it…..I just like I said….felt y’all needed to know why I was running so behind schedule this week….that’s all…..so anyway, I should have LOTS of piss and vinegar charged up for this one right?? (and nothing adds to that like a Giant/Cowboys game with the “we’re going 10-6 wagon out in FULL force….*groan*)…at least this is the last of the bye weeks (Buffalo, Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Seattle and we’re done!)
Thursday November 21:
Saints at Falcons:
Good God…what a steaming pile of turd to come back to right??? The Falcons have been long done for a while now, and I can’t think of a higher insult this year than getting your brains beat in by the Schiano’s like they did last week….clearly a low point in anyone’s NFL career….considering how much the Saints and Falcons don’t like each other….I don’t expect much in mercy…or hope tonight….this gonna be an ass kicking......
Game Quality: DUD
Sunday November 25:
NY Jets at Baltimore:
Both teams had pretty foul stinkers last week (like bad hockey bag kinda stinkers….though I guess I can air mine out since I’m on the shelf…but it don’t feel right…)…the Jets are an up and down yo-yo that totally mirrors their QB play, when Gino throws to the Green Men, they do alright….when he doesn’t, the house collapses on him….the Ravens do still have a pretty good pass rush and some defensive guys, but their offense might be even more inept and stuck in neutral than the Jets….oi…Ray Rice runs rather rotten this season…the “elite” Joe Flacco shows you once again, if you’re a QB who needs to rely on your weapons to be good…you ain’t elite….the Jets are the classic up and down team based on each week….but I just don’t see them doing enough to beat the Ravens at home….this could be a 7-3 game just based on the bad offenses….it could make this amusing but awfully frustrating to watch indeed!
Winner: Ravens (but this will be uglllyyyy)
Game Quality: ** ½
Steelers at Browns:
This will be another game “not for the faint of heart”….least the Steelers have won a few games, that Lions one still amazes me, maybe I should have watched more of it….not as easy to dance around the bar like I should be though….meanwhile it’s back to normal in Cleveland…losing 4 of 5, and just not looking as good as they did when Hoyer was the QB (I’m still upset about that)….but when you compare these teams…it’s still a spotty Pitt O-Line going against a strong front 7 in Cleveland….Joe Hayden shutting down Antonio Brown, and the Steelers ain’t got a lot of options past that…..if Jason Campbell can make JUST ENOUGH plays this week….I don’t know if you can call it an upset, but it at least stops the bleeding in Cleveland…if that’s even possible after decades of gashes, cuts and mutiliations….
Game Quality: * ¾
Tampa Bay at Detroit:
The Schiano’s have won two in a row (and there is NO TRUTH to the fact that those wins helped add to my pre-surgery downswing last week….though it didn’t help dammit)….the Lions should be nice and sour after crapping the bed on Heinz Field last week and hopefully a bit more focused and ready….they get Pizza Pizza guy (Nate Burleson) back, which can only get Calvin more open…the Schiano’s are good at pumping out RB and Bobby Rainey seems to be the next in line (hell as long as he gets me fantasy points I don’t give a damn about the rest)…..its time to put this Schiano nonsense to bed (its bad enough the Giants and Steelers are working comebacks, this would make my head explode)….its almost depressing that I need to count on Jim Schwartz and his fake FG magic to get it done…..
Game Quality: DUD
Vikings at Green Bay:
It’s a battle of sh!t pile QBs!!! The Vikings seem stuck with Christian Plunder and the Packers have a guy under center who sounds like he wrote the Lord of the Rings books (and he might be a better author than QB still…..)…its actually funny how similar these two teams are without A-Rod in the lineup….both need to run the ball, both have spotty defense….both have to treat completed passed like a minor miracle….difference is, the season’s over in Minnesota, the Packers need to win a game or two to make this season even matter for A-Rod to come back….and it’s a home game….it’s just gotta happen this week for Green Bay or it’s probably close to over for them….desperation wins!
Game Quality: **
Jacksonville at Houston:
Oi….the unwinnable object playing the too-beatable force…it’s gone downhill FAST for Houston this year…its so bad they even missed the pick-6 GOLD of Matt Schaub and put him back in the game last week….but that was just an epic game from the Arizona defense (and don’t start me on them being in the playoff hunt either…), but this is the “get better” week for Houston….and really isn’t the Jaguars winning 3 in a row one of the signs of the Apocalypse?? It should be right up there with me getting married….) Houston just has too much talent and pride to lose THIS one…not to mention those things under center in Jacksonville they dare call “quarterbacks”…..
Game Quality: This is kinda anti-football silver, almost gold!
San Diego at Kansas City:
THE WORLD IS ENDING, THE CHIEFS LOST A GAME (I did love the Pro Football Mock article saying the Chiefs fired him for losing and how many people believed it!)…now while I’m still high on the Chiefs…things I’m worried about…they have no WR weapons at all….I mean Baltimore Ravens kinda bad here….but at least Jamaal Charles ain’t Ray Rice bad…or then heads would fly….the other scary part is this pass rush of the Chiefs hasn’t had a sack in like 10 quarters….that better change this week or the Chiefs are gonna be looking at a 3-game losing streak….speaking of….San Diego’s on one of those bad streaks…maybe it’s the right time to get them….or maybe they’re due to turn this around and win (though how the HELL did they lose to Miami…maybe they got bullied into it…)….both of these teams have damn good reasons to play their A games this week….if they do, KC is just better…
Game Quality: ***
Carolina at Miami:
Carolina is on a roll and Admiral Ackbar is screaming IT’S A TRAPPPPPP at them for this week….and if Carolina was gonna lose a game, this is the one they want to since it’s an AFC game….and Miami is trying to jump into the rest of the sh!t pile known as the AFC Wild Card chase….and as good as the Miami defense can be….I simply just can NOT trust a team that can’t block and has two yards rushing in an NFL game….and the most sacked QB in the NFL since Rob Johnson….it’s just not a good formula, add it to the Carolina front 7 being as good as they are….and it’s an ugly mess…maybe Daniel gets his lil wish and Tannehill finally succumbs to the beatings and gets hurt…would serve him right after all the hate, then signing him to his fantasy football team….go get ‘em Randy Quaid!
Game Quality: **
Chicago at St Louis:
There’s always one game when I’m going down the list that makes me look….cringe…and go…crap….go down to the Sunday Night one and come back to this…this is that game….the Bears have been 2-1 under Josh McNown….and he’d only be like a $100 million cheaper then Jay Cutler’s golden arm and 90 cent brain…the Rams have a nasty front four and when the offense can do just enough they are a PAIN IN THE ASS to deal with…here’s a wacky one, they’re 3-1 vs the AFC South…..go figure…as I do like the Jeff Fisher toughness and I was as shocked as impressed by the ass kicking the Rams put on the Colts (maybe they’re lobbying to be in the AFC South….they’re as “South” as “West” anyway….right?)…and while the Bears defense has been (nicely put) “not good” of late….the Rams offense has been equally as bland and generic minus bizarre Tavon Austin sightings….the Rams just ain’t good enough for a team that needs it too much….
Game Quality: **
Indianapolis at Arizona:
It’s a bit of a blessing that this game is this week or we’d be hearing the Aryans and Pagano match-up ad nauseum, and Lord knows the Sunday Night game has enough drivel in it….AND HOLY sh!t HOW IN THE HELL IS ARIZONA 6-4 (and 5-1 outside the NFC West…wow) !??!!? Thank God I made that 5-11 bet last year….Jesus….I know Carson Palmer was an upgrade….but still ain’t no one blocking out there….they do have a bit of a running game now and a very good defense (and good fortune in a soft schedule)…but here come the Cardiac Colts…and all they do is find crazy stupid ways to win games (and almost in spite of wasting a first round pick on Trent Richardson….was so much harder to admit he stinks when he was on the Browns…out of habit….damn this trade exposed his ass…..and made it like NO ONE will trust the Browns in a fair trade again….maybe that’s why Josh Gordon is still there….they were trying to make him into Herschel Walker 2.0!)….. while three wins in a row are three wins in a row…it was Atlanta, Houston and Jacksonville…..enough of this nonsense this week!
Game Quality: ***
Titans at Raiders:
Oops….almost skipped by this one….the Titans were pesty and tough playing good defense and getting enough from Locker….then he went down…and we all saw why Buffalo cut the cord with Ryan Fitzpatrick….he just ain’t good enough….and 0-2 since Locker went down….the Raiders had a nice win last week and have another random schlub (this is like the 5th undrafted QB to start this year….crazy) Matt McGloin is the next guy in line (and just sounds like a bad groin injury…)…Rasheed Jennings has filled in nicely for the constantly hurt McFadden, and they do have a good defense, despite being handcuffed to 60% of the salary cap….I just have no faith in the Titans and we need to add the Raiders to the madness of the AFC playoff race…(5-6 does make you a valid entrant…)
Game Quality: **
Dallas at NY Giants:
So Jerry Jones is patting Jason Garrett on the back and saying he’ll be back for 2014…Lord only knows why…it’s like he knows I buy the Madden games just to fire him…and that means more of the same….again…and people wonder why I respond to Cowboy losses like the French do insults….one shot across the bow….SURRENDER!! At least Jason Hatcher should be back…and Miles Austin will be on the field to shatter after the 3rd hit…..the only thing you can say to slam the Giants for their 4-game win streak is: Josh Freeman, Mike Vick, half a Terelle Pryor and Scott Tolzen…..you know not exactly, Marino, Elway and Favre here…they’ve also played all four of those teams at their total and most absolute worst….and you can’t get the Cowboys at their worst here….it ain’t December….but it’s also the Cowboys and anytime you want to feel good about them….they jack you in the nuts….aren’t I gonna be in enough pain next week?? And of course to add to my torture…Jamie’s working on getting herself there as well as some of my Giant fan hockey teammates…. *sigh*….this can only spell disaster!!!
Game Quality: **** (this goes up if Jamie gets her butt to Sun for this one )
Denver at Patriots:
ZOMG IT’S PEYTON AND BRADY FOR THE FOUR THOUSANDTH TIME BUT ITS SOOOO DIFFERENT BECAUSE PEYTON IS LIKE ON A DIFFERENT TEAM SO IT MAKES IT SO AMAZING!!! Bah…not really….I’m just kinda sick of the hype already (but we all know I’m sick of Peyton too)…this was supposed to also be the bitter sweet re-uniting of star-crossed QB-WR lovers in Brady and Welker, but Wes slipped on an Old Spice Bottle and cracked his noodle (good…those commercials are odd and damned creepy I tell you)….I’m so tired of these two…even more so when they both had it right there last year and screwed it up with the Ravens….and these teams are very much alike, with the Pats being able to run the ball a bit better (and having those no-name receivers)….but the Broncos having a bit better of a defense….I don’t trust Manning’s noodle arm in the bad weather (the forecast is: Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Mass. Flurries early. Scattered clouds. Cold. 28 °F, Wind: 21.20 mph/NW)…that’s enough reason to have faith in the Patriots….
Game Quality: ****
Monday November 26:
49ers at Redskins:
Oh boy, a battle of overrated, struggling QBs in their second year of starting!!! Both teams have a running game (though Mike Shanahan LOVES to troll all Alfred Morris owners and benches him when he breaks 90 yards and not giving him the ball on the goal line this season….and it’s working SO WELL for you isn’t it….don’t even start me on rushing Griffin back for the season opener when it’s painfully obvious he wasn’t ready and you have a capable backup in Cousins too)….Colin Kapernick’s probably been worse at QB and doesn’t have the injury to hide behind, but he has an awesome defense and a rushing game that lets their feature back find the damned end zone…so yeah, gimme the sucky QB with the stacked team over the less sucky guy on the awful team….
Game Quality: **
NFL Power Rankings Week 11:
- Denver….blah blah blah blah, 18, 18, 18, 18
- Kansas City….where’s the pass rush??
- Indianapolis….still winning games..
- New England…puppies, kittens, unicorns and non-calls!!!
- Cincinnati …..I guess I have to….
- Seattle….still the one….
- New Orleans….still the two
- Carolina….hottest team in the land right now….
- Phily… Foley is indeed good, and the team is improving around him
- Detroit….again I guess I gotta…..