Thanksgiving!! The one day I don’t bitch about Thursday Games (after all what are we gonna do…talk to family all day??? Screw that noise….)….and more so with me sitting at home recovering from all this knee nonsense (it’s doing well, I have a bit of mobility and only minor pain if I try to push myself….you know I’m gonna)….I’m going to look into rehab tomorrow, and it’s a big step to the right direction and back to normal…..all the teams have their byes, it’s fantasy football stretch drive time, and the Royal Rumble for the 6-seed begins now! (though personally with how horrid all those 5-6 teams are they should be forced to surrender the spot and give the 3-seed a freebie, which if its Cincinnati that’s the only way they’d win now…. Told y’all the AFC was weak sauce this year)…anyway, before I laugh in the face of the painkillers they gave me….time to get started!!!
Thursday November 28:
Packers at Lions:
It was nice to see O-Line guy Josh Sitton call out the Lions and call them kinda what I’ve been calling Jim Schwartz-run teams for years (well if you combine our comments you get immature, undisciplined, cheap shotting, scumbags….it does pretty much fit…) fun fact #2…the Scumbags QB, Matt Stafford (oddly enough…not a scumbag, just a tad chubby….nice family dinner visual ain’t it??) is 0-6 career vs. the Packers (and the Lions lost 15 of 16 to Green Bay…oi!)….the Packers are winless since A-Rod went down….but MATT FLYNN IS BACK!! (yes I’m pulling for this guy he never really got a fair break in Seattle, Oakland or even Miami before he came home)….and Matt Flynn did bring them back to my favorite-est thing in the Universe!! A FOOTBALL TIE!!!! The fit is right here with Flynn and with the Packers he probably becomes the best #2 QB in the NFL….drama….meaningful game….evenly matched teams….suspect defenses… this game does have it all….and nothing says Thanksgiving like the word “scumbag” right??? I’m pick a bit from the heart (and using the Stafford trend)…and root like hell for Matt Flynn!!
Game Quality: *** (yay tradition!)
Raiders at Cowboys:
So now we go from Scumbags to McGloin’s running around for the world to see?? Not the family programming the networks intended for Thanksgiving Dinner eh?? McGloin has risen up (yeup more puns kids….and no I’m not on pain killers writing this)….Dallas had one of those “win ugly and do what you needed to do” drives to put a big nail in the Giants coffin (and in a few tires of that bandwagon that was swelling to annoying proportion….even the Giants fan I’m dating was “I see what you mean about the idiots in the bar” so it’s NOT JUST ME, yay!)….but they did what they needed to do….as Romo and the Cowboys tend to do….in November…Dumbo is 6-1 all time on Thanksgiving…the loss was last year….when I went *grrr*….since I’m home with a wrapped knee, Chinese food and some crutches I’m doing my damndest to NOT use though, I’ll blame myself for the loss and realize the Raiders are still pretty crappy…
Game Quality: ** (add a star and a half if I pop a vicdoin with some jack daniels )
Steelers at Ravens:
Now this is a fitting football dessert!! (more so for me still under house arrest of sorts, since I can barely walk from kitchen to bathroom, forget take advantage of my new parking permit and mooch off some good sales and minimum wages employee’s being put to work )….the winner of this game will be forced by Vince McManon to give up their claim on the 6-seed in the AFC Playoff scene….but that doesn’t stop this from being a nasty, physical battle of two teams who just fraking HATE each other….I’m all for that! The Steelers did win round 1 and their last 3 games….and they beat a couple of decent teams in this lil comeback run (unlike you know….the Giants….) but the home cooking and the team that knows how to weasel into the playoffs and win the games that mattered last year finds a way again here….it won’t be pretty, but it will be nasty!
Game Quality: *** ½ (always a good bloodbath!)
Sunday December 1:
Tampa Bay at Carolina:
Thank you schedule Gods!!! I’m tired of this Tampa Bay winning stuff and fools talking about Schiano being able to weasel and worm his slimy way into keeping his job, playing teams more pathetic then your own (and fluking the Lions) should not be enough reason to come back next year….now they get to get their faces mashed in by the hottest team in the NFC, division rivals (we remember how serious Carolina takes this with that Steve Smith/Talib “ice up” comment)….and Carolina has a bull’s eye shoved right up the Saints’ ass (hopefully aimed at Rob Ryan, that man’s largeness could surely take an arrow…or 12)….Carolina’s defense shuts down the running game, reminds everyone Glennon is still a rookie and gets it done!
Game Quality: * ½
Jaguars at Browns:
Oh dear, the world is truly ending….the Jags have the EDGE in QB with Chad Henne over Joss Wheedon (who’s done as good a job with the Browns as the famous guy is doing with Agents of SHIELD *grumble* )…the Browns do sport the better defense, but it’s amazing like the Raiders once you mention “playoff hunt” they folded like an off-suit 2/7 when the dummy next to you goes all in….and what annoys me MORE about this, Jacksonville wins (yes their city took them back since they are the least embarrassing team in the state of Florida…) and the Schiano’s probably get the top spot in the draft….but they are the better team here….might have to keep an eye on this mess since it could get ugly…..
Game Quality: * ¾
Tennessee at Indianapolis:
A match-up of “God help us if the season ended now these two teams playing like summertime dog poo would be in the playoffs”….to say the Colts have been struggling since Reggie Wayne went down and joined me in the gimpy knee club is truly and understatement…the Titans haven’t been much better since Jake Locker got snakebit yet again… the Titans allow 115 yards per game….you’d think that would be good for Trent Richardson….HA…well it’s good for Donald Brown at least….Jim Irsay is making idiot tweets again this week….so hopefully the Colts step up just to shut their idiot owner up! Plus the Titans are awful too…don’t watch this unless you’re trying to win a high money bet
Game Quality: DUD
Bears at Vikings:
Before I start the REAL winner here is fantasy owners who have AP, the Bears couldn’t stop me before rehab if I was running (or as close as I can get to it) the football 145 YARDS A GAME….yikes!!! Both these teams have been horrid of late…and oddly enough it’s not because Jay Cutler went down, the Bears offense has been solid (some even say better) under McCown…but the defense is all sorts of beat up….leaky against the run (I rejoice and keep Mr Peterson in my starting line-up)….as bad as the Bears defense has been….so has the Viking offense under rotating QB’s and shaky TE and WR play….looks like they’ve settled on Christian Plunder….for now (I’d be amazed if we don’t see Freeman again in a few weeks), and I do think a few players on this team (yes I mean you Jared Allen) have punched out on this season for the Vikings….and the Bears are still in this mess they call the NFC North …speaking of… 6-5, 6-5, 5-5-1, 2-8-1 and people crap on the NFC East?? CMON peoples……
Game Quality: * ¾
Miami at NY Jets:
Oh boy…the unblockable offensive line meets the incomplete-able QB…this could be painful, but amusing….both teams do play good defense, but neither one generates a ton of turnovers…speaking of….hey there Geno Smith….he does truly look not only overwhelmed, but he looks like he’s bringing rocks to a gun fight (and with the Jet TE and WR play he truly is, 188 passing yards a game is a telling stat)….Miami may not be much better (especially when it comes to running the ball), but they have some weapons and when Tannehill has some time he can fling it….he even found Mike Wallace some last week….Miami can’t run on ANYONE so they probably won’t try against the Jets…the bad news is the weather forecast doesn’t smile upon throwing the ball 55 times, but the Jets are just simply too mistake-prone to convince me to win this one….
Game Quality: bad weather, worse football, unleash the anti-football meter!!!
Arizona at Phily:
Holy crap, back in the day the Phoenix Cardinals were in the NFC East….if that day was now…they’d be in first damned place….that’s a depressing thought….time to start talking Bruce Arians for the coach of the year (none of that sharing garbage this year)…amazing what adequate QB play can get you (and you should be getting better from an experienced QB like Palmer out there, but he’s still chucking an INT per game), a bit of rushing from Ellington….an improved defense….and Arizona is the shock team in the NFC (I think we all expected this to be the Rams)….don’t look now, ever since Nick Foles took over things are coming together perfectly there…even the defense is getting better (20, 13 and 16 points allowed in the last three games)….a balanced offense and confidence all over….add in a trip east for the Cardinals and the early game….that’s a lot for Arizona to overcome….and I’m riding Foley is Good all the way down the fantasy football stretch!
Game Quality: ** ½ (East Coast travel, bad weather, all that jazz)
New England at Houston:
This has classic New England beatdown without mercy or remorse written all over it…the luster is coming off Case Keenum (and why he was undrafted in the first place), Ben Tate has stunk filling in for Arian Foster….most teams playing this game you’d call it a trap or a letdown game….one thing about the Patriots…they don’t play that….New England might win this one by 40 by the time its over…and maybe FINALLY Gary Kubiak gets fired (it may be “mean” to say after his stroke…but he’s been a rotten coach for a long time now and it’s time to GO…)
Game Quality: DUD (this will be a savage run it up beating…)
Atlanta at Buffalo via Toronto:
THE TORONTO MAPLE BILLS RIDE AGAIN!!!! Though it was pretty dumb to take a team in the South who plays in a dome and not expose them to the nasty December Buffalo weather….they lucked out in the fact that Atlanta just can’t play football ANYWHERE right now…the Julio dance all but ruined the season for the Falcons and some idiot 4th Down decisions by Mike Smith (and is there a worse 4th Down coach in football than Mike Smith?)…the Bills have a pass rush, a running game and as long as EJ Manuel doesn’t turn into JP Losman, Trent Richardson, or worse….the Bills got this…
Game Quality: * (Atlanta is just HORRIBLE)
Rams at 49ers:
Oh boy….believe it or not, the Rams are actually playing VERY strong football …winning games in the trenches…punching you in the face…even getting brothers to almost fight during their games…the running game has finally found itself and they might be getting better QB play from Kellen Clemmens then Bradford was giving them….just a thought…and yes the Niners looked like an NFL team on Monday….that’s because they played the Redskins…quite possibly the most inept thing in Washington this side of Obama Care …I’m still not sold on this pile the 49ers call an “offense” (though I am loving the Vernon Davis production)….the Rams played them tough as hell last year when the 49ers were GOOD….the Rams got whipped 35-11 in round 1, but this is a different Rams team….my only worry is the Rams secondary is playing a lot of backups….but I just don’t believe in San Fran right now and I’m thinking they MIGHT just miss the playoffs this year….
Game Quality: **** (don’t sell this short, it will be awesome!)
Denver at Chiefs:
It’s amazing how a rematch two weeks later has totally had the luster ripped off of it and put back into almost “who cares” land??? How do the Broncos recover from a choke effort that even made Tony Romo and Scott Norwood reach for their inhalers last week? Is a two game losing streak enough to send the Chiefs into a tailspin? (though 9-7 still locks up a playoff spot for them…ha)…this is a tough one to figure out at this point….if the Chiefs pass rushers can’t play they’re dead plain and simple….their corners suck if they have to cover for more than like 3 seconds (there’s a reason I call Flowers “toast” after all…even Chiefs Guy 2.0 has taken up the name!), and this Chiefs offense isn’t built to run with those kinda horses (bad Bronco pun intended)….but will the Broncos feel safe with ANY lead in this game?? Also gotta keep in mind the injury pile on the Denver defense too….but still it’s an intriguing watch since it’s rare two 9-2 teams have a “must” game even if for their own psyche….
Winner: Denver (I reserve the right to change this if the pass rushers play)
Game Quality: **
Cincinnati at San Diego:
At least we get a good set of 4pm games this week!! This is a big game…the Chargers look ready to have their old school Norv Turner run at the end of the season to make the playoffs push (and yes 3 teams COULD come from the AFC West now) …a big win taking advantage of the numbed out Chiefs pass rush…home to face the limping and struggling Bengals….yes they beat up Cleveland…but that’s Cleveland…they lost two in a row before that and ever since Geno Atkins went down the Bengals look ripe for the picking….and San Diego has the offense and the passing game to do this to anyone…their D can be beat through the air….but does anyone not named Steve Laflamme trust the Bengals to do that?? I don’t….call it an upset but I love the home cooking here….
Game Quality: ***
NY Giants at Redskins:
What in the HELL was NBC thinking flexing this disaster??? (Shoulda took Cinci and SD, I know not “Glory Teams” but NBC can put a good game on and talk Cindy Crosby all night just like they do for their NHL games)…lucky for the Giants (and amazing how this Coughlin run has been defined by absurdly good luck at the biggest moments of the season isn’t it??)…and then we have the Redskins….o-line guys not scraping their QB off the ground (reminds me of the Theismann days)…people crying that RG2 was in the locker room….reports of film room issues…the Redskins are a disaster and hopefully this means the end of the Shanahan Errors in DC….this is the kinda team the Giants have been feasting on during this “comeback” of theirs….
Winner: Giants (frakers will NOT die)
Game Quality: ** (the fans turning on RG III could be entertaining)
Monday November 26:
Saints at Seattle:
Now THIS is a football game peoples!!! Home Field in the NFC likely on the line here….the Saints have the Panthers nipping at their heels, and Seattle’s been on cruise control all season….things just seemed to be going Seattle’s way…and now half their secondary “magically” now all fails wellness tests on the week of the biggest game of the year?? Amazing how the NFL seems to do this…and ONLY to Seattle…hhmmm….the Saints also don’t score on the road (16, 26, 27, 20, 13 in their road games) and Seattle is the best home field in all of football…not to mention we all still remember the birth of Beast Mode against these same Saints….to quote a lil Hunger Games (still need to get out and see the sequel)…the odds are ever in Seattle’s favor here…I just like the numbers and the match up too much….
Game Quality: *****
NFL Power Rankings Week 11:
- New England….I kinda just gotta….
- Denver….nice to see Peyton in playoff form J
- Kansas City…losing their DE’s is like any team losing their QB
- Bengals….not seeing them for a week makes them look better
- Colts…ummm, good Lord, just cause there ain’t no one else….
- Seattle….gearing up for the big one Monday….
- Carolina….if this was NBA Jam they’d be spewing flames….
- New Orleans…only beat Atlanta by 4? CMON!!!
- Dallas…biggest win of Dumbo’s career?
- Eagles….finally named a starting QB!