So, don’t tell me you didn’t watch all those snow-filled football games and thought “damn this is the coolest thing EVER”….you know you did….and with big Mama Nature threatening to snow us all in for my Birthday Week (poor Jamie…she won’t even give herself a day for herself unless I make her….now she has to deal with my raging ego on overdrive for a damn week….ha!)…scary to think that we only got three Sundays left of this….but enjoy them!!(well except Brian, I hope him a very miserable fantasy football Sunday and two weeks in a row of lying down ), I better hurry up and write this before the Shanahan’s put me on the bench for the rest of the season now that my knee is doing better too…..
Thursday Dec 12th:
San Diego at Denver:
Gee thanks NFL….I get the “gift” of Peyton Manning ass kissing to start my birthday with when this game ends tonight….I’m thrilled….I’d rather see Texans/Jags III personally (that game was fun in its own way last week)…this game will be too, the Chargers can put up points as well as anyone and Phillip Rivers has been pretty good….but they don’t got the guns to run with the Mannings all game long, they’ll stay in the firefight…just run out of damned bullets….
Game Quality: Anti-Football GLORIOUSNESS!!!!
Sunday December 15th:
REDSKINS at Atlanta:
Oh mmmyyy!! This was gonna be a special kinda anti-football on its own…then Mike Shanahan took his sh!t to NEW levels of douchery on us….so let me get this right: in the playoffs last year when Griffin was hurting, you left him out there until Seattle all but ripped his legs off….you let a second year QB with no training camp reps and his own unsureness in his knee go out there and play in the first month when he obviously wasn’t fully ready….but NOW…when he’s as healthy as he can be, and NEEDS the reps for next season….NOW you sit him down and play Kirk Fraking Cousins!?!!? What the sh!t?!?!?!? And people wonder why I hate this little weasel!!! (I am in the camp of the theory that this is to showcase Cousins so they can trade him in the off-season and get back some of those picks they invested in Griffin in the first place to get some defensive players to fix this team…)….but I can’t see a team coming out and playing for a dead coach walking, who’s now spiting his own nose, and an Atlanta team which has showed up to play the last few weeks….and hell the Rams need more top 5 picks in this year’s draft, right?? J
Game Quality: the mother of ALL anti-football!!
49ers at Tampa Bay:
Grrr…dammit….with AP likely out this Sunday I was hoping to put Bobby Rainey in and get a good game out of him….and then I saw the 49ers coming to town…yeah they MIGHT let down a little after slaying the Seattle Dragon (barely)…..but Colin Kapernick is still trying to get used to having all his toys ready and healthy for the playoffs (THROW TO VERNON DAVIS please…kthxbyebye!)….with three tougher games left for Tampa, maybe we can finally nail this coffin in Schiano and send him sliming back to an irrelevant chump school like Rutgers where a buffoon like him belongs, that would be a sweet birthday gift actually….a Schiano pink slip!! (or for certain people to replace the nice chair in my living room that was broken on Monday night from over-use )
Game Quality: DUD
Seattle at NY Giants:
The Giants only beat bad teams…..Seattle is the best team in football….to quote Stan Lee… ‘nuff said!! Seattle gets over their butthurt from last week pretty quickly…moving along….maybe Eli throws more INT’s then the Giants get in points….
Game Quality: DUD
Eagles at Minnesota:
The Eagles get to dust all that glorious snow and mess off their gear and at least play indoor football this week against the Vikings…who had it all in their hands last week with the Ravens and just fell a bit short of the bowl in their offensive pissing contest in Baltimore next week….now the big question here is Adrian Peterson….will he?? I’m gonna assume not….I don’t get breaks like that after all….well I guess maybe I did, since I did get Nick Foles for Donnie Avery in the trade of the year for me….the Eagles have everything going right now….and Nick Foles doesn’t throw INT’s unless it’s a winter wonderland out there….and lord only knows who will be handing the ball off…and running with it (as bad as Josh Freeman was a month ago….isn’t it time to see if he was worth the $3 million you gave him??)….the Eagles pull this out and maybe put Dallas out of my misery BEFORE week 17 even hits…..
Game Quality: ** (just on the injury carousel in Minnesota)
New England at Miami:
Wow…this game has HUGE implications….almost as big as the holes and problems on both teams….but if this follows the formula of late (funny how the NE football team takes after the NE wrestler and gets their ass kicked, then becomes Super-Cena….give moves of doom, an onside kick recover and a crappy PI call later and Super-Brady hits the F-U on the Browns)…my God Miami has even had a shell of a running game the last few weeks, Daniel Thomas even cracked a 100 yards for the first time since Chris McCabe did it in Madden 12 with him (I’m still baffled at how THAT happened)…no doubt the Patriot offense is gonna be hurting without Gronk…but Shane Vereen has been playing well since his return (and made Ridley very benchable in NE), and the Pats only put up 27 points with Gronk last time and at home (sad that the NFL has regressed to a point that 27 points is considered “only”)….the Pats shouldn’t be able to expose the O-Line in Miami (which again, does seem to be improving without the Bully Victim of the Millenia, notice how FAST this story has gone away since Martin seems in the wrong..hmmm)….and there’s only so many times Brady can pull the Superman act in a row after all….
Game Quality: ****
Bills at Jaguars:
Oh dear….this is a tough one….the Bills stay in Florida to play THE hottest team in the AFC…yes really….the Jaguars are playing hard, and playing well….and this is in spite Chad Henne being their QB….imagine if this team ever had a real QB…they’d be the reals! Now the Bills are reeling too…EJ Manuel is struggling again and this team may be in a bit of shock still after blowing it to Atlanta in the Toronto Bowl and basically wrecking their own playoff chances….maybe a win or two and Jacksonville lets them use the city name again even…they are the team playing better and looking like they have something for next year (hell give Manuel those WRs and see how good he becomes), or maybe I can just do the damn Bills a favor and give up on them so they surprise us this week…..don’t really need to…scary as it sounds….Jacksonville is playing too well now to pick against them…..no joke!
Game Quality: ** ( I do enjoy those Bills though!)
Houston at Indianapolis:
And the reboot begins in Houston (FINALLY) Gary Kubiak is fired…like 5 years too late….and now Wade Phillips gets to hug it out and play out the season while the GM and beyond look for the guy who’s gonna get a high first round draft pick next season to re-start this franchise….Houston has looked like a team that’s mailed it in since Kubiak tapped out on the sideline before the half….the Colts are a mess too, the line can’t block, the defense looks out of gas aside of the two pass rushers….but Andrew Luck is still getting it done, despite no one not named Hilton helping him out on offense…with KC and Jacksonville left on the schedule…this might be the only gimmie left for the Colts…they’d BETTER take advantage….
Game Quality: * ½ (not exciting but not anti-football worthy)
Bears at Cleveland:
The Browns might still be reeling after blowing that game to the Pats after the 2:00 warning last week….and it doesn’t matter who the QB is for the Bears this week (I’d contend McNown is the right guy and would be considered the QB of the future if he wasn’t 35 already…he’s done an AMAZING job…heh…comeback of the year maybe?), the Browns do have a scrappy defense and Josh Gordon will get his yards like he always does….but the Bears have too much and need this game too much for the Browns to get in their way….hell Cleveland might feel like summer compared to the weather in Chicago last Monday even!!! Plus the Browns have lost four in a row….business as usual there….
Game Quality: *** (there’s some good weapons and matchups here!)
Chiefs at Raiders:
BIG game for the Chiefs….with the Colts (probable playoff opponent) and San Diego on the schedule, the bleeding was stopped thanks to the REDSKINS last week, and now it’s time to show things are back to they were a month ago in KC..I think the Raiders also might have tapped out on this season after last week (a bunch of the bottom-feeder teams seem to have done that….)…as long as Rashard Jennings plays and gets his yards that’s all I’m gonna ask from the Raiders….they don’t have the long-term QB on the roster, and while the Raiders do have receivers…like I said…they’ve packed it in….Chiefs now get to smile and feel better like a lot of teams do this week….
Game Quality: DUD (Raiders seem out of gas)
Jets at Panthers:
The Panthers get to go home…lick their wounds….fix their offense and unleash their defense on Geno Smith and the Jet offense….It’s really hard if not damned near impossible to make a legit case for the Jets to win this one….this has mismatch written all over it…anything the Jets try to do, Carolina does better…too much defense…too many players on offense….special teams….you name it….Carolina gets their “football chicken soup” Sunday afternoon….
Winner: Carolina (this is the “feel more betterer” game)
Game Quality: DUD
Green Bay at Dallas:
Will A-Rod go??? Does it really matter??? Matt Flynn is fully capable of leading the Packer offense and Eddie Lacy against this pathetic joke Jerry Jones calls “a defense” (hey look on the bright side, after having the worst defense of all time, you can always fire the DC and bring in Rob Ryan did after he was fired from….oh….yeah… *sulk* ), not saying the Packer defense is much better…but at least their premier pass rusher actually shows up in the big spot…It is December and the Cowboys tent folding has begun (it’s not on the quarterback….least not yet)….and all Dallas really needs to do is win the 2 NFC East games they have left (assuming Phily doesn’t sweep Min and Chi as well)…and save the big collapse for the annual Week 17 disaster…I can’t even get upset or rant and rave about this….unless it kills Jerry Jones….or negates the blackmail pics that Jason Garrett has (or Jerry has a ginger-fetish…)…yeah…go Pack go…..least this should be high scoring…..
Winner: Packers (I could start for GB and throw for 350 )
Game Quality: ** ½
Cardinals at Titans:
Don’t look now but at 8-5 Arizona is sniffing the wild card spots in the NFC only one game behind Carolina and San Fran…and a game left with the 49ers in the bank (the bad news is that they go to Seattle before they host the Niners…) that makes this a MUST win for the Cardinals….the passing game is improving and the Titans have lost 4 of 5, and just haven’t been very good since Jake Locker was put on IR…it’s really tough to make a case for them….and besides my fantasy greed of pulling for Larry Fitz…it would be fun to see Arizona keep this Wild Card thing interesting as long as possible (and tank da God I made the best of 5 wins or less with the Cardinals….LAST YEAR….come to think of it….I got stiffed on my free dinner at Grillstone….dammit….it sucks having deadbeat and borderline split personality ridden friends doesn’t it…) anyway…Arizona should have no trouble in Tennessee at all….
Game Quality: * ¾ (meh…..)
Saints at Rams:
I think the entire Rams staff has stopped caring about football and is doing two things… 1. HEAVY draft scouting …. 2. Pulling out the REDSKIN voodoo dolls and laughing as this Shanahan mess makes that team implode even more…..enter the Saints who need this game to all but lock up the NFC South and at least the 2-seed in the NFC…the Rams secondary is a mess too….translation: this is NOT the week to be going against Drew Brees in fantasy football….just hope he leaves the dopey jean commercials and his stupid wife’s yoga pants at home….this won’t be a close game…..
Winner: Saints (Drew Brees + Dome = ass kicking)
Game Quality: DUD
Bengals at Steelers:
Not the best of games to pick this week for NBC…the Steelers are all but done and Big Ben puts up lil man numbers against the Bengals D….maybe Bob Costas can whine for three hours about the evils of Mike Tomlin standing on the sideline and messing with the integrity of the game…no…wait, that would be talking football!!! The Bengals did impress last week in putting down the Colts (not without a helluva fight from Andrew Luck mind you)….and I get the feeling this week will be much of the same this week…especially if AJ Green gets free again….
Game Quality: **
Monday November 26:
Ravens at Lions:
This is a rough one to figure out….the Ravens are AWFUL on the road (1-5)…the Lions are decent at home (4-2, but should be better for a playoff team)….and are just glad they have a roof over their heads and Calvin Johnson doesn’t get a damned snow shower all game long this week…there’s been some smack talk between Calvin-Tron and some fool Raven safeties who wanna be made famous….they’re gonna get their wish…nothing like firing up the other team’s offense when your own team needs an atomic bomb to get their offense up to meager pop-gun status….I was thinking this a toss-up game, but the more I think about it and break it down as I type….the more I’m liking the Lions (and hell the NFC is better anyway after all….)
Game Quality: ** ¾
NFL Power Rankings Week 11:
- Denver…Maybe tossing awful pizza dough will make him play in the cold
- New England….one last week up top…
- Cincinnati …..a nice win at least…
- Ravens.... someone owes a ref a reach-around me thinks….
- Chiefs….beating Washington makes you one step better than Indy for now
- Seattle….still the man….
- New Orleans….still the man ….at home…..
- Eagles…One snow plow closer to winning the NFC East….
- 49ers….can they get the new toys ready in time??
- Carolina….cheer up…it’s the Jets this week!!!