Holy crap….I almost forgot about this thing until in the middle of a Madden 25 game we started talking about that “leading with the helmet” penalty that NEVER got called in a live NFL game this season (at least that I can remember….and see shocking, an anti-offense call not getting called….I’m almost amazed)….anyway…..this is always a bitter sweet type of week this week…yeah it’s great and awesome to see all those games and teams with stuff on the line….but ANTI-FOOTBALL GOES AWAY UNTIL NEXT SEPTEMEBER (well the AFC crap teams in the playoffs might object to that)…..and that’s a sad thing…..get out your playoff scenario depth charts and your wacko week 17 Fantasy projections…..and lets embrace this last true week of football!!!
Sunday December 29:
Carolina at Atlanta:
I’d usually just crap on the Falcons and move on with it….but the Falcons did play one HELL of a football game last week and deserved better then a fluke interception (and an unneeded run back into the end zone….damn game was over dude….FALL DOWN) to make what was a tight game into a deceiving blowout….so I’ll give Atlanta some credit to especially do that on the road in a game of such meaning to their ex-rivals in San Fran, but that aside….this is a crowning moment for the Panthers too…..Cam Newton had his MAN UP moment to beat the Saints last week, and the Falcons are looking to next season anyway, this was as forgettable a season as an NFL team can have in Atlanta….
Game Quality: **
Baltimore at Cincinnati:
Probably the biggest game at 1…and also the one a bunch of those AFC dominos fall with….if the Ravens lose, it’s purple tears and Anquain Boldin worship for the Ravens, and the Bengals get a possible bye (or the misfortune of playing the 6-seed in the AFC, as much as I crap on the AFC, that 6-seed is gonna be a pain in the neck with some big wins under their belt)…the Bengals haven’t lost at home this year, the Ravens are 2-5 on the road this year (I refuse to talk about Flacco’s knee boo-boo, if I can skate ten days after my surgery, he can bitch around on his little brace too *pfbbbtttt* )….and I’m sure the Bengals would love NOTHING more than flipping the off switch on the dreaded Purple Haze….
Game Quality: *** ½
Jacksonville at Indianapolis:
Somehow the Colts are still playing for a bye here (win + Cin and NE losses), while the Jags have been just fighting to be respectable and end the year off with some hope for once….sadly that hope floats around Chad Henne (who would be a nice mentor for a real QB next year) ….a loss today puts them at 4-12 and actually gives them the #3 pick and a chance at one of those guys…plus Indy owns their division….that’s what they do…..
Game Quality: DUD
NY Jets at Miami:
Miami does have the path of least resistance to the 6-spot in the AFC (no not a Jets joke here….just they win, they’re in…no math, no protractors…..no magic formulas or plane crashes….a victory is all it takes)…the Jets had their message game last week in the “playing for the coach” effort….and are 1-6 on the road too…oi…. Geno Smith is due for one of those “bad Geno” days….and Cromartie’s saying dumb things over the course of the week….and Miami should be VERY fired up after that sh!tter they left on the grill in Buffalo last week….if Miami doesn’t win this....it’s time to consider SERIOUS changes…
Game Quality: ***
Detroit at Minnesota:
One of the few games that means totally NOTHING….well besides the coaches for both teams trying to hand out resumes and business cards to any football man with a pulse (anyone who even lets Jim Schwartz in their facility after the horror show he created in Detroit is madness….and unlike the last failure in Detroit, there’s no Matt Millen cushy TV job to fall back on….well maybe….NBC does like to hire untalented bores for their announce teams)….no Adrian Peterson…probably no Calvin Johnson…. *sigh* anti-football….you will be missed….how the hell do I pick a winner here?? The Vikings are worse but they do play with more brains and guts….ah …screw it….let’s send Schwartz out the RIGHT WAY…..
Game Quality: ** (the finale to anti-football *sulk* )
Washington at NY Giants:
Boy here’s another stinker too….Mike Shanahan’s packed his lil I-Pad away in his office and he’s ready to slime on to probably an ESPN job or something (again no way I’d trust him with my young QB and star running back after this season….watch, Jerry will hire him….oi)…the Redskins are just a mess everywhere….and they traded away their top pick which was SUPPOSED to be the reward for this bad season…HA….the Giants on the other hand showed some pride and the ability to beat a cluster-frakked team…even if it takes overtime in Detroit….and 7-9 is a nifty turnaround from the 0-6 start….plus they have pride….something Washington doesn’t…..
Game Quality: *¾
Cleveland at Pittsburgh:
Well if two planes crash and a 3rd team bus crashes and Mike Tomlin makes a public apology for his side line stunt….then MAYBE the Steelers have a playoff shot….so in other words…not really….but I think the Steelers have had a single game that has more yards rushing then Willis McGahee who “leads” the Browns in rushing with 371…oi, I’d make a joke about them needing a back and trading Richardson….but McGahee was an upgrade and that extra pick is gonna look SWEET in April….all they need now is a legit back (they can get anywhere in the draft next year)….and a QB (maybe Brian Hoyer is still that guy though?)….and this Browns team will be kinda fun next year
Game Quality: **
Packers at Bears:
This one is for the NFC North Championship too…and both teams should send Christmas AND Thank You Cards to the Lions for totally blowing this division that was handed to him on QB injured, no-defense playing silver platters!)…the question for the Packers is health….Clay Matthews is no, A-Rod is a yes and the important one…..Eddie Lacy should be a GO as well…if Lacy plays, that’s an unstoppable weapon that the Bears can do nothing about….and yes the Bears offense is good…but they’re running the wrong QB….McNown was better at spreading the ball, and not taking bad sacks (Cutler cost the Bears at least two field goals before Bob Costas put me in an unrecoverable coma during the halftime show)….and Cutler also gets a “Brandon Marshall lock” which is very interception-prone…I’m concerned about A-Rod’s ring rust, but the Bears defense should be the perfect solution….
Game Quality: *** (NONE shall play defense!)
Bills at Patriots:
The Bills may have found their QB….in Thad Lewis…the dude can gun it, he’s mobile and he makes plays….at the least he’ll be good competition for EJ Manuel next season as well and the Bills can focus on some more weapons around them, a few linebackers and a replacement for Byrd in the secondary….maybe the Bills are going in the right direction??? All things are indeed possible…hell there was a time it looked hopeless for New Orleans for a few decades too…the Pats…it’s business as usual here…Brady is 26-2 or something stupid like that vs the Bills and just as absurd in December and a win gets them a badly needed week off to re-group and patch all the non-QB holes they got…I’d love to see the Bills and that pass rush keep it interesting…but I’m not banking on it…
Game Quality: **
Tampa Bay at New Orleans:
GOOD BYE GREG SCHIANO!!! Don’t worry about the door hitting you….JUST USE IT!!! Another epic FAIL campaign, was just as predictable as his old team playing in some irrelevant Toilet Bowl game hidden on Saturday Afternoon….the Saints need this not only to forget their last two road games…but to actually MAKE the playoffs and get some momentum for their road game next week (that they’ll probably lose)…but please, Drew Brees ….pad those stats, you only need 220 yards to break 5,000….again…. remember when that was hard to do?? Yeah….I should keep an eye on this one just to wave and sing BYE BYE to the Schianos!!!
Game Quality: *** (one extra star to wave goodbye to Schiano with!!!)
St Louis at Seattle
Heh.....forgettable game eh?? Well making fun of myself aside....any time the NFC West teams lock up...it usually tends to be good....except for St Louis (1-4 in the division)...the Rams are playing better winning two in a row...but Kellen Clemens vs an angry Seattle defense that still picked Palmer four times in a losing effort....the Rams D-Line should be a pain in the neck for the Seattle O-Line and Lynch may not have a a heavy workload with the bye week and all looming....Seattle won't slip twice in a row at home either....the Rams are really close to not only being good, but making the division just ridiculous....
Game Quality: **
49ers at Arizona:
It’s a damn shame Arizona is gonna come up one week short of making the playoffs this year….Bruce Arians has done a HELL of a job with no running game, a washed up Carson Palmer and a pretty good and underrated defense….so much for this division being the joke it was 3-4 years ago right?....The Niners struggled a LOT more than they should have last week….the Niners are in regardless and should be able to have a good idea if they have a chance at the NFC West during this game and could be sitting their starters as soon as they know something one way or the other (plus once New Orleans goes up 30 on the Schiano’s, the Cardinals are done and they can fold it in too)….but 11-5 is still rare air for a non-playoff team…they can go throw beer cans at the NFC North, East and all of the AFC
Game Quality: ***
Denver at Oakland:
They wanted to take away one of Peyton Manning’s TDs last week for a juggle and an incomplete….it doesn’t matter….he’ll throw five in the first half before he’s rested for his annual playoff FAIL….the Raiders had a nice team for a while…but lack of depth, salary cap hell and other things they had no choice but to get through were the story of the Raiders this year (as well as Darren McFadden being the glassiest back in football)…least next year HOPEFULLY they keep the coach and give it a real try next year…
Game Quality: DUD
Phily at Dallas:
Here…..let me go back to my NFC East preview to discuss this game….”Dallas Cowboys, projected record: X-Y, where X is the amount of wins needed to make the playoffs MINUS ONE, cause that’s what they do….they blow it in the last week EVERY time”….and here we are….Week 17….no Dumbo (he finally broke his back carrying that idiot coach of his)….the no-stop defense (can they PLEASE go back to a 3-4, its even messing stuff up in Madden too)…yes the Cowboys were the only team to shut down Nick Foles (that 17-3 win a thousand years ago)…but Sean Lee is out too, and the next time Demarcus Ware steps up and takes over a game will be his FIRST…the Eagles are too good on all sides of the ball and the Cowboy defense is pulling no miracles (and this is with Jamie coming and Dallas even being 3-0 when she watches with me….how I pulled that off on a Giants fan was pure genius, especially with two of those wins being the Giants ) …..the only thing that pisses me off is that “the age of Orton” is gonna give Garrett a free pass and ONE MORE YEAR of the same old garbage….can Orton please RKO Garrett through a flaming table?
Game Quality: **
Week 16 Power Rankings:
1. Denver…running it up and padding stats before the playoff collapse
2. Cincinnati….the most balanced team in the AFC, and maybe getting a week off
3. New England…they may not have much else, but the QB and the coach gets you far
4. Indy….has some pieces, but the offense runs out of steam in big spots….
5. San Diego…best team in the AFC to probably not make it….
1. Seattle….still shocked they LOST last week….
2. Carolina….peaking at the perfect time?
3. San Fran….the weapons are there, but I don’t trust the QB
4. Arizona….wrong division….wrong season…. wrong confernce
5. Saints….in DEEP doo doo though…..
Edited by CRASHER, 28 December 2013 - 10:18 PM.