Jump to content

Photo

Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers


  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#1 SC Devs Fan

SC Devs Fan

    The News Guy

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,316 posts

Posted 14 July 2010 - 08:55 AM

Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers

http://www.digitaljo.../article/294453

A Chinese news publication has reported that the Taliban are training monkeys to shoot and kill American soldiers. As one publication stated, either the news outlet was pranked or has nabbed an outrageous scoop.
The coalition forces in Afghanistan have some of the most sophisticated weaponry in the world. NATO powers in the region have everything from fighter jets to dangerous weapons to highly trained combat soldiers.
But the Taliban is supposedly investing in monkeys. That is what the the People’s Daily, a newspaper owned by the Chinese government, is reporting. According to Friday’s report, based on British intelligence, the Taliban is recruiting monkeys, and training them to use weapons and fight against American troops. American military intelligence experts are calling them “monkey terrorists.”
Reporters in the Waziristan tribal area, the Afghanistan-Pakistan border region, have allegedly taken photos of “monkey soldiers” holding AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns.
  • 0
"There is money in the banana stand"

George Bluth

#2 Neb00rs

Neb00rs

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,636 posts

Posted 14 July 2010 - 09:48 PM

Report: Taliban training monkeys to fight against U.S. soldiers

Teachers should have higher IQ's than their students. So, this will never work.

Edited by ben00rs, 14 July 2010 - 09:50 PM.

  • 0

gallery_47_36_882.png of No One
Proud to be King of the Kovalnuts (Est. June 2010 by MantaRay)


#3 devilsadvoc8

devilsadvoc8

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,822 posts

Posted 19 July 2010 - 07:48 PM

:rolleyes:
  • 0
Official Keeper of the 3 story statue of a hockey player by the artist J. Krawczyk.
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence- Christopher Hitchens

ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

#4 HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD

    Senior Devil

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 660 posts

Posted 20 July 2010 - 11:17 AM


  • 0

#5 Devilsfan118

Devilsfan118

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,276 posts

Posted 20 July 2010 - 04:05 PM

Teachers should have higher IQ's than their students. So, this will never work.


Ba-zing.

But seriously though...I hope this is a joke
  • 0

rsz_2ru-uc9709.jpg

Rutgers:  The Birthplace of College Football

First B1G Season: 7-5


#6 avs21

avs21

    Draft Pick

  • Members
  • 4 posts

Posted 20 July 2010 - 11:36 PM

Where's Warren the Ape? I'm pretty sure he would fill that role very perfectly.
  • 0

#7 Hi, I'm VALUE!

Hi, I'm VALUE!

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,566 posts

Posted 21 July 2010 - 12:18 PM

I thought all dogs and cats had to die before apes became servants.

Kill any monkey who calls himself Caesar on sight!
  • 0
VOTE CRASHER FOR LADY BYNG 2011!

2008 NJDevs Fantasy Football Champion
Co-winner of the 2008-2009 UnderdogX Signature Award (Internet awards = serious business)


Devils Head Coach = More turnover than the Defense Against the Dark Arts post.


"congratulations, Value. Maximum Value was, apparantly, gaurenteed." -Martysb3tt3r

I will not remove this line from my signature until everyone alive realizes that
THE INTERNETS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS KTHXBYE~!

#8 grcenter47

grcenter47

    Assistant Coach

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,346 posts

Posted 21 July 2010 - 05:12 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPzBGE-2IaM&


wow i remember that :cheers:
  • 0

#9 Jimmy Leeds

Jimmy Leeds

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,392 posts

Posted 22 July 2010 - 07:04 AM

I thought THEY were monkeys?
  • 0
I DRINK LOU-AID
Posted Image

Posted Image

Kill Mumia

#10 Deke

Deke

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,391 posts

Posted 22 July 2010 - 07:26 AM

wouldn't a pack of monkeys trained to swarm and attack be more effective then ones with guns, i mean monkeys can be downright evil creatures a pack of two dozen or so rushing a base could fvck sh!t up real quick
  • 0
Go Carp, go!
Salmonbellies rule!
Hit 'em harder cops!
But a hockey team called the Mighty Ducks?
Aw, man.

#11 devilsadvoc8

devilsadvoc8

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,822 posts

Posted 22 July 2010 - 01:52 PM

They don't need ammo they just need their own poo
  • 0
Official Keeper of the 3 story statue of a hockey player by the artist J. Krawczyk.
That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence- Christopher Hitchens

ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

#12 Neb00rs

Neb00rs

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,636 posts

Posted 24 July 2010 - 12:04 AM

I thought THEY were monkeys?

As an animal-lover I am inusulted that you would degrade monkeys like that.
  • 0

gallery_47_36_882.png of No One
Proud to be King of the Kovalnuts (Est. June 2010 by MantaRay)


#13 Jimmy Leeds

Jimmy Leeds

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10,392 posts

Posted 24 July 2010 - 10:04 AM

As an animal-lover I am inusulted that you would degrade monkeys like that.

I must be racist towards monkeys to compare them to those swarthy murderers.
  • 0
I DRINK LOU-AID
Posted Image

Posted Image

Kill Mumia

#14 AEWHistory

AEWHistory

    Rookie Devil

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 351 posts

Posted 09 August 2010 - 11:59 PM

I thought THEY were monkeys?


Damn, you beat me to it. Seriously, they keep women locked up in their homes and murder virtually anyone who disagrees with them; no monkey would do that. Come to think of it, as a descendant of monkeys I resent the comparison!!! :yea:
  • 0
Aaron / AEWHistory --- Rockies/Devils fan since 1981!

Trenton Makes and the World Takes..... Or.... Trenton Uses What the World Refuses

#15 AEWHistory

AEWHistory

    Rookie Devil

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 351 posts

Posted 10 August 2010 - 12:05 AM

They don't need ammo they just need their own poo


No sh!t, really? That's a pretty crappy thing to do. Then again, I guess I'd be in a poopy mood if I were 'drekking' around the bowels of southern Asia throwing my feces around. Frankly, after all the walking, all you'd want is a nice firm stool... assuming one could be produced.


:P I'll keep my day job...

-Aaron
  • 0
Aaron / AEWHistory --- Rockies/Devils fan since 1981!

Trenton Makes and the World Takes..... Or.... Trenton Uses What the World Refuses

#16 devilsfan26

devilsfan26

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,801 posts

Posted 10 August 2010 - 12:57 AM

No sh!t, really? That's a pretty crappy thing to do. Then again, I guess I'd be in a poopy mood if I were 'drekking' around the bowels of southern Asia throwing my feces around. Frankly, after all the walking, all you'd want is a nice firm stool... assuming one could be produced.


:P I'll keep my day job...

-Aaron

That post reminded me of this
  • 0
"Swim against the tide, don't follow the group, stay away from the majority, seek out the fresh and new, stay away from the poseurs, and don't be a barnacle. Be original, be different, be passionate, be selfless and be free. Be a hockey fan."
--John Buccigross

#17 Jerrydevil

Jerrydevil

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,923 posts

Posted 13 August 2010 - 02:31 PM

That is one monkey movie I would pay to see. "Dunston Checks In, Infidels Check Out."
  • 0

#18 Neb00rs

Neb00rs

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 6,636 posts

Posted 15 August 2010 - 08:25 PM

That is one monkey movie I would pay to see. "Dunston Checks In, Infidels Check Out."

:lol: Nice.
  • 0

gallery_47_36_882.png of No One
Proud to be King of the Kovalnuts (Est. June 2010 by MantaRay)





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users