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Having a Death in the Family


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#1 grcenter47

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Posted 01 October 2010 - 11:07 AM

I just found out last night that my grandfather passed away but we werent as close due to the distance barrier. He lived in Miami. This means that on early Monday morning we have to fly to Florida for the services. My family wanted me to do a eulogy at the service. Has anyone ever done this before?
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#2 Quinn01

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Posted 01 October 2010 - 11:23 AM

My grandfather passed away a little more then a year ago. I was extremely close with him. It was tough so I am sorry for your loss, whether you were close with him or not it still is not a pleasant feeling. I did a talk at the church, a few of us did. My uncle made a point for it not to be a joke (my family makes fun of eachother and cracks jokes all the time esp during tough times) So I got up there and just went on about all the funny things that I remember and funny stories. I wanted to get everyone laughing because thats the kind of guy my grandfather was, he wouldnt have wanted people crying and being down. For me, it was easy because I grew up with him and I had alot of funny stories. For you, it may be a little harder just because you didnt really know him that well. I would suggest asking your mother (I am guessing it was her father) about funny things or interesting things that she remembers growing up and just talk about those. I have found that its always easier and means more to just speak from the heart. Good luck and again I am sorry for your/families loss Gabe.
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#3 grcenter47

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Posted 01 October 2010 - 11:30 AM

My grandfather passed away a little more then a year ago. I was extremely close with him. It was tough so I am sorry for your loss, whether you were close with him or not it still is not a pleasant feeling. I did a talk at the church, a few of us did. My uncle made a point for it not to be a joke (my family makes fun of eachother and cracks jokes all the time esp during tough times) So I got up there and just went on about all the funny things that I remember and funny stories. I wanted to get everyone laughing because thats the kind of guy my grandfather was, he wouldnt have wanted people crying and being down. For me, it was easy because I grew up with him and I had alot of funny stories. For you, it may be a little harder just because you didnt really know him that well. I would suggest asking your mother (I am guessing it was her father) about funny things or interesting things that she remembers growing up and just talk about those. I have found that its always easier and means more to just speak from the heart. Good luck and again I am sorry for your/families loss Gabe.


thanks man. yea i have never done a eulogy before, the most I have ever done at a funeral was being a pall bearer
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#4 Quinn01

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Posted 01 October 2010 - 11:38 AM

Just keep a cool head and write about how you feel.
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#5 Pepperkorn

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Posted 01 October 2010 - 12:40 PM

Well... was he born here or did he come over from Cuba? You don't have a lot of time -- but do some research. Think of it as a great opportunity to get to know your grandfather better. It's not too late to realize how you feel :) As you find out more about him you'll know the right thing to say. It's great they asked you to speak.
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#6 grcenter47

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Posted 03 October 2010 - 01:07 PM

Well... was he born here or did he come over from Cuba? You don't have a lot of time -- but do some research. Think of it as a great opportunity to get to know your grandfather better. It's not too late to realize how you feel :) As you find out more about him you'll know the right thing to say. It's great they asked you to speak.


born in Cuba but came to Florida in the 80's. The majority of my family is in Cuba, Florida, New Jersey and Spain. My family and I dont travel much due to money issues unless its a family emergency. i am leaving late tonight in the early mornings of monday apparently to save money. i am bring my laptop to catch up on homework so i will keep everyone updated. i have to do the eulogy speech monday night and the burial is tuesday so i will be back home wednesday night.
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#7 JWomp

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Posted 03 October 2010 - 01:11 PM

Good luck Gabe, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.
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#8 grcenter47

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 10:55 AM

thanks everybody... i arrived in Miami at around 5:30am and just woke up at the hotel. I brought my laptop to keep my mind off things. i have the eulogy speech and wake at 7pm.
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#9 grcenter47

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 04:45 PM

how long should a eulogy speech be? I timed mine and it was 3 minutes. I wasnt sure if there were any rules regarding eulogy speechs

Edited by grcenter47, 04 October 2010 - 05:14 PM.

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#10 Quinn01

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 05:12 PM

There is no limit to time. Just speak from the heart. Obviously it shouldnt be 30 min but just enough time to get your point across and say what you feel.
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#11 grcenter47

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 09:32 PM

Well I did the eulogy speech. It was pretty tough and I actually broke down during it when I saw some of my family cry. That is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. A few of my family members, my grandfather's friends, and the priest said it was good what I said. Tomorrow morning I have the burial and we should be leaving late tomorrow night or early tomorrow morning. Thank you everyone for the kind words
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#12 PattyElias26

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 09:48 PM

I'm sorry for your loss Gabe, he's lookin after you now man
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#13 Quinn01

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Posted 04 October 2010 - 10:24 PM

Good to hear you got through it Gabe. When I did my thing for my gramps, I was good until I saw my grams starting to get upset. Thats when I lost it. So I know how you feel. But glad to hear you got through it. It still doesnt make things any easier though.
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#14 overtime98

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Posted 05 October 2010 - 07:22 AM

Sorry for your loss....
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#15 grcenter47

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Posted 05 October 2010 - 03:22 PM

i just want to thank everyone again for the kind words. my flight leaves tonight so i will be home tomorrow morning.
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#16 LOTCB

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Posted 05 October 2010 - 03:27 PM

i just want to thank everyone again for the kind words. my flight leaves tonight so i will be home tomorrow morning.



First off I want to send you and your family my condolences, always a tough time for sure when losing a loved one.

Recently I lost a best friend of mine suddenly on September 12th, we have been best friends since we were 5 and he passed away at 36 years old. Besides flying back from California to New Jersey to be there it was very stressful, and I was asked to speak at the funeral and I can relate to how you must feel. The best advice I can give is really none and Ill explain: Just speak from the heart and that is what I did. While it was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, it just felt right to go about it that way.

I wish you the best and have a safe trip as well.

Edited by LOTCB, 05 October 2010 - 03:29 PM.

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#17 grcenter47

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Posted 05 October 2010 - 09:31 PM

First off I want to send you and your family my condolences, always a tough time for sure when losing a loved one.

Recently I lost a best friend of mine suddenly on September 12th, we have been best friends since we were 5 and he passed away at 36 years old. Besides flying back from California to New Jersey to be there it was very stressful, and I was asked to speak at the funeral and I can relate to how you must feel. The best advice I can give is really none and Ill explain: Just speak from the heart and that is what I did. While it was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, it just felt right to go about it that way.

I wish you the best and have a safe trip as well.


Thank you man that means a lot. I just arrived home not too long ago. We had to switch to an earlier flight.
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#18 Pepperkorn

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:53 PM

LOTCB - sorry about your loss too. Doesn't it suck? I'm losing one contemporary every fall the past two years -- hope the trend stops.
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#19 grcenter47

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 10:47 PM

LOTCB - sorry about your loss too. Doesn't it suck? I'm losing one contemporary every fall the past two years -- hope the trend stops.


It definitely hurts. Whenever I see my mother cry, it gets to me and its tough to hold back any tears. Five years ago I lost my other other grandfather, my 3 month old cousin, and the family cat all within 6 months. That was probably the worst year I ever had in my life

Edited by grcenter47, 07 October 2010 - 10:48 PM.

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