Six weeks into the NFL season….and for once the trading deadline has MEANT something… some players have moved this year which is rare (I’d like to thank the Browns for making my money league team better…. Trading Harrison to the Eagles makes him Dr. McCoy’s backup, something I was looking to do, and no way was I getting Mike Bell anyway)….and the damn season is already 1/3 over…*sigh*…and at an AWFUL 39-37 this year… yeah play the Kurt Angle theme cause people should yell YOU SUCK at me too…..Sunday Oct 17:
Atlanta at Phily:
So the Mike Vick revenge game won’t have Vick in it… most likely…. Interesting…I’m not fully convinced the Falcons are this OMG OMG NFC Super-Team… beating the Eagles would make them so though….not to mention it would add to the schizophrenic meltdowns in Phily, we won with Vick… now we win with Kolb OMG WHO DO WE FRONT-RUN FOR!!!! I do like the Eagle personnel better I think they match up nicely against the softer Atlanta front…. And hell, the NFC is a big old sh!t stew ANYWAY, might as well root for more chaos right???
Game Quality: ***
Seattle at Chicago:
Let’s see… Cutler’s playing… yeup… Seattle’s on the road…. Yep! This is a no-brainer!
Game Quality: * ¾
Browns at Steelers:
Oh man I was licking my chops for this game anyway… Big Ben comes back from his suspension (and isn’t it amazing how Big Ben is ACCUSED of something, and gets 4 games…. Brett Favre gets CAUGHT with his winkie in the cyber-land jar, and “well gee, we’ll look into it Brett” ….ah well I will get more into this later ….)….you get the QB back and an offense RARING to go…a defense that is still PIST from last year and the LOSS to Cleveland when last they played…. And if this isn’t piling it up enough… you’re throwing COLT McCOY to the fracking wolves to get digested like me in a long-distance relationship…. Holy sh!t this is gonna be ugly…. And I’m glad for it… the Steeler D is why I am dominating one of my leagues…..Over/Under on McCoy sacks and turnovers?? I’ll set it at 12!! BRING THE RAIN!!!!
Game Quality: DUD
Lions at NY Giants:
You know… like I said before… watch the Lions win this game… Javid Best isn’t running up to his last name… Calvin Johnson is hurt….Shaun Hill is playing REALLY well (and if I gave a fvck about Pro Bowls I’d be calling for him to go… gee the 49ers could use a guy like… OOPS)….and the Giants look like world beaters again the last two weeks with two big wins in a row…. You know… if it wasn’t the Lions… but wait… maybe….could they…should I…..naaahhhh…. it’s STILL the Lions…*sigh*
Game Quality: **
Ravens at Patriots:
This game happened back in the playoffs… I’m still waiting for the Pats to get started in that one (though I did say the Ravens were gonna slaughter them….)…. This time I’m not so sure, it’s a different Pats TEAM this time (yeah that’s a shot at Moss), but I’m not sure it’s enough… especially with that crappy defense, and we know how ray Rice carves up Division I-AA team defenses…. The Ravens have really not gotten it all clicking on offense, though I am fascinated to see how the Pats do with Deion Branch and an old school classic Pats offense…. I don’t think it’s enough this week though…..
Game Quality: *** ¼
Chargers at Rams:
San Diego still hasn’t won on the road have they??? (and Jesus that was that the ugliest game you’ve ever seen not called anti-football last week or WHAT??) And I looked it up, the Chargers are indeed 0-3 on the road… way to build a team oh Lord of No-Rings!! And add to that the Rams are 2-1 at home (I’m happy to see that city screwing other people’s hopes and dreams at least!)….I really have no clue how to make this game out, the Rams are doing more with less talent then anyone in football now… and the Chargers are doing less with more talent then anyone this side of Dallas….I don’t even want to use the “well the Chargers are too good to be 2-4” crap, because that sh!t don’t wash this year…. Alright… I’m going into Yahoo’s Pick ‘Em and changing my pics…. The SCEW JOB LIVES FOREVER!!!!
Game Quality: ** ½
Miami at Packers:
It’s funny how a week off to get healthy and a week for the other team to get UN-healthy can change things isn’t it?? Do the Packers have any tight ends left?? A-Rod, is he gonna play, or is it gonna be that Flynn guy… and if any team lives and dies on it’s QB, it’s the Colts, then the Packers….(it’s funny how some teams like the Packers always have a boat load of injuries isn’t it?? That seems to be bad coaching… and the Packers DO have a bad coach too….), I’m just gonna keep this simple… Miami’s healthy and good, the Packers aren’t….that should make this an easy one….
Game Quality: *** ½ (they both need this one….)
Saints at Tampa:
Wow, I was just talking about teams that are good but not healthy… Hi Saints!! And boy you know it’s a disaster when you job to Max Moon and the crappy Cardinals (though that hit on the QB scramble was the highlight of the week!), how the hell do you figure out the Saints when Arizona beat their faces in last week?? Add to that Tampa’s D looked pretty good (thanks to help from Carson Palmer there… I’ll get to him in the Jets comments)…I dunno…the Saints answer is Julius Jones?? Time to ask better questions boys…..
Game Quality: *** (I’m betting on a wacky finish here)
Kansas City at Houston:
I seem to say this every year… but I DEFY you to figure out the damn Texicans… look at their wins, and their losses, there’s no logic in there at all…but then again we have the Chiefs here that may have just realized they were in over their heads with that loss to the Colts last week… there should be lots of offense in this one… both teams have good explosive young backs and interesting passing games… but the Texicans are better up front and Matt Schaub >>>>>>> Matt Cassel (but who isn’t??)…. This will be a fun affair with big plays all over…. But I’ll stick with the home cooking……
Game Quality: **** (WATCH THIS ONE!!!)
NY Jets at Denver:
You know I’m starting to get what I call LCB-syndrome… that it feels like the world really is out to get you, lectures about professionalism at work (when my whole CAREER has been built on NOT being your “typical tech”….and well if the world is out to get me… Rangers/Ducks, Cup Finals…. Jets/Giants Super Bowl… go book ‘em ….with that in mind… one-dimensional offense…. Mediocre defense… and I swear Carson Palmer and Mark Sanchez have pulled a fast one on us ALL and swapped brains this year…. You got a better explanation for how sh!tty Palmer has been?? It’s gotta be some wacky USC-alum thing I swear….anyway, thank God I’ll be torturing myself with the Cowboys and we can stuff all the ignorants at the bar in a bathroom somewhere and use some explosives……
Game Quality: ** (this is cruelty to Kyle Orton!)
Oakland at 49ers:
Holy sh!t… gotta love it when I swore off picking EITHER team again this year… this SUCKS man!! Gotta say though it’s a TELLING sign when your coaching staff and players are so out of whack they make the RAIDERS look organized… yeah the Raiders folks….and then you give the oddsmakers some heavy mind-altering drugs and make the 9ers a SEVEN POINT FAVORITE?? HOW??? WHY??? HOLY sh!t!!! This world and universe is a very fracked place right now….I can’t do it but damn I’d love to have those points to hide behind… now watch the 49ers find a way this week, then again the best 49er QB is wearing a Lions jersey….this is a disaster in the making, but damn it will be fun to watch!
Game Quality: ***
Dallas at Vikings:
SWEET ANTI-FOOTBALL!!!! (who knew by Week 6, I’d be declaring the Cowboys as anti-football right???)…. On one hand you have Dallas who has more yards in penalties then in rushing…. A good defense, but an absurd belief that turnovers don’t matter….on the other hand you have the train-wrecked Vikings, and their lil weasel coach, and washed up QB (and let’s be honest… he hurt his arm sending out porno texts to sideline reporters )….add in Randy Moss and that place is a mutiny waiting to happen of the level of the Love boat incident up there years ago!! This has all the makings of EPIC FAIL FOOTBALL at it’s FINEST!!! Oh thank God I can sit there and get drunk and pretend I never saw this…..
Winner: A TIE!!! (NO ONE deserves to win!)
Game Quality: *** (one for each Moss TD)
Colts at Redskins:
The Redskins have been a nifty team this year (helps to have a douche coach with a clue as opposed to a nice guy one without one….), they can sorta run the ball now with Torrain, and they’re gonna need to because the way you beat the Colts is with handoffs en masse…. But as nice a story as the Redskins have been… they still have no weapons at WR, the QB is meh… the defense plays tough, but the Colts find ways to beat you when you don’t out 7’s on the board…. And the Redskins don’t do that… it might be close, it might be nail biting… or it might look like the Chiefs did last week against them…. Either way….they ain’t winning….
Game Quality: ** (TWO Redskin games in primetime, WTF??)
Monday Oct 18:
Titans at Jaguars:
The Jaguars are on an unthinkable two game winning streak (but then again any team that played Buffalo the week before should have a W in the streak column….), the Titans come in after beating an equally unimpressive opponent… the Huggy-Bear Cowboys… yay…but still I don’t think the Jags are any good fluke win on the Colts and Buffalo beatdown aside….this game isn’t too exciting to watch unless you have some fantasy football issues…. And don’t we all….sh!t I might even pay attention to Monday Night raw this week….
Game Quality: ** ½
Week 3 NFL Power Rankings:
- Steelers…. Hide your daughters, Big Ben’s back and ticking….
- Ravens….same old defense and Ray Rice treated the Broncos like a I-AA college defense (ok, so they are, so what??)
- Jets…ate up Favre like Rex’s post-game pizza-snack…
- Colts….still poking around, and still dangerous as hell……
- Chiefs…. 16-0?? HA!!! Still clicking…. Defense showed a LOT in losing effort
- Atlanta… playing good but almost a “default” team, you name me ANYONE who looks like a world-beater in the NFC
- NY Giants… tells you how bad the NFC is, win 2 in a row and look like a Fracking World-Beater….the NFL is weird….
- Bears…. A win with Phil Collins at the helm is worth two in the bush??
- Redskins… are they good?? NO…does that matter in the NFC?? Not really
- Seattle… being on bye means you played better then 11 teams in the NFC!