So, now the NFL has made a BIG sh!t about “head to head collisons” and how we won’t tolerate them… hell they even went as far to pull merch that was on their own website of James Harrison laying a massive hit on Massaquoi this week (I still want to see how you tell a guy coming in at FULL SPEED to change his direction and more as a guy slips or flinches at the last second… yes tackling as a whole in the NFL does suck, but the fact of the matter IS this is a collision sport played at FULL speed and this stuff is gonna happen….maybe you need softer helmets and shoulder pads (that is half the reason these players are missiles)… or pull a page from hockey, don’t allow a player to leave his feet to make a hit, unless the guy with the ball is in the air…. But turning the NFL in Flag Football 2.0 is NOT the answer…this is the biggest over-reaction I’ve seen since Gary Bettman put the “safety nets” in NHL arenas… argh!!! In a related story, I go to the NFL site, because you know I do like research sh!t…. And what do I see on there… a big ol’ Southwest Airlines ad that says HEADS UP… fvcking frauds you are NFL….Anyway, better get to the games while we still have football to talk about!!!
Sunday Oct 25:1pm:
Bengals at Falcons
Boy the Falcons sure got smashed back down to Earth (better keep their heads up or it will be Mother Earth herself getting a 75k fine from the No-Football League this week if they crash head first right??) but what better remedy for a lil ass kicking then the god-awful Bengals (yes the bye week did not make me any less angry at Carson Palmer)…but hey don’t worry… TO and Chad85 found time to do a REALITY SHOW… that will only improve QB to WR interception ratios right?? And hey didn’t Cedric Benson get arrested again?? They say same old Jets… same ol’Bengals here….
Winner: Atlanta
Game Quality: ** ¾
Jaguars at Chiefs:
The Chiefs have lost two games in row now and both you would consider “ROUGH” circumstances at BEST (and better teams mind you), but now they get a break… and Jack Del Rio… oh DO I HAVE SOME WORDS FOR YOU….this gutless fvcker down 30-3 last week because the itty bitty ESPN network was running BEHIND ON COMMERCIALS, caves and calls timeouts with 90 seconsds left in an NFL FOOTBALL GAME…think about that for a second…. Now imagine the Super Bowl runs fast… yeah… you get the point, yes I am pissed (and I mean so pissed that when I threw my blackberry across the room I ended up breaking it) because the Chris Johnson TD run basically ended my fantasy football season (I know adding $215 more to the bill on a new phone wasn’t genius either)…but anyway…. Del Rio is a gutless pansy who’s afraid he will finally get fired from the worst football franchise in the sport and will be sniveling to the world wide leader in sport-desecration and needs to kiss the right ass so he ends up on NFL Live! One year… fvck him… fvck his sh!tty football team!! (PS, they’re also down to their 3rd string QB… and when you consider how awful the Jaguar FIRST string in… you’d rant about time out’s too!!)
Winner: Chiefs
Game Quality: * ¾ (just to see me blow a gasket again
)Washington at Bears:
Here’s a fun fact, 5 or 6 years ago I can’t remember when it was the Kyle Orton Bears against the Spurrier Redskins… the game was AWFUl… it was so bad, it became funny… the only TD was scored on a 30 yard Portis run after a botched punt, I think)… anyway… this game was historic (and like 7-6)….this game was the fore-father of what we now know and LOVE as our precious anti-football!! So I look and smile when these two teams hook up…. And come to think of it … this may not be different… hell the Redskins lost to the Rams… and the Bears lost at HOME to Seattle… this could be ugly!! But the Redskins do play tight D and cause problems for teams and offenses that don’t believe in blocking….**cough cough JASON GARRETT cough cough**…it’s a damn good thing Mike Martz got into football and not the feminine hygiene business but his willingness to not protect that which matters most would leave us with a LOT of leaky ladies… if you get my drift
….this game will have some comedy to it and I expect the Redskins to win a hilariously ugly one!Winner: Redskins
Game Quality: **
Rams at Tampa:
These two teams were expected to be COMBINED for two wins by this point and this was supposed to be a 5-star anti-football special of the ages… but nope, they been better then expected (being in the NFC helps)…the Rams aren’t good on the road (oddly Tampa is 2-0 on the road… WTF)…I think that’s enough to lean towards Tampa here in a game with some young talent in it that’s going to go very much un-noticed around the bars on a football Sunday… shame it’s kinda intriguing… but still I had enough St Louis in my life recently, thanks!
Winner: Bucs
Game Quality: ** ¾
Eagles at Titans:
Injuries all over the place here… Vick is still out, Deshawn Jackson is still picking brain cells out of the turf from the CLEAN HIT he took last week (hell the DB is more fvcked up from it then HE IS… and he gets fined *eyeroll*), Vince Young’s got a bad wheel too…and an eye opening stat here… Phily is 3-0 on the road… Titans are 1-2…that would make you lean to Phily if all teams were healthy… but Jeff Fisher >> Andy Reid, and his team is damn tough and I just get the feeling they pull this out (doesn’t hurt that the Eagles are NOT the same team without #10 out there….)….this one could be physical and bloody though… bring it on!!!
Winner: Titans
Game Quality: *** ¼
49ers at Panthers:
So the 49ers finally taste victory!! It gets easier from here…. The 49ers get into maybe the softest stretch of games in NFL history (so soft even the Cowboys could go 3-2 in it
)…the Panthers go back to Matt Moore… which might make Steve Smith happy at least… but that team is still putrid (God I wanna see a Panthers/Bills game for the #1 draft pick, that would be amazing!!), and any game with Alex Smith in it has the chance to be a comedy of errors and that means a Mike Singletary explosion to rival mine on Monday Night (did I mention fvck you Jack Del Rio yet??), this will be anti-football levels of hilarity… find a way to watch this mess!!!Winner: 49ers
Game Quality: **** ½ (oh anti-football love!!)
Browns at Saints:
Is there a 4-2 team in football that seems more under duress and with as many problems as the Saints have?? Probably not… the injuries are all over, Darren Sharper still hasn’t put the cleats on, Bush and Thomas are still out… all they must be saying is “thank God the Browns are on the schedule”… and they’re right… don’t worry Colt McCoy is still saying “thank God it’s not the Steelers or Ravens this week” too… don’t worry, the Browns still got no fracking chance!!
Winner: Saints
Game Quality: DUD
Steelers at Miami:
Well Miami got lucky getting a beat up team in Green Bay that was ripe for the pickings… not so much this week…. The Steelers come in with everyone healthy, ready to go and maybe a bit of snarl and PIST about the Harrison fines (which he is appealing and GOOD FOR HIM!!)… and we were sitting there last week wondering… what the hell is it with the Dolphins anyway? They have decent WR’s and Henne is improving… the defense is decent… and I think I nailed it… they’re a run first team, with no backs who scare you or can turn the little play into the BIG play… yeah Brown and Ricky are toot toot good, but neither one of them can hit the home run… hell even Marshall makes big plays but he doesn’t hit the home run either, so every drive has to be of the 10-12 play 90 yard variety…that’s not easy… and gee fat Parcells is already packing his bags and looking to eat his food elsewhere… what a shock….anyway…the Tin Foil Curtain unleashes hell here…..
Winner: Steelers
Game Quality: ***
Bills at Ravens:
Man if only I was running the Buffalo Bills….won this one pretty handily in Madden 11 last week (not as much fun as I had with the Lions… Parrish broke his arm, so I signed some jobber with a 55 rating but 95 speed and returns… and he returns his first two punts for TDs… it was funny… anyway)…why should I talk about the actual game anyway, the Bills don’t believe in winning and they get their wish here… GET THE BALL TO BOLDIN, thanks!!
Winner: Ravens
Game Quality: DUD (this is gonna be nasty….)
4pm:
Cardinals at Seattle:
If this was in Arizona this would be anti-football, I swear… but Seattle is good at home, it’s a weird thing… that team is so Jeckyl/Hyde with that, but they won on the road last week (go figure Chicago right?), and MAX MOON is still starting for the Cardinals (I dunno why yelling MAX MOOOOOONNNNN amuses me… I’m weird… whatever
)The Cards are a mess to me until they prove otherwise… and the Seahawks showed me something… and someone has to prove the 49ers owner wrong… why not Seattle right??
Winner: Seattle
Game Quality: ** (this could be amusing….)
Patriots at Chargers:
Another source of amusement… the Chargers fall off a cliff… ex-Charger Junior Seau tries to follow them (if only Owen Hart took free fall lessons from dear Junior, right??) the Patriots seem to be on a mission to prove Moss was the PROBLEM and not the solution and hell if Deion Branch can go 9/90 every week they will!! I have no faith in the Chargers to stop anyone… Gates is out… looks like Floyd is too… um.. yeah… screw the Chargers, GO DEION BRANCH!! (besides the pats seem to own the Chargers, least they can’t say it’s because Tomlinson is hurt this time)
Winner: Pats
Game Quality: ***
Oakland at Denver:
How in God’s name is Denver an 8-point favorite?? Maybe losing to the 49ers ruins all your cred, but holy hell!! Denver did come off a rough loss to a Jet team they should have beat… but still they are a pass only team that has issues putting teams away….Ah hell this is a steaming pile of football AIDS that only I could enjoy
….*flips the imaginary coin*….there ya have it!Winner: Oakland
Game Quality: *
8pm:
Vikings at Packers:
So the Vikings get the gift of the football Gods here… the Cowboys and then the Packers… two half-teams in a row… that ain’t right…the Vikings are going the right way, and the only thing the Packers are improving… the depth chart on the IR list…it’s not right, it’s not fair… but Favre walks in again and does it again (amazing how the NFL has buried his lil sext-aholic fits quickly and quietly… the exact opposite of the tar n feather job they did on Big Ben… perplexing….), this game’s gonna suck *ugh*
Winner: Packers
Game Quality: ** (CMON, you know you’re happy ESPN’s not doing this one)
Monday Oct 26:
NY Giants at Dallas:
There’s two things I like about this game…. it’s Monday Night so I can mute it and watch Raw and play Madden only caring how Felix Jones does….and this season is toasted already so I don’t have to waste time getting upset about this disaster…the Cowboys are a lost cause this year and the only move would be to fire coach huggy bear and his hippie ways… but if you do that, all you can do is promote from within… which means it’s coach Ginger-tard, in essence you’re promoting a guy fracking up 1/3 of the team and giving him the keys to screw the rest of it up??? NO THANKS… beat them, beat them hard and ruthlessly…. Set-up that Giants/Jets Super Bowl…. Humiliate and humble this team so a REAL coaching staff and philosophy can be brought in…..is there any doubt who I’m picking here???
Winner: Giants
Game Quality: ** ½ (people love seeing Dallas fail so enjoy
) Week 7 NFL Power Rankings:
AFC:
- Steelers…. And now they got an offense too… oh boy…..
- NY Jets, I need the Steelers to lose so my worst nightmare can be real…..
- Colts…..slowly sneaking back up the tree again… hell it is the regular season
- Titans….that 4th and 5 aside that was IMPRESSIVE without VY
- Texans…gutty last minute effort, and another game they probably lose last year
- NY Giants… why not?? They’re going to the Super Bowl right???
- Eagles… pick a QB from 1-10 and let them play till they get hurt and repeat the cycle….
- Atlanta…. Planet Earth says hi and hopes you got a ‘chute as you crash down….
- Seattle, they won on the road… dammit, all my material is gone!!!
- Saints…. Impressive win with their backs to the wall……..
Edited by CRASHER, 23 October 2010 - 09:42 AM.
