It’s funny, you start reading the NFL schedule this week… and you’re like…wow…this is a sweet wonderful pile of anti-football and it’s gonna be a stinky pile of Jackass 3-recycled poop this week… but then as you move on…it gets better… and better… and better…and then you realize… hey this week ain’t so bad!!! (though I could watch 16 games of anti-football and be as close to heaven as I’ll get without going to an airport 
), anyway…it’s November now… means we get to the serious part of the season…..and it’s been a weird Summer into Fall in Pro Sports hasn’t it?? Giants and Rangers world series?? Tampa Bay and Washington talking about first place in the NFL… the Era of WTF has truly arrived in sports!! (what’s next?? The Bills good?? They did put up 500 yards on the high-holy Ravens… hrrrmmmm)
1pm:
Denver/San Fran at London:
ANTI-FOOTBALL IN JOLLY OL’ENGLAND!! Way to share the joy NFL!!!! And as if this game wasn’t yummy enough, Mike Singletary throws another SUCK IT at you…TROY SMITH makes his NFL ok.. 49ers….debut!! (more irony here, the 49ers like David Carr as the backup so much, they kept him as the backup!) The Broncos are still picking splinters out their ass from the beatdown the Raiders put on them, hell the soccer games they show there normally, they got a better chance of being more high-scoring then this mess!! I know the Broncos can chuck the ball, but yeah….this will be messy! Gotta admit I’m excited for this disaster… hell if I owned one I’d put a William Regal shirt on for it!! Cheerio!!!!
Winner: Denver
Game Quality: * ¾ (the best thing to happen to Singletary this year has been the Giants)
Jaguars at Cowboys:
As if the game was above wasn’t horrific enough…..I present you with TODD BAUMAN vs JOHN KITNA!!! How can it get better?? (and how soon until the Stephen McGee, I know… (I actually used his real name instead of yelling TITS McGEE like I do in Madden….) era begins in Dallas?? Why not?? Season’s over, and might as well find out right??)…the one thing I will give to Kitna… he’s not good, but he is fiery and maybe he can rally the troops…. But with the people calling the plays in Dallas…I can’t see it…it’s a pointless gesture and the hilarity of this futility is worth flying yourself into Jersey this week just to watch me douse shots and be all defeated…OH THE PAIN….Well let me add a little quote here from Roy Williams “We’re just as good with Kitna as we were with Romo” WELL YOU WERE ONE AND FRACKING FIVE WITH DUMBO….WOW IMPRESS ME MORE ASSCLOWN!!! Save your time outs this week Del Rio you’ll need ‘em!!!
Winner: Jaguars
Game Quality: ***** (you CAN NOT deny the sweet awful-ness here!!)
Miami at Cincinnati:
And look the games get a little better… we go from four teams of FAIL to two teams that just disappointed so far… alright!!! This was another of those old games that lead to anti-football a bunch of years ago when it was the Sunday Night game (back when it was ESPN) and it’s a 10-7 display of ugly… and even Brian’s old GF at the time that hated football (totally my fault too
) was sitting there going “God this team is AWFUL”….ah old school fun times….anyway… one more rant before I get to this game… to ANY Dolphin fan (and I told Brian this in the first quarter) that wants to sit there and cry and complain they “got screwed” when Ben fumbled and they could not rule who had possession of the ball… YOU HAD TWO POSSESSIONS INSIDE THE 15 TO START THE GAME AND ALL YOU GOT WAS FIELD GOALS!!!! fvck you, you deserved to lose RIGHT THERE alone and the rest is just crap!! That aside… Miami can play some defense, run the ball and dink and dunk down the field….. the Bengals can’t run the ball, the QB is a scared shell of himself (unless he’s down 20 points) and the defense is awful!! This is me being more down on the Bengals then the Dolphins… I only wish our old Bengals girl at the bar would show up so Brian could say something moronic and make her PIST again!Winner: Dolphins
Game Quality: **
Bills at Chiefs:
So we had big-time games 2 months ago turn into anti-football NOW….and we had a game scheduled to be tears of joy anti-football grow into what will be an arsenal of offense and a damn fun game to watch for REAL now!! And like I was saying before…the Bills put up close to a mile of offense on the high holy Ravens D (guess Ray Lewis was too busy making creepy Old Spice spots and giving Manta reacharounds while whispering “Kovalchuk is evil” in his ear)….this is going to be a fun little football game, the Bills can move the ball with Fitzpatrick at the helm and LEE EVANS LIVES too!! The Chiefs have a nice lil offense (but who ever thought at any time this year would the Bills have a QB edge? They do here!)…but I think the Chiefs will hold on and find a way to win a vintage AFL style shootout!!
Winner: Chiefs
Game Quality: *** ¼
Redskins at Lions:
This time last year, the Washington Redskins laid down in an act of glorious anti-football comedy giving the Lions their first win in what felt like ten years…. Parades were scheduled, babies were conceived….it was like the fall of an evil empire (without useless Ewoks getting in the way
)…it was a fun time for all!! One year later the Lions are still scrapping away (if I told you that the Lions and Cowboys would have the same record two months ago you can bet your ass you’d have said 3-3, as opposed to 1-5….) but still not winning (they are getting closer… the Redskins are nipping at FIRST PLACE (oi), I’d like to think the Redskins would be out to avenge last year’s FAIL… but I really like the scrappy Lions and I think they’re due one here….GO GET EM!!!!Winner: Lions
Game Quality: ** ½ (a plus for the WTF factor!)
Carolina at St. Louis:
The red-hot Panthers coming off dominating David Carr (and hey look at it this way Nines fans…NOW you miss Alex Smith!), come into St.Louis to face the VERY good (3-1) at home Rams…bad teams don’t win two weeks ago, even more so when they go on the road…. This game doesn’t even count as good ANTI-football this week… and hell, let’s add to bizarro sports… the Rams get a winning MONTH…holy hell
Winner: Rams
Game Quality: ** ( I could chuckle a little
)Packers at Jets:
Ah well… the silence about the Jets was a wonderful thing wasn’t it? I guess it shows how fracked this year is if Mark Sanchez can go from Lawn Maintenance Professional to legit QB with a few burgers and a LOT of beer from Rex Ryan…go figure….the Packers won the game they’ve wanted to win ever since Brett Favre whined his way out of GB 3 years ago… and now they’re coming into a buzz saw… they can’t run… they can’t pass block and the Packer D is spotty….I should look up the Jet record after a bye…. I don’t think it’s good… but neither are the Packers now...Rodgers and the WRs are good enough to make this interesting…. But it ain’t enough….the Jets will win, much to the sad panda face of NutraSystem commercials everywhere…..
Winner: Jets
Game Quality: **** (unmovable offense vs the unlistenable defense)
4pm:
Titans at San Diego:
One team knows, trains and is bred to win game after game….the other team is the Chargers….or the Cowboys East…either way they have a special knack for stealing defeat from the strong jaws of victory! No WR-depth, discontent all over… soft defense, you name it and the Chargers frack it up week after week
…. I don’t care who the Titans QB is this week either way they roll and watch Chris Johnson get back on track too…..this is maybe finally the year San Diego digs the hole they can’t get out of with a late-season run again…..Winner: Titans
Game Quality: *** ½ (half-star added to see how San Diego fracks this up!)
Vikings at Patriots:
Will Brett play or won’t he?? Frankly he made this mess in Minnesota, be a man and get the hell out there!!! (I know he’s hurt, but he’s played through worse… I still expect him to give up and limp home packing with his defeated tail hanging through his legs like the Snooki-Monster on South Park when it got punched in the face…), and this tells you a LOT about how sick of Randy Moss the Pats are… they traded him for nothing, won two games after and don’t even care that he’s coming back to play them in the same season….and the Vikings are still a bloody mess and Moss is nothing more then a TD-catcher still….this one seems pretty clear cut…..
Winner: Patriots
Game Quality: *** (how can you NOT be intrigued by this, despite my harsh words?)
Bucs at Cardinals:
Look, another one of those flip-flop games where neither team is where you’d thought they’d be… Tampa has legit claims to the best in the NFC (and why not, you got a young team on a roll…push em…pump em up…like the lil bit of bravado here!), it doesn’t matter who QB’s the Cardinals… the result is AWFUL (and for anyone who drafted Fitzgerald…HA HA HA HA, then again I drafted Leinart *sigh*)…Tampa has things right and they’re way better then they should be…take that and a team playing way worse then should be legally allowed….um…yeah, this is for the strong of stomach and cheap of beer!
Winner: Tampa Bay
Game Quality: *
Seattle at Oakland:
Seattle’s on the road again…not good (and not at Chicago)…and Oakland put up a month’s worth of points in beating Denver out of the country this week….I was high on the Raiders in the pre-season (remember that 8-8 pick, they win this week and they’re half-way there!), and yes I know Seattle won their last road game… but I’m still not convinced they are a road team worth a damn…this could be ugly and entertaining in that kinda way….and I say bring it on… wall to wall anti-football!!! It does scare me when the Raiders seem to be the team more on the right path…but screw it!
Winner: Oakland
Game Quality: **
8pm:
Steelers at Saints:
The Steelers lose a key piece of the defense in Aaron Smith (their record ain’t good without it…I was driving and no way was I stopping to write it down), and it’s going to hurt their run defense…but hey, the Saints can’t run the ball ANYWAY, hooray!! Reggie Bush comes back this week… better keep his head up when he goes into Harrison territory….the Saints are still a beat-up and injured mess and the Steelers have too much going for one player, no matter how key, to be enough to knock them off….yet…keep pumping out the Malibu Bay Brees’ in New Orleans… Drew’s gonna need them to ease the pain!!! I would like and hope to see some desperation in the Saints this week, and maybe the replay guys figure it out this week eh?
Winner: Steelers
Game Quality: *** (SNF delivers this week!)
Monday Oct 26:
Texicans at Colts:
I had it set in my mind this week “NO WAY do the Colts lose twice to the Texicans” (especially when you think of how spotty Houston has been, and needing two last drive wins against lesser teams and all)…but then you look at the Colts injuries… Bob Sanders (no shock), but then Sanders’ REPLACEMENT is out… geesh… Adaai, Dallas Clark (and he’s way important, think of all the PIST fantasy owners)….and others…. I just don’t think the Colts have enough to keep up with the younger and better team in Houston now (and we’ve all seen Peyton Manning when he has to do it himself with it on the line… FAIL)
Winner: Texicans
Game Quality: *** ½ (got offense? They do!)
Week 8 NFL Power Rankings:
AFC:
- Steelers…. Gave Miami the ball TWICE inside the 20, and held to two FG’s
- NY Jets….it was nice to have a week of quiet in the NFL
- Chiefs… clicking again, but man Jacksonville SUCKS
- Titans….win, win, win and win…this is all they do…..
- Texans…get to stay in the top 5 because I can NOT put the Ravens here after THAT
- NY Giants… this is a thank you for the mercy killing of the Cowboys…..
- Atlanta…showed some guts coming back after blowing a big lead….
- Tampa Bay (yes really)…on the balls alone of calling their team the best in the NFC, you go boy!!!!
- Seattle…looking like an above .500 team which means dominant in the NFC Worst!
- Packers…ruined my fantasy season, but finally got some on Brett Fraud!
Edited by CRASHER, 29 October 2010 - 01:37 PM.
