Ah, December football….the Chargers become invincible and we start counting down the holidays….new year’s….Christmas….and the one that matters (you know it…MY BIRTHDAY)….and now we even start counting down to the sad sad time when football Sundays come to an end even, and we start looking for crap to do on Sundays….lucky us that time ain’t now….and we got the meat and potatoes of the season coming (and boy the schedule makers did us RIGHT this year let me tell you)…and look it’s a week 13 preview brought as close to the wire as I make our fantasy football drafts on NJDevs!
Thursday Dec 2:
Houston at Phily:
Have I mentioned how much I hate Thursday games?? (aside of Thanksgiving)…..I feel it jumps the week too early, takes away good games from Sunday and it just kills the flow….I get it the NFL Network wants its extra games (and any games we can keep away from Manta-Vision I’m all for!)….but hell wait till college ends and put the damn games on SATURDAY Night….it sucks to have a game this good on it’s own island like this (isn’t that Sunday and Monday Nights are for?)….anyway…. the Eagles didn’t look too hot in Chicago last week and the Texans looked good because they beat up on a Rusty Trombone pretending to be a quarterback!! The Texans still can’t defend the pass (but they do throw some mean UFC punches! And no I don’t think Johnson should have been suspended…. Finnernan SHOULD have….but God Forbid we punish repeat offenders and hell under the idiot NFL rules, wasn’t Johnson throwing dangerous and illegal blows to the head??? (then again I won’t take THAT seriously until they ban straight-arms to the face from running backs!!) The Texicans don’t match up good with the Eagles but got enough weapons to keep this close and fun to watch at least!!
Game Quality: **** (when offenses and fantasy football rosters COLLIDE)
Sunday Dec 5:
Jacksonville at Titans:
So who’s the Titan QB?? Is it still that rusty trombone?? I think so….if drunken Kerry starts this the Titans got a chance, even still… no one (me either) has given the Jaguars credit for what they’ve done this year and to even be talking playoffs with the other three teams in the South….I gotta say it’s pretty impressive…. But for me I’m still steaming PIST from the “time out” incident on Monday Night Football…oh yeah….against the Titans and Chris Johnson….ugh….Frack my Life….ESPN still owes me a fantasy football buy-in and the cost of a new Blackberry curve for that game….and speaking of fantasy football aggrivations…. To whoever bought Randy Moss the stealth device COULD YOU HAVE WAITED TILL FOOTBALL SEASON ENDED??? Holy hell he fell down from grace quicker then Owen Hart did from the rafters!!
Game Quality: ** (I’ll take an MJ-D on the rocks…..)
Bears at Lions:
Man talk about a re-hash of games that pissed me off this year….week 1, Calvin Johnson gets totally ROBBED of a game winning TD because the NFL has too many lawyers and we have to make all the rules as stupidly complex as HUMANLY POSSIBLE….two feet, possession, end zone…IT’S A TOUCHDOWN a$holE!!!!! Now imagine for a second if justice had been done in that game…the Lions would be contenders and the Bears would be the Cowboys North….ah well….this could be a bit of a letdown for the Bears after beating Phily and New England coming next week….but I just can’t see the Lions doing anything but being the Lions…grrrr….
Game Quality: * ¾ (crap the Lions deserve better)
Bills at Vikings:
UNLEASH THE HOUNDS OF ANTI-FOOTBALL UPON THEE IN MINNY!!!
The “never say die even though God hates them” Bills take a nice friendly trip up to the ol’Homer-Dome in Minnesota (yes I know the baseball team doesn’t play there, but if Paul Allen was any more of a douchey Homer in his play by play, he’d be working for the Avalanche on the Altitude network!), anyway…another week, and another game the Bills have the better QB, and wining last week over a pathetic Redskin team doesn’t make me think the Vikings are fixed either (they’ll be fixed when the new coach grows a pair and says “hey it’s time to see what Tavares can do”)….until then I gotta pull for the team that plays with heart and doesn’t stop playing because they hate the coach (no matter how much of a douchebag he is….)
Game Quality: ** ¾ (I have a sick soft spot for the Bills, sue me!)
Denver at Chiefs:
What is it about Denver coaches that inspire such HATRED in me?? It’s fracking weird!
It’s even funnier now when McDaniel caught doing the only thing he can do like Bill Belichek….video tape his opponents….but gee, again no suspension and it’s brushed under the rug…. Reminds me of the cronies who run the NHL….what am I gonna do talk about how they got embarrassed by the RAMS last week?? I don’t think so!! It’s amazing how two years can turn you from a great hire to GET HIM OUT NOW before he starts burning down the practice facility!! And now they go to KC to play a better team that righted the ship and has San Diego up their ass?? Queue the Vince McManon music, cause they got NO CHANCE IN HELL!!
Game Quality: **
49ers at Packers:
This looked like it was gonna be a heck of a game….and then Frank Gore got hurt (ARGH)…through some sick act of God the 49ers are still only a game out of first place, while the Packers who spent time looking like the best team in football are also a game out of a playoff spot (fate does have a sense of irony), but still Troy Smith, Alex Smith, hell even Akili Smith (remember him?? Carson Palmer’s turned into his white clone….) who’s the 49er QB?? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO IT IS…they all suck, and the Packers need this too much to let this slip away…..though I am fascinated to see how much Brian Westbrook has in the tank…..I would be worried if I was Mike Singletary though..... Fromer's Fun Football Fact: the last two teams that got blown out by Green Bay, both wished their coach the best in his Future Endeavors!!! Good Luck Mike!!!!
Game Quality: *** (If you could merge these teams you’d have an unstoppable force!)
Saints at Bengals:
Funny…both these teams had 11 days off….one of them has the rest of the season off too….I’m so sick of bashing on the Bengals it’s not even funny (their stock has dropped to depths so bad they can only be matched by the T-Ocho show on Vs)….and the Saints look like a playoff team and pain in the ass again….this is an easy one….
Game Quality: DUD (The Bengals lie down faster then the Brooklyn Brawler!)
Browns at Dolphins:
It’s funny that if you watched these teams play all year the Browns would look like the 6-5 team and the Dolphins feel more like the 4-7 team….go figure….the Dolphins suck at home and the Browns suck on the road….something’s gotta give….I’ve seen enough Miami games at this point that I don’t like their playmakesrs and find Miami always does it the hard way… while on occasion Peyton Hillis becomes Mike Alostat (whatever) and runs over 19 people and kills babies and packs of deer to get in the end zone….it’s a gut feeling on this one… but I like the Browns a helluva lot better right now…..
Game Quality: * ¾ (Almost anti-football kinda good!)
Redskins at Giants:
The Giants seemed to have righted the ship pulling that game out with the Jaguars while the Redskins have to be wondering….can we cut Mcabb yet?? (or at least get him someone….ANYONE….to throw to….)….give it a week or two again, and the Giants will be “the best team in the NFC” again….this game sucks and I’m not wasting my time with it…..
Game Quality: * (The schedule Gods smile upon NY/NJ!)
Oakland at San Diego:
Let’s see…one-dimensional Raiders lose to an awful Miami team and play a team that loses less in December then John Cena does on WWE TV? Yeah this one’s pretty easy ….You ….can’t….see….me (but you saw the prediction comin!)
Winner: San Diego Game Quality: * (Maybe big Al can finally have that heart attack?)
Rams at Arizona:
Remember how I said ESPN owes me $400 for the CJ incident??? I think I deserve triple that for last Monday’s game alone!! The Cardinals are beyond pathetic, and you know that’s the REAL reason Derek Anderson had his tantrum….he thought the reporter was telling him he got a 5-year extension!! That would make me PIST too!! The Rams beat a better team on the road last week (and how sad is that if Denver is better then you?)…..the only thing that makes me sad about this is the leader in the West will be .500 again……
Game Quality: ** ½ (one star is for laughing at Arizona quarterbacking!)
Carolina at Seattle:
Oh my God, this is an AMAZING 4pm slate of games!!! More anti-football then I can piss a whole bar off with!!!! The thing is Seattle is decent at home and the Panthers would be pathetic in Division 2 football….or worse, the CFL…the WLAF…they’re just BAD umkay? Least Mike Goodson’s running the ball and gives you SOMETHING to watch….the bottoming out continues in Carolina…..
Game Quality: ** (you could merge these teams and still lose to Rutgers )
Atlanta at Tampa Bay:
They keep telling the Bucs “you only lose to better teams and you only beat teams that are worse then you…” that gotta get annoying, and they’re getting closer now at least….hell I’d mention their comeback on the Ravens defense but that’s no longer an impressive feat….the Falcons gotta be riding high, and the schedule gets REAL easy for them here (Carolina, Seattle, NO, Carolina AGAIN…that’s not right)….Atlanta can slip here and still get home field in the NFC…and Tampa’s due to beat a team they’re not as good as…UPSET ALERT!!!!
Game Quality: ****
Dallas at Indy:
I’ve been hearing a lot “hey Scott you must feel better about Dallas since they’re playing for Garrett”….and each time I SAY NO…loudly….It’s not a special feat to take a talented team with NO PRESSURE on them, shake them up and all of a sudden they play well….gee ya think?? I’m not convinced on Garrett, and my theory on losing is, when you lose LOSE BIG so you can get better and turn it around…after all who wants to be the Knicks and stuck in 9-10th place each and every year, not good enough to win but not bad enough to tear it all apart! So anyway…yeah Dallas looked better in the last three games whoo hoooo….and the last time Dallas played Indy they pasted the piss out of Manning and won the game (and the Colts won the Super Bowl….blah), but the Colts can’t lose anymore games stuck in this battle for the AFC South or even a Wild Card Spot….Dez Bryant has a back injury….and there’s just no way I can take the Cowboys in this one……
Game Quality: *** (Dallas delusion and Colts desperation, it’s a good match!)
Steelers at Ravens:
Hot damn I love these games…they hit, they beat on each other (you almost need an ice pack to WATCH it), and good news for Jerome Harrison… Joe Flacco is REALLY tall so it should be hard to get another stupid fine for touching the QB, right?? (that hit on Fitz wasn’t even a PENALTY forget about fining the fracker!)…the Steelers have been stumbling since Aaron Smith went down (I say this every week don’t I?)…now Big Ben is limping, the O-Line is still bad….and as unimpressed as I’ve been by the league’s most-stacked group of possession receives….the Ravens are better all around right now and they should defend home field in what will have more bumps and contact then the crappy TNA PPV that night!
Game Quality: ***** (I LOVE bloodbath games!!!)
Monday Dec 6:
Jets at Patriots:
Well this is a beer and wings style slobberknocker ain’t it?? We all know the deal here… winner goes 10-2 and gets a nice cushion in the AFC East and can start talking bye week and all that good stuff….the Pats have become machine-like since jettisoning Randy Moss and getting Deion Branch back…they can throw the ball all over the field now…. Or dink n dunk, or go two TE and slam the ball down your throat… and all this offense and balance is doing wonders for the defense…. Cause it keeps them OFF the field….and we all know about the Jets “:good fortune” (cause God Forbid I call it “lucky” and I’ll have to sit through ten pages of personal attacks again because I’m not impressed by a last-second win over the Lions or a bad PI call against Denver or whatever….)…yes yes Nacho Libre’s been better this year… amazing how that happens when you get better WR’s and makes the running game better….but the Jets STILL can’t get a pass rush going and you don’t beat Tom Brady without getting Giselle-like-close to him…. And I don’t see the Jets doing that….should be quite the battle still……
Game Quality: **** (beware of the ESPN man-gasms!)
Week 13 NFL Power Rankings:
- Patriots…Deion Branch is still abusing Lions DB’s!
- Jets….Time to put the “lucky label” to the test?
- Chiefs….did that which they must to beat up on the Seahawks at home….
- Steelers…apparently God likes you more then
- San Diego….they’re bacccccckkkkkkk!
- Atlanta….would the football world admit they’re GOOD already?
- Giants….back on the stomping block again…..
- Bears…put themselves into relevance out-Eagling the Eagles!
- Saints….got a bit lucky but showed a lot coming back against a motivated team GINGER
- Eagles….showed a little more in losing then Tampa did……
Edited by CRASHER, 02 December 2010 - 05:50 PM.