Only 3 weeks left!! Where the hell does it all go?? Happens every year though, and this has truly been the king of the WTF season….least it’s shaping up to have one helluva finish!!! Why talk about it here when I can do so down below…. Just watch yourself while toeing the sideline….I hear it’s a trip hazard!
Thursday Dec 16:
49ers at San Diego:
Well this is an IMPORTANT game (can you think of two more teams that did the Owen-Drop out of the gate that found a way to bounce off that turnbuckle and come back to life like these two did?)…..is it a GOOD game though….I’m not too sure about that, yeah you should get the intensity and passion of a game that matters…but hell San Diego took a massive sh!t two weeks ago against a Raider team they should have dominated….and the 49ers can be just as random….needless to say losing here should kill off either team (but who knows in the NFC Worst, right?)…..ugh, this damn game is a flip of the coin, and then you pick the OTHER team cause neither one really wins you over…..alright.. best two out of three flips……
Prediction: San Diego
Game Quality: ** ½ (this could be really good….or really hideous like the Giant/Viking game was)
Sunday Dec 19:
Saints at Ravens:
Well this is interesting….the high powered offense of the Saints (hey Manta look ANOTHER team with a better WR-corps then yours, It’s not our fault that you are so used to the pop-gun offense that you think being average is extraordinary!)….speaking of…Ray Rice….13th in the NFL at 849 rushing yards and a PUTRID 3.9 yards a carry (only Cedric Benson in the top 20 is worse)…..maybe it still is a pop-gun offense in Manta-Land eh? Anyway…that overrated defense (you know the one the Texans went 90 yards plus on… TWICE in the 4th Quarter Monday)….they will get an EDUCATION on what a TRUE high-powered offense looks like and operates like…looks like cold but not windy is the forecast for Sunday, don’t think the Ravens get any help here….ugh, I did all this Raven-bashing (and well-earned)….but sometimes you gotta throw match-ups and better teams out the window and just go on the ol’intuition….and I get this weird feeling the Ravens are gonna win this game in SPITE of everything, probably because of home field and dome teams don’t do well in the cold…..so I’ll go with that….
Game Quality: *** (Who needs 3D when you have Manta-Vision!)
Arizona at Carolina:
Man how bad has it been for Arizona….Leinart…FAIL, Anderson…FAIL, Max Moon…FAIL…..it’s so bad they’ve resorted to He-Man and Skeletor to be their quarterbacks (talk about playing with your dolls and taking it too literally eh?? Geesh!)…their situations is worse then anyone in the leag….er….wait… CAROLINA….D’oh…that looks like Montana and Young compared to what the Panthers roll out under center!! Man this is going to be a glorious train wreck of anti-football….hell even at HERCULEAN-type levels!!! I can’t wait!! Who’s gonna win?? WHO CARES, we the anti-football NATION are the winners here!!
Prediction: Arizona (just so they can get the QB ahead of the Bills in Carolina!)
Game Quality: **** (my love of anti-football knows no bounds!!)
Browns at Bengals:
First off as a happy Pittsburgh Defense owner let me throw out a personal thank you to Carson Palmer for the two TD passes he threw into Steeler arms last Sunday, it was a wonderful and heartfelt gift of joy, THANK YOU!! Anyway….the Browns should be PIST here (who isn’t after losing to Buffalo right??), and the Browns have something to play for….while I’m sure there’s some clause in the Rooney Rule about firing Marvin Lewis early (and they didn’t play Green Bay, which also seems to be a rule about firing coaches…)…and hell he made this mess let him suffer through it too!! It’s a sad fact when a team run by Mangini is better run and has more direction then anyone else…but the only thing worse then the Bengals is that awful show on Versus by the two washed-up wide receivers (either one could be a #1 in Baltimore though!) Recommend: AVOID!
Game Quality: * (PEYTON SMASH!)
Washington at Dallas:
I think I’m gonna go off the beaten path here and not break this game down, but simply show what the Dallas Cowboys do better then the Redskins:
-- sign three washed up running backs to only have NONE of them last the season!
-- kick extra points…yep (hell field goals too!)
-- keep our defensive players happy (and get them to pass physicals)
-- ALL our QBs can run the 2:00 drill!
-- beat the Lions
-- need five downs to almost beat Tampa Bay……
Damn it pains me to do this since I want them to lose out…but they are a bigger mess after all…..
Game Quality: ** (respecting the rivalry and little else)
Jacksonville at Indy:
With a win the Jags would CLINCH the AFC South…who had THAT in their previews??? Not me for damn sure!! This game one way or another is gonna be a battle…but damn the Jaguars have gotten awful lucky a few times too many this year and the Colts seem back in shape here….though a 10-7 win would suit me well, these games always seem to be wacky and the Jags always have stupid numbers rushing and the Colts throw it all over to keep up….and I expect a lot of the same here….and not to mention this game the first time kicked me out of the damn survival pool (come to think of it, that’s TWICE Del Rio fvcked me this year….what did I hit on his daughter or something??)….this time we get even!!!
Game Quality: *** (um, yeah it’ll be good!)
Bills at Dolphins:
Yes I know Miami had a BIG win last week with the Jets, but they are good on the road…hell Buffalo had a HUGE HUGE win in stuffing the Browns (frack you I’m man-crushing on the Bills!!), and now they go into Miami and I really think the Bills are gonna play well down there…. Glad to be out of the miserable cold up here and down in the only sorta-cold (though an ice game for wimpy Floridians!)….and Miami is BAD at home and honestly had no business winning last week… I BILL-IEVE I CAN FLY!!!!!!!!
Game Quality: **
Eagles at Giants:
Well here’s your big game for the day… shame they didn’t move it to prime time….ah well…..both teams come in looking pretty good…the Giants found their offense (despite more turnovers) in running the ball…and often….and even the Eagles showed some finish them off-ness in running it down Dallas’ throat to end it Sunday Night (though it convinced me Dallas needs a better NT then Jay Ratliff, but that’s for February and beyond)….this is a tight game to call….but when it’s this close and one team pulled it off last time….you gotta pick the other one to even it up and keep it interesting (the Eagles do tend to own the Giants though….), I’m just wanting my Michael Vick puppy love and hoping they lose in a shootout that should be epic and fun to watch!!
Game Quality: ****
Chiefs at Rams:
I guess I should apologize about Matt Cassel, his poorly aimed ducks and wobbly passes that seem to get there actually DO matter to the Chiefs (then again Brody Croyle’s still not good enough to start for the Titans, Cardinals, Vikings…hell even the Jets now!), and they needed him back this week (amazing how they can heal you up in almost “pop a stimpack in Fallout and it’s all good” fashion!)…the Rams have done a LOT this year and they will make the playoffs to spite me and add to what a fvcked year in sports it really is (case in point THE KNICKS ARE RELEVANT, I must be getting married soon cause the signs of the Apocalypse are comin!)…but not this week… the Chiefs need this one badly, and the way the NFC West is they’ll all lose and we’ll have some 6-10 playoff tie breaker scenario to enjoy!!!
Game Quality: ** ¾
Lions at Tampa Bay:
Well the Lions won their game of the year….about 10 weeks late though….and now Tampa’s gotta be all PIST cause they played AWFUL against the Redskins….3 missed FG’s …you know all the crap I made fun of above in their preview! And this is an important game for Tampa besides the playoff obviousness…. Legarret Blount has been on a bit of a cold streak and this might be the week they pump it up and get him back on track… they’d better hope so if they wanna think playoffs and not just an awesome Jim Mora speech….Tampa finds a way as the Lions do what they do…LOSE
Game Quality: * ¾
Texans at Titans:
And now to add to the FAIL (and streak killing this year) of the Texcians… Mario Williams is not playing tonight (remember when they got laughed at for not picking Reggie Bush or Vince Young over him?? Who laughs now beatch!!)…Good thing they’re playing one of the most pathetic offenses in disarray in football….though I guess this is good for Chris Johnson owners since Houston was gutless WITH Williams…..maybe Randy Moss can go wild and catch two… maybe THREE passes?? Nahh…I give up….I’ll take the bad team over the worse one……
Game Quality: ** (I got nothin to add….)
Atlanta at Seattle:
Hey we’re Seattle…we’re good at home by golly!!! *looks at schedule* AW sh!t…it’s the Faclons.....the lil kids on that bus in that “Play 60” commercial got a better chance of pulling this one out….Seattle is such a damn strange team this year though….naahhh, I can’t do it….pound them like veal Michael Turner!!! I’m kinda pressed for time here (being it’s like 6pm on Thursday when I’m writing this!)….so sorry bout yo damn luck Seattle!!
Game Quality: ** (Be good to see Atlanta beat someone on the road)
Denver at Oakland:
Well…so much for the “Ginger Effect Theory”…the Broncos got their faces beat in like a bunch of baby seals protesting a Michael Vick game in Phily!!! I guess it proves your ineptitude even in your passing when you built the team Matt Millen style doesn’t it?? I really got nothing to say here….the Broncos are a mess, and I mean LA Clipper style of mess, and it’s not gonna get better this year… let’s just give them an L and move on before the scary guy in the Comcast Sports West Raiders commercial gets angry at me (I’ll stick to pissing off drunk whores at the bar who make Roethlisberger jokes thanks!)
Game Quality: * ½
Jets at Steelers:
I could make a really bad pun about the Jets getting tripped up last week by Miami….but I won’t….the fact is they’re starting to fall and they may not get up….and this is NOT the team you want to see…confidence is reeling, QB is throwing interceptions all over….and the most turnover hungry defense in the league is looming (and having them in a playoff game I am excited about this!)…not like the Steelers are much better on offense…but you don’t need to block anyone when the other team can’t rush the QB anyway….this sounds anti-Jets (and well…I am… but whatever, I picked them enough this year)…maybe we can get a big pic of a train crash in some tribute to the dead dolphins pic we see all the time….hrrrmmmm), it will be close….mostly cause the Steelers can only put you away on defense…and hey it must be crunch time in the NFL…know why?? Tomlinson’s numbers are in the sh!ts again!!! (36, 49, 47 and 49 and only ONE decent game receiving….the man is just anti-clutch!)…good luck, you’re gonna NEED it!
Game Quality: ****
Packers at Patriots:
Will A-Rod or won’t he?? He’d better since Flynn (or whatever the hell his name is…I keep wanting to make Robin Hood jokes, but a Man in Tights might be a better football guy then he is!)….was just AWFUL in jobbing to the Lions last week…. But hell I don’t think it matters anyway….the Patriots are a machine now not seen since Arnold Schwarzenegger stuck out his hand and said COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE….so yeah…..I’d much rather see A-Rod in this one since you know I like competitive football on nights I’m trying to avoid sh!tty throw-away WWE pay per views….so CMON A-ROD!!!
Game Quality: *** (one for each bird swirling around A-Rod’s head!)
Monday Dec 6:
Chicago at Minnesota:
So now that Favre is dead, he took Tavares Jackson with him??? Jesus what a petty bitch!!! (well actually AP hurt him Monday Night which might explain why he was so atrocious in that game….)….and now it’s Patrick Ramsey and random QB# x where < x > equals 5 times the level of turnovers Jay Cutler is capable of??? What a disaster… AND it’s on Monday Night…. My God they needed the 3 hour Raw THIS week….this game is horrible and I refuse to waste my time on it!!!
Game Quality: ** (This game’s gonna be a Favre-eulogoy in the booth )
Week 11 NFL Power Rankings:
- Patriots…it’s like watching real life Madden football…..
- Steelers….should induct Carson Palmer into their ring of honor
- Ravens….it helps when your opponent out FAILS you…..
- Jacksonville….big win last week
- Jets…Tripping, more then a two-minute minor penalty!
- Atlanta….almost kinda boring now…..
- Giants….Favre wasn’t hurt, he was scared!!!
- Saints….starting to roll….
- Eagles….Nestea plunges and signed gloves for all!
- Bears….glad they won’t see Tom Brady again eh??
Edited by CRASHER, 16 December 2010 - 06:37 PM.