Jump to content

Photo

Real Life Intrudes


  • Please log in to reply
75 replies to this topic

#1 Nieuwy25

Nieuwy25

    General Manager

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,903 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:40 PM

My up-till-now incredibly healthy Mom has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers. My Dad passed away almost 20 years ago, so us 5 kids have to decide how to best take care of her. It is late onset, and sudden, and rapid, so the doctor says the progression will probably be rapid, too.

My Dad's death was sudden & unexpected, so we've never had to deal with a terminal illness. The blessing is that she's 81, so she's had a long and a good life - a good family, and good health. She was still working part-time til last week, because she wanted to.

I doubt (hope) any of you have been through this with parents, since, except for StarDew, you're all younger. I just felt like sharing. We're having a family meeting tonight, so I definitely won't be watching hockey. :saddevil:
  • 0
Winner of the 2004 Lady Byng Award and the 2003 and 2004 Joe Nieuwendyk award.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He has no ego," says Lou Lamoriello, general manager of the New Jersey Devils. "I don't think he has a selfish bone in his body. It gets infectious with people around him, but that's Joe. Having him here was something very special."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the simple truth is this -- before and after Joe Nieuwendyk, this franchise has not been as good. Yes the same could be said for others, but Nieuwendyk's effect on his team, on his team's best players, on the fans and in the community can only be compared to, well, what Jarome Iginla is doing now in Calgary. Ralph Strangis, dallasstars.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

#2 poohbear

poohbear

    Assistant Coach

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,384 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:47 PM

So sorry to hear that, Nieuwy! :saddevil: Sounds like your family is all there for each other, which is good. I have no pearls of wisdom for you, but my prayers are with you.
  • 0
Proud NJDevs Co-Keeper of Martin Brodeur. I'm with you, LD30!

How hot is my avatar? Woof, I love those eyes!! Ugh, I'm such a girl.

#3 Nieuwy25

Nieuwy25

    General Manager

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,903 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:49 PM

Thanks, poohbear. All prayers are welcome. :pray:
  • 0
Winner of the 2004 Lady Byng Award and the 2003 and 2004 Joe Nieuwendyk award.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He has no ego," says Lou Lamoriello, general manager of the New Jersey Devils. "I don't think he has a selfish bone in his body. It gets infectious with people around him, but that's Joe. Having him here was something very special."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the simple truth is this -- before and after Joe Nieuwendyk, this franchise has not been as good. Yes the same could be said for others, but Nieuwendyk's effect on his team, on his team's best players, on the fans and in the community can only be compared to, well, what Jarome Iginla is doing now in Calgary. Ralph Strangis, dallasstars.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

#4 DevilMinder

DevilMinder

    Owner / Administrator

  • Admin
  • 9,003 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 05:55 PM

Sorry to here Niuey, I don't have a close relative who has alzheimers but my grandmothers brother has it and she relays stories that make me upset. I hope your family can share this load peacefully.
  • 0

#5 Pepperkorn

Pepperkorn

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 18,391 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 06:05 PM

all my prayers out to you.

It's going to be a tough and painful road I fear... go off on people on the board! It'll make you feel better! :P That's what we're here for!
  • 0

I'm here for the party


#6 Weekes Head

Weekes Head

    Coulier's #1 Fan

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,581 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 06:09 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you as well.

When I was younger my great-grandmother was diagnosed with the disease, so I kind of know how it's like, although too young to really undrestand.
  • 0

...poster claims to have a friend whos father know Kovalchucks agent's close partner and he was told by his friends father that they are just sorting the details out.


The artist formerly known as RD

#7 NJDevs4978

NJDevs4978

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 22,936 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 06:49 PM

I dunno what to say Nieuwy, except sorry you have to go through something like this :saddevil:
  • 0
"The Devils have high standards, that's the difference. We have a standard to live up to every year, and a couple of teams in our area don't have the standards we do." - Pat Burns

The New Jersey Devils win Stanley Cups everywhere:
-NHL record for most road wins in the playoffs - 10-1 in '95 and 10-2 in '00
-NHL record for most home wins in the playoffs - 12-1 in '03

#8 westcoastdevfan

westcoastdevfan

    General Manager

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,984 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 06:57 PM

I'm sorry Nieuwy...my prayers are with you and your family. :saddevil: :pray:
  • 0
Posted ImageOF LOU'S SACRED KOOL-AID!
Follow me on Twitter @westcoastdevfan
Check me out at dekingdevils.com

#9 poohbear

poohbear

    Assistant Coach

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,384 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 07:15 PM

So many prayers! :pray: What a board! :clap:

Edited by poohbear, 23 January 2004 - 07:15 PM.

  • 0
Proud NJDevs Co-Keeper of Martin Brodeur. I'm with you, LD30!

How hot is my avatar? Woof, I love those eyes!! Ugh, I'm such a girl.

#10 Weekes Head

Weekes Head

    Coulier's #1 Fan

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 21,581 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 07:18 PM

Nieuwy, I know you probably won't read this post for a little bit (which is understandable), but I'm sure that EVERYONE at NJDevs is behind you -- this is such a great place, it's really like a community here. Althought we bicker and we have our moments where we might not like each other all that much, I really feel like we do care about each other, and like I said, I'm willing to bet EVERYONE send their thoughts and prayers out to you and your family. :pray:
  • 0

...poster claims to have a friend whos father know Kovalchucks agent's close partner and he was told by his friends father that they are just sorting the details out.


The artist formerly known as RD

#11 Zamode

Zamode

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,488 posts

Posted 23 January 2004 - 10:30 PM

Prayers and thought are with you Nieuwy!
  • 0
Posted Image

Thanks Lurker

#12 Lady Stanley

Lady Stanley

    Albany Devil

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 216 posts

Posted 24 January 2004 - 12:06 AM

Niewy,

It's so hard to witness a loved one take a turn for the worse, but Alzheimers is especially tough.

My grandmother lived with us when I was growing up so I was very close to her. We started seeing small things first, like forgetting ingredients in her baking, or forgetting where she left some of her possessions. Then she began to carry her pocketbook with her constantly (in the house mind you!) and accuse us of stealing her money! Finally, it got to the point where she didn't even recognize us anymore. It's a very sad, debilitating disease. I think it's worse for the victim's loved ones, rather than the victim him/herself.

Stay strong, surround yourself with family support and try to keep a sense of humor! You will need some special time for yourself, as a caregiver, to keep your "batteries" strong. Don't ever feel guilty about taking time for YOU!

My thoughts are with you! :pray:
  • 0

#13 Derek21

Derek21

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17,837 posts

Posted 24 January 2004 - 03:53 AM

I'm really sorry to hear that Nieuwy about your Mom :( . My prayers are with you and your family :pray: .
  • 0

"The greatest trick Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

 

Hasan, Brian and I blog at New York Puck. Devils, Islanders, Rangers and Sabres.


#14 '7'

'7'

    A Legend

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,783 posts

Posted 24 January 2004 - 02:02 PM

:( best wishes to you and your mother Nieuwy

I guess the most important thing right now is closeness and comfort. Though we don't like to think about it, every one of us will probably be faced with something similar during our lives. the support you get during a time like this is so important.

Edited by '7', 24 January 2004 - 02:06 PM.

  • 0
^7^ is just defending his sport sheeps.. as Alcibiades the exiled Athenian rationalizes in his speech to the enemy Spartans, he wants to take revenge on Athens because he loves it and can't stand to see the state it's in now - Triumph
Posted Image Posted Image

#15 sammyk

sammyk

    Professional Googler

  • Contributor
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 25,593 posts

Posted 24 January 2004 - 02:07 PM

I doubt (hope) any of you have been through this with parents, since, except for StarDew, you're all younger.

For nearly 20 years prior to my mothers passing, she had been sick with either cancer or heart problems. Although she was able to work and "get on" with her life, there was always tension of something going very wrong. So I do know how it is to live with someone that has a lot of problems, and from a very young age.

My thoughts are with you and I hope you and your family will be able to get through this. :pray:
  • 0
This is how big your signature should be. Any larger and you are compensating.

#16 Nieda

Nieda

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,384 posts

Posted 24 January 2004 - 02:21 PM

I'm so so sorry to hear that niuwey. Its sad when someone you love and care about so deeply is going through something so bad. My grandma has the same thing...

my thoughts and parayers are with you!! :pray: :pray:
  • 0
We will out skate you.
We will out work you.
We will out will you.
And when your head is spinning, your lungs are gasping for air, and you're wondering what hit you...
We will start the 2nd period.
--BlackJack


knowing nothing is better than knowing it all

#17 StarDew

StarDew

    General Manager

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,693 posts

Posted 25 January 2004 - 04:57 PM

You are in my prayers Nieuwy...my dad died 1/23/81...mom 6/17/95....my Godfather, my most favorite uncle and relative, was a healthy horse...in August of 2000 he was diagnosed with Parkinson...October Alzheimers...I used to go visit him in the nursing home...he recognized no one but he always recognized me...we would talk and play around like he wasn't ill at all...I was the only one who would listen and not tell him there weren't people in the closet, if you know what I mean...he died February 2, 2001...I miss him so much...I miss them all :(

Yes Nieuwy...I know the terminal illness route also...remember this...one day at a time...PM if you need to talk...I may not logon everyday but I will get back to you :pray:

btw...I went to SFC game 3 of 1995 the same day we buried mom...she would have wanted us to...she was such a fan :(
  • 0
Dew
So long and thanks for all the fish.
TIMEX RULES!!

"When we were struggling at the beginning of the year we were wondering what was wrong and trying to find reasons. At the end of the day, all we had to do was look in the mirror and the answers were right there." -- Sergei Brylin 12/2/2007

#18 Nieuwy25

Nieuwy25

    General Manager

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,903 posts

Posted 25 January 2004 - 05:56 PM

Thanks to all of you for your very sweet thoughts and prayers. YOU ALL REALLY ARE THE BEST!

Mom's already showing some of the symptoms you mentioned. Like, she always keeps her purse with her. She's not belligerent, yet, or distrustful, but she doesn't like that we have to help her with her checkbook now. It really, really frustrates her because she thinks she's still doing it correctly, but she's not, so we have to kind of watch over her and double check things. It's no fun at all to feel like you're treating your Mom like a child. The next fun thing is taking her car away from her. We have to turn in her driver's license.

She cried when my brother from Colorado had to leave yesterday, and she told him to remember that she has a burial plot next to my Dad's. My brother can usually tease her out of anger or sadness and get her to laugh, but not this time. It's gutwrenching to know that she's aware that something's very wrong, and she may be dying.

We don't have Medicaid set up yet (waiting on the evaluation & prescription for care) so right now we're all taking turns staying with her at her home. I'll be missing 2 days of work this week, but that's all we can do for now.

Thanks for "listening", all of you. I'll probably come here to vent from time to time. ;)

Pray for us.
  • 0
Winner of the 2004 Lady Byng Award and the 2003 and 2004 Joe Nieuwendyk award.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"He has no ego," says Lou Lamoriello, general manager of the New Jersey Devils. "I don't think he has a selfish bone in his body. It gets infectious with people around him, but that's Joe. Having him here was something very special."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the simple truth is this -- before and after Joe Nieuwendyk, this franchise has not been as good. Yes the same could be said for others, but Nieuwendyk's effect on his team, on his team's best players, on the fans and in the community can only be compared to, well, what Jarome Iginla is doing now in Calgary. Ralph Strangis, dallasstars.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

#19 dallasdevil15

dallasdevil15

    All-Star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,328 posts

Posted 25 January 2004 - 09:25 PM

Nieuwy,
We love you here! I wish your family all the best and all of you are in my prayers. I know I'm younger and all, but I enjoy talking and I just want you to know I'm here for you if you need me. -Meg
  • 0
ďIíve been fortunate enough to play on some pretty good hockey teams, and Iíve been fortunate enough to win two Stanley Cups. I donít know what more I could ask for.Ē -Jamie

Posted Image

How much Mat could a Matvichuck chuck,
If a Matvichuck could chuck Mat?

#20 devilsfan26

devilsfan26

    Hall of Famer

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,771 posts

Posted 27 January 2004 - 04:21 PM

I'm sorry to hear this. :(
Good luck to you and your family. You're in my prayers, as well.
  • 0
"Swim against the tide, don't follow the group, stay away from the majority, seek out the fresh and new, stay away from the poseurs, and don't be a barnacle. Be original, be different, be passionate, be selfless and be free. Be a hockey fan."
--John Buccigross




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users