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ITB: Chris Pronger elbows Charlie Sheen until he gives up catchphrase


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#1 SteveStirling

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Posted 28 March 2011 - 09:45 PM

Philadelphia defenseman and noted douchebag Chris Pronger recently elbowed Charlie Sheen into signing over the rights to his now famous catchphrase “winning,” according to the troubled actor.

Pronger recently made an appearance on Sheen’s Facebook page, prompting discussion about how the two knew each other. Sheen apparently says the meeting wasn’t friendly.

“See I was sitting here man, just riding through space and time on a screaming mind bullet, just riding that sh!t and high-fiveing the warlocks of the highway of truth and this venomous troll made of elbows came up to me man and he says, he says, I’m about to throw some ballistic jelly on in front of your torpedo of truth. So I’m swimming through elbow jelly, trying to find my way through some panther joints and gorilla tendons. The only way I got out of that man, the only way, was to latch onto a golden elbow and let it lift me, hoist me back onto my righteous torpedo of truth. And now I’m flying again, leaving a trail of tiger blood in my wake. I lost some heavy baggage on the way, but that sh!t was just slowing me down,” Sheen told ItB.

A man standing next to Sheen translated.

“Chris Pronger elbowed him until he agreed he never came up with the term ‘winning,’” the man said.

Pronger, reached by ItB while holding a steak just out of reach of a skinny, tied up pit bull, said he had met with Sheen.

“Yeah. We had a discussion. He’s been using my catchphrase “winning” a little too much. I came up with it a week before he started using it, because I’m wicked good at it,” Pronger said. “So my attorney and I talked with him.”

As he said attorney, he motioned towards his elbow and winked. “Booyah.”

Asked if he was inferring he elbowed Sheen, Pronger became upset.

“If you’re accusing me of assault you’ll have to speak to my attorney,” he said.

This reporter would like to take this moment to clear the record that there is no evidence that Chris Pronger elbowed Charlie Sheen or anyone ever, that Chris Pronger is a pretty rad guy and mention it was totally nice of him to lend me an ice pack after I walked into his doorframe, inadvertently giving myself a black eye.

 

 


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