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Member Since 12 Jan 2009
Offline Last Active Oct 27 2015 09:39 AM

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In Topic: Slow News Day: Kremlin Edition- Could IK Come Back to NHL?

25 March 2015 - 08:16 AM

I think Kovalchuk is like that gorgeous ex girlfriend from college. You dated her, both of you changed for the better. Everywhere you went, people stared at her in amazement. And then, a year after you proposed, she left you to go home. She left you in shambles. And you hated her, you hated her so, so much. But you saw Facebook photos of her and knew you were still in love. In the years without her, you lost your job, your apartment. Your life, for the most part, has been miserable without her. Yeah, you don't spend money on her any more which is nice, but you replace her cost with cigarette-smelling strippers named Brunner and hookers named Ryder. You had a short stint with a cute girl named Jagr, but that's done now too.


And then, a few years later, when you think you might be getting over the pain, you get a text. "Hey", she says. "I miss you. I want to come back. I still love you."


Maybe it's about the money, maybe she got bored going back home. Maybe you should be the bigger man and move on. But you haven't scored with any chicks in forever, your future looks bleak, and when you close your eyes at night you can still picture her doing that cute little dance, where she puts her knee on the ground and her hand in the air. She always used to say that 'This is Couple', and it was adorable. 


So what do you text back?