NJCroMag

Is that a Boston accent you've got going there?

I could say yes.  But, then again, I could say no.

So I'll say no.

But I'd be lying because I really mean yes.

[slight pause]

Yes.  Sorry for the confusion.

Dear Devils,

If you don't win, I shall punish myself by drinking a six-pack of beer.  If you win, I shall reward myself by drinking a 12-pack.

It's true that I win either way, but I want to more win.

Thanks in advance,
NJCro

Let's hear it.

I'll go with Sykora.

That's exactly right. If you read the previous sentence (which was omitted here), it states: "Goalie Martin Brodeur was asked how he thought Parise would measure up to past captains like Scott Stevens, Scott Niedermayer, Elias, Bruce Driver and Jamie Langenbrunner." Just goes to show how much context matters, and why journalists can completely change a story to their liking simply by omitting some choice sentences.

I think even the NJ.COM story is wrong.  Here's how it really went down...

Goalie Martin Brodeur was asked how much he enjoys Parise's famous homemade crab dip.

"He's got to stay here. That's the bottom line," Brodeur said, referring to the fact Parise has only a one-year contract.

Burnside also offers up further proof that he's been skipping his meds by saying the Devils have a shot to win the Atlantic (as well as everybody else in the Division, to be fair):

Jeff (Baltimore)
Scott,Who wins the Atlantic this year? Do you think Jagr will have that big of an impact in Philly or can the Penguins finally win the Atlantic?

Scott Burnside  (1:48 PM)
Jeff; Went with Pittsburgh but this is the best division in hockey I think with the Isles poised to surprise and the Devils generally speaking always in the hunt. Rangers are better and the Flyers should still be a contender even with their overhaul. Should be fun.

Burnside was also idiotic enough to think that the question I posed (that he answered) was genuine, despite it being an obvious goof (look at the wording alone):

Sven Svensen (Oslo, Norway)
Does Adam Larsson of Devils of New Jersey hockey squad have chance of make team? I submit question now and read your answer on screen, Mr. Scott.

Scott Burnside  (1:11 PM)
Sven; Welcome. And looks from all reports out of New Jersey Larsson isn't just going to make the team but will play big minutes to start. Already some are targeting him as a possible Calder Trophy winner as rookie of the year. Should be fun to watch.

Ah, good ol' Burnside...always good for some laughs.  I hope he never goes away...