Posted by MadDog2020
on 19 October 2013 - 03:11 PM
Lmfao, found this over on HF. Hilarious: Back to the Future: NEWARK, NJ November 2030
With the Devils at 4-12-2, 88-year old GM Lou Lamoriello today fired coach Stephen Gionta and replaced him with 85-year old Jacques Lemaire, which makes them the oldest GM/coach tandem in professional sports history. 'This was not Stephen's fault', Lamoriello said after firing his 30th coach since becoming the GM 53 years ago. With the team mired in a losing streak the likes of which hasn't been seen since one-time coach Pete DeBoer, Lamoriello felt a change needed to be made.
After swearing that this was really it two years ago, Lemaire was once again lured out of retirement by Lamoriello. 'I know of noone better equipped to handle the situation we're in right now than Jacques', said the GM. While Lemaire will not go on road trips with the team, he'll be teleconferenced into the room during practice while assistant Scott Stevens runs the day-to-day operations. 'I know every other year I say this is it, but I just cannot say no to Lou', said the erstwhile Lemaire in his twelfth different stint with the team.
Despite such a record of coach turnover and yo-yoing, owners David Blitzer and Josh Harris continue to profess faith in Lamoriello. 'I just had some of his special sauce today', said Blitzer. 'It tastes like Kool-Aid'. Blitzer and Harris are in their eighteenth season of owning the Devils, although Post reporter Josh Kosman reports that the NHL has taken over the team and has the Devils on a budget. Harris vehemently denies these rumors calling them 'pure poppycock'.