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I’ll take 1st pick and I am taking trade offers for the pick

A very clever reference that I obviously NEVER heard while working in a shoe store…

My favorite moment was a pair of young ladies who told me that they couldn’t decide between them which one “gets” me, and do I think I could handle them both. Indeed.

My favorite retail story was when I had just gotten picked up for my current job back in ‘12, but was working at sh!tstop then, so I knew the light was at the end of the tunnel. Some guy came in, flipped his sh!t on me about some stupid game system or another. He actually threatens to beat the sh!t out of me, I said let’s see what you’ve got…. He pops to attention, tosses a salute and says “army, special forces” so I returned it and rattled off where I knew I was going and made up what command I would be under. Never saw that “special forces” guy again, but I ended up getting what I rattled off 2 years later, so that was pretty funny.

You may never have done those things, but you understood. I worked in retail from 1992 at age 15, basically straight through until I got my bar exam results in November 2001. Most of it was spent working in a shoe store. Became a junior assistant manager at age 19 or so, which meant I was allowed to carry keys and open and close. Had lots of fun, what happens in the stockroom stays in the stockroom, hitting on/picking up customers, etc. Also, had to point out whenever a customer was wearing a hairpiece in the following manner: Me: How would you like toupee? Customer (angrily): WHAT DID YOU SAY??? Me: You know, cash, credit card… Customer always selected their payment method in hopes that their clever scalp disguise had not actually been detected and they just misheard me. Every time, and there were plenty. I definitely miss retail, all the time.

Nope. And according to his IMDb he’s actually still working fairly regularly. At 82.

Man, all I gotta say is even if you never track down those last five…you did a hell of a job! Truly.