Off Topic, but a Serious Post

[jagknife]

Normally, I'd put an off topic post in another sub, but I feel it is important enough to post here.

As the holidays arrive, please, look out for one another, including your friends and family. This time of year is rough for some as they don't always feel included or just feel like they aren't valuable to anyone.

I bring this up because about 24 hours ago, I found out a coworker whom I looked up to and went to often for advice took his life in his home, leaving behind a family. He tragically becomes the fourth person I know this year to take their own life. I had no clue. He was always funny, laughing, telling stories and never gave any indication that something was wrong.

I'm writing this to remind everyone that there is always another answer. There is always someone out there who is 100% willing to talk, about anything, if you're feeling awful and like there is now help.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I just HATE feeling like I'm a bystander, so if you're having problems or whatever, direct message me here, find me on twitter [its the same as my handle here] or any other way and I'll be there to help.

Below are contact information for groups of people who are also willing to help and are just an anonymous phone call away.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 [This is also the recommended number for Veterans' Suicide Prevention]

In Canada each province has their own, but here is a link to find the one you may live in http://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/

 

Please please please look out for one another, if anything, we all have the thread of being Devils' fans in common. Never know, that small bond could end up being the ice breaker that could save someones live.

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and any other holidays being celebrated this time of year!

All the best & Let's go Devils,

Jag

[MadDog2020]

I'm so sorry to hear this jag. Good on you for posting this though- we do need to look out for one another and it's important to remember that there is always someone there to talk. Taking your own life is never the answer. My heartfelt condolences to you and your co-worker's family. [emoji26]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[BostonNala370]

23 minutes ago, jagknife said:

Normally, I'd put an off topic post in another sub, but I feel it is important enough to post here.

As the holidays arrive, please, look out for one another, including your friends and family. This time of year is rough for some as they don't always feel included or just feel like they aren't valuable to anyone.

I bring this up because about 24 hours ago, I found out a coworker whom I looked up to and went to often for advice took his life in his home, leaving behind a family. He tragically becomes the fourth person I know this year to take their own life. I had no clue. He was always funny, laughing, telling stories and never gave any indication that something was wrong.

I'm writing this to remind everyone that there is always another answer. There is always someone out there who is 100% willing to talk, about anything, if you're feeling awful and like there is now help.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I just HATE feeling like I'm a bystander, so if you're having problems or whatever, direct message me here, find me on twitter [its the same as my handle here] or any other way and I'll be there to help.

Below are contact information for groups of people who are also willing to help and are just an anonymous phone call away.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 [This is also the recommended number for Veterans' Suicide Prevention]

In Canada each province has their own, but here is a link to find the one you may live in http://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/

 

Please please please look out for one another, if anything, we all have the thread of being Devils' fans in common. Never know, that small bond could end up being the ice breaker that could save someones live.

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and any other holidays being celebrated this time of year!

All the best & Let's go Devils,

Jag

Sorry about your co worker, very nice post, timely. Thank you

[jagknife]

8 minutes ago, MadDog2020 said:

I'm so sorry to her this jag. Good on you for posting this though- we do need to look out for one another and it's important to remember that there is always someone there to talk. Taking your own life is never the answer. My heartfelt condolences to you and your co-worker's family.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Appreciate it MD, some people here know my line of work, which makes it even more brutal but we've got an incredible support system in place and that's helping

[MadDog2020]

Appreciate it MD, some people here know my line of work, which makes it even more brutal but we've got an incredible support system in place and that's helping

You're in my prayers brother. Stay strong.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Satans Hockey]

Sorry to hear all that, thoughts are with you and his family. 

[Colorado Rockies 1976]

I've shared my story here some time ago, but there was a time where I was suffering from severe depression, and all I'll say about it is that it is incredibly serious, and can be crippling and even physically painful.  If you think you might have a problem, talk to someone, get help.  Don't ignore it, think it will just go away on its own, or try to be "strong and silent".  

[jagknife]

I'm boosting this post just because it's Bell Let's Talk day in Canada, I'm sure almost everyone knows what it is and/or how it works, so if you have minute, please send a tweet using #BellLetsTalk

Thanks

-Jag

[mfitz804]

On 12/23/2016 at 0:01 PM, Colorado Rockies 1976 said:

I've shared my story here some time ago, but there was a time where I was suffering from severe depression, and all I'll say about it is that it is incredibly serious, and can be crippling and even physically painful.  If you think you might have a problem, talk to someone, get help.  Don't ignore it, think it will just go away on its own, or try to be "strong and silent".  

I've not shared my struggle, which is ongoing, but can confirm you are 100% right. 

Coming to forums and cracking jokes helps a bit. 

[jagknife]

Tonight, we had our Christmas party and one of the first photos we featured was one that made me create this post nearly a year ago. My squadron is a tight knit group and it made me think of those on here.

We again approach the holiday season, and for some the holidays have already started, please look out for one another, and for those that feel like that would rather be alone, at the minimum reach out to them.

If anyone needs someone to talk to, for literally anything, message me here or the other avenues that I have made available through here, and I will be more than willing to talk. It just may take me a little bit or so to get back but I swear I will.

I know some may look at this post as a lame one or just blow it off, but for me, it hits way to close to home.

 

-Jag (KW)

[SterioDesign]

my cousin took his life leaving a family behind too a few weeks ago. This time of the year is definitely a trigger to a lot of people. Truly heartbreaking

[EdgeControl]

I certainly take it for granted, thanks for bringing attention to this..this time of the year can be very hard for some

[Gunslinger27]

Jags, great job on the post !

Condolences my brother.............

 

LGD

[mfitz804]

10 hours ago, jagknife said:

Tonight, we had our Christmas party and one of the first photos we featured was one that made me create this post nearly a year ago. My squadron is a tight knit group and it made me think of those on here.

We again approach the holiday season, and for some the holidays have already started, please look out for one another, and for those that feel like that would rather be alone, at the minimum reach out to them.

If anyone needs someone to talk to, for literally anything, message me here or the other avenues that I have made available through here, and I will be more than willing to talk. It just may take me a little bit or so to get back but I swear I will.

I know some may look at this post as a lame one or just blow it off, but for me, it hits way to close to home.

 

-Jag (KW)

You’re a good dude, that deserves mentioning. 

[jagknife]

1 hour ago, SterioDesign said:

my cousin took his life leaving a family behind too a few weeks ago. This time of the year is definitely a trigger to a lot of people. Truly heartbreaking

My condolences SD its such a brutal feeling.

[jagknife]

Just now, mfitz804 said:

You’re a good dude, that deserves mentioning. 

Appreciate it.

I know for a fact I was able to help another friend back in October when we were TDY together, and literally all I did was get tanked with him and get talking. Turns out we both were having similar problems following our most recent deployment, him more so. One of the best feelings in the world when I could actually relate and talk him through steps I had already gone through.

[jagknife]

Its been two years since I made the first post of this thread, and as the anniversary approaches, I just wanted to take the few minutes to once again bump this thread and offer up an ear in case someone needed it.

We all bicker back and forth and of course this team has been driving us insane this season, but we're one big screwed up family/community, in a good way.

Over the past year, I've had a lot to be grateful for, my two sons and becoming an instructor at my job are the two big events for this year. When I look back to where I was two years ago, I cant help but think my buddy is proud in his afterlife, but I couldn't imagine the pain he was enduring to drive him to what he did. I know that as I continue down the instructor path, I'm going to take all the good aspects of his methods and use them with mine to build the next generation of flyers.

That being said, this forum was a great escape for me when I was deployed all three times so far, even though the summers drag on here haha. I love being able to shoot the sh!t and talk hockey, especially Devils hockey, with people who actually share that passion, especially considering I'm in the middle of nowhere now, lol.

Guys, Gals, and all you other people, if ya need someone to vent/rant/confide in because things just aren't going the way you want them to, hit me up via a direct message. Holidays suck for some people, just don't let it overtake you.

Merry Christmas, Happy Belated Hanukkah, and enjoy any other holiday you may personally celebrate.

-Jag

[mfitz804]

Right back at ya, my man. You're a good dude. 

Edited December 19, 2018 by mfitz804

[titans04]

On 1/25/2017 at 8:41 PM, mfitz804 said:

I've not shared my struggle, which is ongoing, but can confirm you are 100% right. 

Coming to forums and cracking jokes helps a bit. 

Same here after losing my wife of 28 years unexpectedly in Jan 2016.  The depression and dark times are pretty much endless.  Hang in there buddy and anybody else that is dealing with the daily struggle.

[mfitz804]

Wow total theowback to an old thread I forgot about. I called you a good dude nearly 2 years apart without realizing it! 

[jagknife]

2 hours ago, mfitz804 said:

Wow total theowback to an old thread I forgot about. I called you a good dude nearly 2 years apart without realizing it! 

Appreciated it both times!

[jagknife]

As we approach the holiday season with Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanza next week, I am doing my annual bump of this thread in memory of my friend(s) and to help those still battling their own way.

Each year, I advocate those around me to reach out if they need anything, literally any time, but a few weeks ago, I realized I was doing so without providing much credibility of myself. So here;'s a bit of my backstory WARNING: Emotional post ahead. In 2016, about two months before I had made the original post, I was diagnosed with the early stages of PTSD. It was a freaking nightmare to be in the middle of a store and have to stop walking because I felt overwhelmed. My wife and I were walking down an aisle, looking at cereal, and I froze dead in my tracks, gripped the cart white knuckle tight and struggled to breathe. After what felt like an eternity, I was able to tell her I need to leave and we eventually left the store. A few days or weeks went by and we were watching Stranger Things and during the scene where they pull fake Will from the quarry, it played the same song from the end of 'Lone Survivor'  (blacked out for any possible spoilers, three full years later, lol) and again I lost my mind, uncontrollably sobbing. I couldn't even get the words out to my wife, other than saying "I need help." The next day, I went right in to mental health on base, terrified anyone would find out or I'd see someone I'd recognize, but I knew I had to go, I couldn't live like that anymore. Add to it multiple suicides of close friends after I had started treatment, and let me tell you that I was beyond thrilled I had someone to confide in and be able to, for lack of a better term, dump my problems on.

Now, the point of that anecdote isn't to garner sympathy, its to show how it is possible for anyone to recover. I went from being a person who lived in a world of fear that the slightest thing would trigger an attack to, in just a few months, I was able to at least control when those things happen.

I WANT TO HELP. Literally anyone, if you need someone to blow off steam to, for fvck's sake message me on here and I'll give you my number and we can chat or even talk on the phone.

I've been shot at on the ground, shot at in the sky and held my friends so damn tight when they've landed cause it was an absolute miracle they survived getting shot at. I've held one of my friends who's been overseas with me each time I've gone when he was drunkenly broke down over everything he's been through and me just telling him "i get it" was enough to look at me with that confused look as if to say "really?" and I just nodded back then we shared stories sitting in the parking lot of a hotel.

We all have our baggage (from military, first responders, to every day people, we're all the same), hell this team can drive us to the emotional point of exhaustion from stress, it is absolutely not a sign of weakness to reach out to people to talk about it, or even just to ask for help.

Lastly, as I wrap this marathon post up and sip a beer following another tough loss, a group I've reached out to work with is the Mental Health League (https://mentalhealthleague.com/). Its just starting up, and a few of their "teams" are just starting up, but the idea is to win more days than you lose, treating recovery like a fantasy sports league. I've volunteered to be the Point of Contact for their PTSD team once enough people to sign up for it, but told them I'm absolutely willing and able to help anyone that needs an ear.

In closing, you can see the previous posts and know how much mental health means to me.

I wish all of you nothing but the best this holiday season. Hope you and your families have a happy and safe (insert your specific celebratory holiday here), and maybe we all can share a beer sometime together.

Merry Christmas & let's go Devils.

-Jag

[Nicomo]

You’re a good man, Jag. Not enough people like you out there. 

[Colorado Rockies 1976]

Wow Jag...all I’ve got to say is that I’m glad you’re not only a part of this community, but here in this world.  We’re all better for knowing you.

And as someone who once struggled with severe depression (and though I’m in much better shape now, it never really goes away entirely, at least not for me), if you ever feel like you need help or should talk to someone...don’t hesitate.  Don’t hope that it will just go away on its own, or worry that people will think you’re weak for not “sucking it up”.  Get help, talk!

[jagknife]

3 hours ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said:

Wow Jag...all I’ve got to say is that I’m glad you’re not only a part of this community, but here in this world.  We’re all better for knowing you.

And as someone who once struggled with severe depression (and though I’m in much better shape now, it never really goes away entirely, at least not for me), if you ever feel like you need help or should talk to someone...don’t hesitate.  Don’t hope that it will just go away on its own, or worry that people will think you’re weak for not “sucking it up”.  Get help, talk!

Absolutely agree, I don’t think it will ever go away, but is a hell of a lot more manageable, and that for me in itself a huge freaking relief. I never was put on medication nor was I told to stop flying when I went to talk and knowing my doctor had no intentions of stopping me from doing normal things also helped the recovery.