Off Topic, but a Serious Post

[vadvlfan]

Great and appropriate post! All of us have folks in our lives that are troubled and you'd never know it.  

[Gunslinger27]

On 12/22/2016 at 7:21 PM, jagknife said:

Normally, I'd put an off topic post in another sub, but I feel it is important enough to post here.

As the holidays arrive, please, look out for one another, including your friends and family. This time of year is rough for some as they don't always feel included or just feel like they aren't valuable to anyone.

I bring this up because about 24 hours ago, I found out a coworker whom I looked up to and went to often for advice took his life in his home, leaving behind a family. He tragically becomes the fourth person I know this year to take their own life. I had no clue. He was always funny, laughing, telling stories and never gave any indication that something was wrong.

I'm writing this to remind everyone that there is always another answer. There is always someone out there who is 100% willing to talk, about anything, if you're feeling awful and like there is now help.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I just HATE feeling like I'm a bystander, so if you're having problems or whatever, direct message me here, find me on twitter [its the same as my handle here] or any other way and I'll be there to help.

Below are contact information for groups of people who are also willing to help and are just an anonymous phone call away.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 [This is also the recommended number for Veterans' Suicide Prevention]

In Canada each province has their own, but here is a link to find the one you may live in http://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/

 

Please please please look out for one another, if anything, we all have the thread of being Devils' fans in common. Never know, that small bond could end up being the ice breaker that could save someones live.

 

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and any other holidays being celebrated this time of year!

All the best & Let's go Devils,

Jag

Jags, Awesome post my brother ! Huge thumbs up...............

Happy Holidays..............

[titans04]

Same here for me the struggle never gets easier in fact quite the opposite. It can be a cruel cruel world and we'll never know what others around us are struggling with. . At my most recent brain injury support group meeting a question came up would you wish your situation on your worst enemy and all 12 of us said hell no.  Speaks volumes when you think about that for a second. As someone who's lost three extremely successful career VP level corp execs peers within the last 5 years along with my wife the pain underneath the surface is insanely real.

So love harder, hug longer and never ever take anything for granted. 

JAG thank you for opening up this can of worms a few years back, without it  I would of always hidden the monsters that are so real in my mind. 

Edited December 22, 2019 by titans04

[Devs1965]

Thanks Jag for the post. It is very important to me to hear and see others who not only want to help but also identify with SD. Holidays have always been a very difficult time for me especially my younger years in E. Rutherford. 6 years ago I hit rock bottom and got sober it really felt like I could not live another day. 6 years later I still suffer at this time of year but I also live in a solution today. I also help by volunteering for programs at the Covenant  House which has help ease the pain of my younger years. Like Jag said if you need help talk about about it, Now one needs to be alone. 

Edited December 23, 2019 by Devs1965

[NJDfan1711]

Just now seeing this entire thread.  I echo Jags sentiments and if anyone ever needs to talk, about anything, I'm an ear.  Fire away.  No judgments or anything at all, I'm just happy to listen.  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you, my friends.  You're like family. 

 

 

[aclc79]

On 12/21/2019 at 9:54 AM, vadvlfan said:

Great and appropriate post! All of us have folks in our lives that are troubled and you'd never know it.  

Just being present to those who are hurting may mean more to them than you know.  We need to be there for those others.  Merry Christmas everyone.

[mfitz804]

An issue closer to my heart than I’m comfortable talking about. But I always appreciate when my man start his these threads annually. 

Those who know about it know the holidays can be tough. 

Thanks, Jag. 

[RunninWithTheDevil]

Thought about this thread a lot today. Had Christmas Eve with my girlfriends family and the last 5 years have felt "off" since her father took his own life. Something feels missing and it is. And we all have to dance around the fact that he's not here anymore and it kills me to see her mother sit in the corner and watch us play with his grandkids who may not remember him someday. I lost my father almost 8 years ago to kidney failure and I know Christmas will never be the same. You get used to the loss, but you're never really over it. The only thing that helps me through the holidays is knowing I am her rock and she's mine. The point of my rambling tonight is: appreciate what you have when you have it, and if you love someone; show them every chance you can. Because someday, you might wish you had more. 

[jagknife]

Tonight, I walked off of my plane for the last time. I’ll be honest with everyone, it’s been a brutal last few days knowing I won’t fly with 95% of these people again and more than likely won’t do what I’ve been doing for the last 6 years anymore. While it is nearly 100% by choice, it still doesn’t make it any easier.

This thread has been my annual way to remind people to look out for one another, but as I walk away from the home I’ve known for the better part of a decade, I felt a bump was in order, since this place was what drove me to do so in the first place.

We had a handful of friends over this past weekend, cracked open some good drinks and cigars and shared stories. So I’m in a good place, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I looked like a Mark Messier going away ceremony...

Stay healthy my friends, be excellent to each other and (eventually) Lets go Devils!!!

-Jag

[Crisis]

7 hours ago, jagknife said:

Tonight, I walked off of my plane for the last time. I’ll be honest with everyone, it’s been a brutal last few days knowing I won’t fly with 95% of these people again and more than likely won’t do what I’ve been doing for the last 6 years anymore. While it is nearly 100% by choice, it still doesn’t make it any easier.

This thread has been my annual way to remind people to look out for one another, but as I walk away from the home I’ve known for the better part of a decade, I felt a bump was in order, since this place was what drove me to do so in the first place.

We had a handful of friends over this past weekend, cracked open some good drinks and cigars and shared stories. So I’m in a good place, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I looked like a Mark Messier going away ceremony...

Stay healthy my friends, be excellent to each other and (eventually) Lets go Devils!!!

-Jag

Cheers

[eldon]

Stay well, positive and confident. 

[jagknife]

3 hours ago, eldon said:

Stay well, positive and confident. 

I am, all of the above, just bittersweet to leave this community. Really excited for what’s to come, but it was definitely one of those moments sponsored by Kleenex.

[mfitz804]

10 minutes ago, jagknife said:

but it was definitely one of those moments sponsored by Kleenex.

The less fun kind of such moments.

Edited July 9, 2020 by mfitz804

[titans04]

21 hours ago, jagknife said:

Tonight, I walked off of my plane for the last time. I’ll be honest with everyone, it’s been a brutal last few days knowing I won’t fly with 95% of these people again and more than likely won’t do what I’ve been doing for the last 6 years anymore. While it is nearly 100% by choice, it still doesn’t make it any easier.

This thread has been my annual way to remind people to look out for one another, but as I walk away from the home I’ve known for the better part of a decade, I felt a bump was in order, since this place was what drove me to do so in the first place.

We had a handful of friends over this past weekend, cracked open some good drinks and cigars and shared stories. So I’m in a good place, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I looked like a Mark Messier going away ceremony...

Stay healthy my friends, be excellent to each other and (eventually) Lets go Devils!!!

-Jag

Stay strong Jag, be well, healthy and continue to find that inner peace and hold onto it.

Goes for the rest of you guys as well. There's a whole lot more important stuff going on than if we're gonna suck less if and when the next season starts. 

Edited July 9, 2020 by titans04

[jagknife]

Alright everyone, I know I bumped this thread when I had my finif-flight with my last organization back in July, but yesterday was the 4 year anniversary of the event which lead me to make this original post.

I've thought for a few days now on what I'd post and to be honest, even as I'm typing, I'm making it up as I go, so apologies for the rambling.

I know that while COVID has created more headaches than all of use probably thought would happen, I know it has forced myself to reach out to more people than I typically have. The family and I will be traveling for the first time since the move, taking extra precautions to ensure health and safety. I know for a lot of people that will not be the case, so please, everyone, find that friend on your list that you occasionally think, "man, I wonder what they're up to" and send that text/message/card. It could take minutes of your time, but for that person, it could be the simple act that changes a mind-set. I'm a member of a support group on FB and just watching the near instant reactions on there from someone finding a post that is out of the norm or a red flag has quite honestly saved lives, three just from my tally alone.

Traffic dies off on here at certain times, but for me personally, just being able to check in and seeing some posts, especially when I was not home, was enough to give me a bit of a break from what was going on.

I love this board, glad to be a member of it for however many years (I joined well before I started posting so those dates are off), appreciate all of ya (yes, even those I bicker and banter with. We're a dysfunctional family after all) and as always, if anyone EVER needs someone to talk to, having a bad day or whatever hit me up.

Merry Christmas, happy belated Hanukkah, or happy Insert-Holiday-Here!

LGD and remember, only a few short weeks until we actually see Devils hockey again!

-Jag

 

[mfitz804]

I’ll follow this with the annual acknowledgement of what a good guy Jagknife is. It’s a great offer and those who need someone to talk to probably count themselves very lucky to “know” you, my man. 

[NJDfan1711]

This thread is bump-worthy every year.  It's been an especially tough year for just about everyone, and I'm happy to piggy-back onto Jag's efforts and say that if anyone needs or wants someone to talk to, about anything, feel free to fire away with a PM or any sort of message - always happy to listen.  

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays my fellow NJDevs members.

[jagknife]

With our travel day tomorrow, and the season now on pause, figured what better time than to do my annual post bump.

Over the past few weeks, I became a certified Standards of Conduct, Sexual Assault Prevention, and Suicide Prevention instructor. It’s been about three years coming but finally the timing worked where I was able to make it happen. 

On Monday, in an effort to think outside the box for the instruction, I relieved the events of 5 years ago in narrative form and emphasized to the attendees the importance of how the warning signs, even looking back now, weren’t there at all. We talked about how a simple text literally can change someone’s path and that no one should be afraid to ask for help nor reach out to help. There’s plenty of protections for individuals who get help that they can still continue their careers, and absolutely be successful in doing so without blowback from saying “hey, I need a wingman…”

It felt great to hear the feedback of, “wow, finally an instructor who shares their experiences instead of just reciting the slides” pretty frequently from the 4 courses I taught that day alone.

With COVID deciding to be a Dick again and possibly screwing up a lot of people’s plans, be that helping voice folks. See if your buddy’s from years ago are still doing well, or that friend you just saw yesterday and pounded a beer with us actually good when they got home. Lord knows us Devils’ fans need it (see, deep posts can still have some humor.)

I appreciate all of you guys, wishing the best as always.

- Jag

[titans04]

Every year this hits like a sledgehammer because it's a way many people live but you would never know on the surface.  For those of you who maybe curious of what it's like I was asked to write about my experience a few months ago for a website that was created by an amazing young lady who's brother who I happen to love like a son suffered a horrific TBI. She on the surface thought my story would be inspiring. Truthfully I find it dark and as the Shinedown song goes, My Monsters Are Real. Just last week my daughter and I went to see Smith and Myers (the two lead guys from Shinedown they do an acoustic tour when Shinedown is off ) and Brent Smith started talking about the next song and how much it meant to him because he opened up about his addictions he still fights but that Monsters are real and some people have to deal with them every day and it's really really heavy.  I just looked at my daughter who halfway through his talk grabbed my hand and handed me a tissue. Without her the Monsters would have won out by now there's not question about it.

Anyway it's not meant to be about me, it's meant to be about you have no idea what someone else is going through unless you live it and those of us that live it are most thankful that you and our families truly don't understand. We don't want you to understand the level of anxiety and depression, ever. We don't ever want you to live it.

Anyway it's about  15 min read, and I didn't write the title, it certainly doesn't fit my outlook on life most days. The part that is certainly 100% accurate is I can listen and relate to others who live with similar demons within. The kind you can't see from the outside, the kind I think are the most dangerous.

My sincerest wish is for you and your families to be safe both physically and emotionally always. Everything else well it truly doesn't matter.

Sorry for rambling.

https://www.redefyne.org/post/scott-s-anoxic-brain-injury-an-inspiration-a-work-in-progress

Edited December 22, 2021 by titans04

[RunninWithTheDevil]

I am honestly so glad you guys bumped this thread with such spectacular examples of sharing and reaching out 

[NJDfan1711]

19 hours ago, titans04 said:

Every year this hits like a sledgehammer because it's a way many people live but you would never know on the surface.  For those of you who maybe curious of what it's like I was asked to write about my experience a few months ago for a website that was created by an amazing young lady who's brother who I happen to love like a son suffered a horrific TBI. She on the surface thought my story would be inspiring. Truthfully I find it dark and as the Shinedown song goes, My Monsters Are Real. Just last week my daughter and I went to see Smith and Myers (the two lead guys from Shinedown they do an acoustic tour when Shinedown is off ) and Brent Smith started talking about the next song and how much it meant to him because he opened up about his addictions he still fights but that Monsters are real and some people have to deal with them every day and it's really really heavy.  I just looked at my daughter who halfway through his talk grabbed my hand and handed me a tissue. Without her the Monsters would have won out by now there's not question about it.

Anyway it's not meant to be about me, it's meant to be about you have no idea what someone else is going through unless you live it and those of us that live it are most thankful that you and our families truly don't understand. We don't want you to understand the level of anxiety and depression, ever. We don't ever want you to live it.

Anyway it's about  15 min read, and I didn't write the title, it certainly doesn't fit my outlook on life most days. The part that is certainly 100% accurate is I can listen and relate to others who live with similar demons within. The kind you can't see from the outside, the kind I think are the most dangerous.

My sincerest wish is for you and your families to be safe both physically and emotionally always. Everything else well it truly doesn't matter.

Sorry for rambling.

https://www.redefyne.org/post/scott-s-anoxic-brain-injury-an-inspiration-a-work-in-progress

Are you Scott/James that wrote that article from the first-person?  I read nearly the entire article and if that happened to you, that really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that.  It's great that you're still here, despite all of the BS that you're still dealing with.  I saw at the end of the article you (or James/Scott, if that isn't you) posted your contact information and said you're available 24x7 if other people who have experienced TBI's need someone to talk to, and I just want to say that the feeling is mutual - and I think I speak for the NJDevs community when I say you have an entire forum of people here who are happy you're around and would be glad to talk. 

With that said, I think the potential to talk or help someone if they need it outweighs the risk of being spammed, so if anyone truly does need or want someone to talk to, about anything, here is my own cell phone number:  941 - Seven, Two, Six - 9258.  (I spelled the middle digits phonetically in hopes a bot doesn't pick that up and start spamming my number).

From one Devils fan to another, and one human being to another, keep up the good fight my friend, and a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and blessed New Year ahead to you!

  

[titans04]

4 hours ago, NJDfan1711 said:

Are you Scott/James that wrote that article from the first-person?  I read nearly the entire article and if that happened to you, that really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that.  It's great that you're still here, despite all of the BS that you're still dealing with.  I saw at the end of the article you (or James/Scott, if that isn't you) posted your contact information and said you're available 24x7 if other people who have experienced TBI's need someone to talk to, and I just want to say that the feeling is mutual - and I think I speak for the NJDevs community when I say you have an entire forum of people here who are happy you're around and would be glad to talk. 

With that said, I think the potential to talk or help someone if they need it outweighs the risk of being spammed, so if anyone truly does need or want someone to talk to, about anything, here is my own cell phone number:  941 - Seven, Two, Six - 9258.  (I spelled the middle digits phonetically in hopes a bot doesn't pick that up and start spamming my number).

From one Devils fan to another, and one human being to another, keep up the good fight my friend, and a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and blessed New Year ahead to you!

  

Thanks yeah - it's me. Thanks for the kind words, the goal was for it to be way more than my story but more about what people go through that we can't see and how anxiety and depression can dominate.  About the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter and that there's a brain injury rehab center called Bancroft Neuroscience down here in Toms RIver were I spend two afternoons a week trying to help others who are worse off and that brings me a sense of peace. But overall the personal loses over the last 5 years are too many too count. 

Thanks again NJD means a lot.

Edited December 23, 2021 by titans04

[Chimaira_Devil_#9]

My Grandad passed away unexpectedly two days ago. He was 4 days shy of his 88th Birthday. He had a good innings as they say, but it's been really hard as it was so unexpected and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. So thoughts to everyone missing a loved one this Christmas. 

Thanks for giving me a space to share. 

[DevilMinder]

Sorry for your loss Chimaira.

[mfitz804]

2 hours ago, Chimaira_Devil_#9 said:

My Grandad passed away unexpectedly two days ago. He was 4 days shy of his 88th Birthday. He had a good innings as they say, but it's been really hard as it was so unexpected and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. So thoughts to everyone missing a loved one this Christmas. 

Thanks for giving me a space to share. 

Sorry for you loss my man.