RowdyFan42 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Another message board I'm on recently had a thread where everybody was posting really bad jokes. I thought that since this place is full of weirdos people with great senses of humor, we'd be able to come up with some stinkers of our own. I'll kick it off with a true story: So I was in the supermarket yesterday picking up some things for the long weekend, and while walking through the seafood section I saw a box of whiting filets. I thought to myself, "Who would want to eat Don?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devils731 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 A man walks into a bar.......ouch. That is the best worst joke of all time. -Scott Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRASHER Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 alright.... here's one... I take NO credit for this joke... and I've never typed it out so it may be even WORSE... when I was in high school... all 9,000 years ago ... we had this physics teacher, and each day he would tell bad jokes to make the physics a bit more tolerable... it didn't work.. and it got to the point this one MILDLY amusing joke was actually funny.. anyway... story told...disclaimer made... off we go: This travelling salesman is making his way across the country and stops in at this Indian reservation... looks around the town... and sees this sign.... the sign reads: "Old, wise man remembers every minute of his life... come in and test him" the salesman is like why not.... goes in... sits down with the Indian and asks him: "So what did you have for breakfast back on Dec 13, 1972 ??" the Indian sits... looks.. and speaks back "Eggs" the salesman is like.... ummm... okay... I guess he could have and leaves....goes on his way through his merry little sales life..... 5 years later he happens on the way back through the village....walking through the town he sees the Indian but has long forgotten about him by now.. and trying to be a wiseass he looks at the Indian and raises his arm and goes "HOW !!" the Indian looks back and goes "SCRAMBLED !!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Two nuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moustic Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 How did you make the difference between a squirrel and a teethbrush ? put them under a tree the one who climbs is a squirrel... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 So a string walks in to a bar and tries to buy a beer. The bartender says "Hey you can't drink here, your a string" So they string said "Come on, no one has to know." And the bartender says "Absolutely not!" So the string leaves, puts on a hat and goes back in. "What did I tell you?" said the bartender "You can't be in here!" So the string leaves once again and gets a jacket. Puts it on. Goes back in. "THIS IS THE LAST TIME!" yells the bartender. "GET OUT NOW!" So the string leaves, takes off the hat and coat, twists himself all up, messes up his hair into seperate strands of thread and goes back in. The bartender looks at him and says "Aren't you that string?" And the string replies "No, I'm afraid not!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueNJ97 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 "Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?" "Because he refused to ask for directions." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moustic Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 two ducks walk in the desert... one of both makes fall the other the one who have is nozzle in sand raised up and said : " I don't care I know who have make this ! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he was a fun-gi! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devilsrule33 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 RD your jokes are definetly the worst but that is what the thread is for. Crasher your joke was actually very humerous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nieda Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 this joke if REALLY funny for drunk ppl.. what do you call a big red thing that eats rocks?? a big red rock eater!! im not even drunk and it makes me laugh!! and i like this one.. what doesnt michael jackson think that a lemonade stand is? a singles bar!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! and ok... an american, a canadian, and a newfie are being killed by soldiers. the soldiers ask the american how he wants to die so he says "i want to be shot" so they shoot him. they ask the canadian and he says "i ant to be put into the electric chair" so they put him in the electric chair. then they ask the newfie adn he says "i want to b injected with aids" so they inject the man with aids. after 30 seconds of silence, the man says "haha i fooled you. i'm wearing a condom!!" WEEEEOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOO!! i will soooo get more! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 RD your jokes are definetly the worst but that is what the thread is for. Crasher your joke was actually very humerous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devils731 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 For the American's who aren't up on Canadian culture a "Newfie" is someone from Newfoundland(not sure how its spelled) and is the butt of Canadian jokes similar to Polish people in the US. -Scott Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hells Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 This may seem a bit morbid but... What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common? Their last big hit was "The Wall". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Ouch, Hells Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 What lies on the ground, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Why don't aliens like to eat clowns? Because they taste funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 How did Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Okay one more... What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff! ...What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it's breath! I CRACK MYSELF DOWN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammyk Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 (edited) EDIT: DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited May 30, 2004 by sammyk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ev0lemi Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 why did michael jackson shop at kmart? he saw the sign that read "boys pants half off" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weekes Head Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 hehe ev0lemi! I love bad jokes...I have SO many bad jokes I could tell, it's unreal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
devilsrule33 Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 What does a PS2 and Michael Jackson have in common. they bothg et turne don by children. What does McDonalds and Michael Jackson have in common? They both prefer 6 years old meat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmCanadian27 Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 (edited) Continuing with the Michael Jackson jokes... How do you know when it's time to go to bed at the Neverland Ranch? When the big hand touches the little hand Edited May 30, 2004 by IAmCanadian27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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