Popular Post Colorado Rockies 1976 Posted April 1 Popular Post Share Posted April 1 (edited) It's 10 minutes before closing time at some really sh!tty dive bar somewhere...in comes our pal the NHL to tap NJ Devils on the shoulder: "Hey, Dev, buddy! Remember that not-too-shabby Wild Card chick who seemed to be spoken for? So get this, that guy wearing orange and black who looked like he was in like Flynn? Well not only did he get shot down by a couple of beasts while she was in the bathroom, she caught him in the act and now is just about ready to tell him to fvck right off! And not only that, those other dudes that she was kinda flirting with...well, they're all so banged up now that I don't think she wants to go home with any of them either! Dude, all ya gotta do is not be a complete idiot, ya know, chat with her a little, and you might be able to go with home with her! Whaddya think?" Some more tapping on the shoulder by the NHL, this time much more vigorously. "Dev, are you fvcking listening man? She's AVAILABLE! All ya gotta do is just go talk to her and not be stupid!" NJ Devils finally looks up from the toilet that he's been hunched over for the past half-hour, as he flushes the remainder of that evening's stomach contents to underground oblivion. As the revolting mass of bile and booze whirlpools its way down to the bottom of the bowl, NJ Devils meets the NHL's questioning gaze through watery half-lidded eyes, wipes vomit from his lips, and utters "Huh?" Um, LGD...I guess. Edited April 1 by Colorado Rockies 1976 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nessus Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 Beautifully written. If it were a movie, NJ Dev would have to be played by Lindy Ruff. He would really nail that “huh” line. 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 LGD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 🦨🤢💩🥹💩☠️😱😫 Alright enough emojis! Let's Go Devils! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButlerBulldog Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 LGD! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devs64 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 1 hour ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said: It's 10 minutes before closing time at some really sh!tty dive bar somewhere...in comes our pal the NHL to tap NJ Devils on the shoulder: "Hey, Dev, buddy! Remember that not-too-shabby Wild Card chick who seemed to be spoken for? So get this, that guy wearing orange and black who looked like he was in like Flynn? Well not only did he get shot down by a couple of beasts while she was in the bathroom, she caught him in the act and now is just about ready to tell him to fvck right off! And not only that, those other dudes that she was kinda flirting with...well, they're all so banged up now that I don't think she wants to go home with any of them either! Dude, all ya gotta do is not be a complete idiot, ya know, chat with her a little, and you might be able to go with home with her! Whaddya think?" Some more tapping on the shoulder by the NHL, this time much more vigorously. "Dev, are you fvcking listening man? She's AVAILABLE! All ya gotta do is just go talk to her and not be stupid!" NJ Devils finally looks up from the toilet that he's been hunched over for the past half-hour, as he flushes the remainder of that evening's stomach contents to underground oblivion. As the revolting mass of bile and booze whirlpools its way to the bottom of the bowl, NJ Devils meets the NHL's questioning gaze through watery half-lidded eyes, wipes vomit from his lips, and utters "Huh?" Um, LGD...I guess. Great job lol. In the next few lines you didn't write I envision Dev somehow talking the wild card chick into taking a chance with him. So they go home and she's spending 4 minutes (i.e. 4 games) trying to make Dev's lifeless, drunk weenie work. She's creative and persistent, but Dev and his member fall asleep. Mad and disgusted she kicks the loser out of the bed... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colorado Rockies 1976 Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Devs64 said: Great job lol. In the next few lines you didn't write I envision Dev somehow talking the wild card chick into taking a chance with him. So they go home and she's spending 4 minutes (i.e. 4 games) trying to make Dev's lifeless, drunk weenie work. She's creative and persistent, but Dev and his member fall asleep. Mad and disgusted she kicks the loser out of the bed... Sadly I think absolute best case is he manages to stay upright just long enough to stumble out of the bathroom and attempt to introduce himself… at which points he projectile sneezes all over her blouse and then immediately starts dry-heaving. Edited April 1 by Colorado Rockies 1976 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 This may be my favorite GDT of the year so far 🤣 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colorado Rockies 1976 Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 6 minutes ago, MadDog2020 said: This may be my favorite GDT of the year so far 🤣 Sanity through laughter 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 1 minute ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said: Sanity through laughter Laughter is all we have 🤣 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colorado Rockies 1976 Posted April 1 Author Share Posted April 1 (edited) 22 minutes ago, MadDog2020 said: Laughter is all we have 🤣 All kidding aside for a sec, man, seriously, if you’re the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference, how are you not licking your chops at the chum that awaits you in the first round? I know that kooky sh!t can always happen in the NHL come playoff time, but the teams currently in the hunt for the WC2 slot (and even the Metro3 spot for that matter) are incredibly weak. Edited April 1 by Colorado Rockies 1976 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 12 minutes ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said: All kidding aside for a sec, man, seriously, if you’re the #1 seed in the Metro or Atlantic, how are you not licking your chops at the chum that awaits you in the first round? I know that kooky sh!t can always happen in the NHL come playoff time, but the teams currently in the hunt for the WC2 slot (and even the Metro3 spot for that matter) are incredibly weak. Yeah Rags or Boston should cruise, no doubt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devs64 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 2 minutes ago, MadDog2020 said: Yeah Rags or Boston should cruise, no doubt. Not so sure about both... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Devs64 said: Not so sure about both... Yeah I was saying whoever ends up getting the #1 seed should cruise. It’s gonna be either the Rags or Boston. Edited April 1 by MadDog2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devs64 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 52 minutes ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said: Sadly I think absolute best case is he manages to stay upright just long enough to stumble out of the bathroom and attempt to introduce himself… at which points he projectile sneezes all over her blouse and then immediately starts dry-heaving. You are talking reality lol. My script is pure fiction. On a serious note, do not underestimate the WC2 holder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nessus Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 4 hours ago, Devs64 said: Great job lol. In the next few lines you didn't write I envision Dev somehow talking the wild card chick into taking a chance with him. So they go home and she's spending 4 minutes (i.e. 4 games) trying to make Dev's lifeless, drunk weenie work. She's creative and persistent, but Dev and his member fall asleep. Mad and disgusted she kicks the loser out of the bed... If there were ever a perfect analogy for the Devils’ 2023-2024, I think a lifeless, drunk weenie is it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButlerBulldog Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 It’s 1-0 Penguins. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJDfan1711 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 Let's Go Devils... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagknife Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 9 hours ago, Rock said: 🦨🤢💩🥹💩☠️😱😫 Alright enough emojis! Let's Go Devils! Go back to whatever AHL team you’re with, Kinkaid! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJDevils1214 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colorado Rockies 1976 Posted April 2 Author Share Posted April 2 10 minutes ago, NJDevils1214 said: Said it elsewhere but based on the current standings, Devils pretty much gotta run the table now, and STILL hope for considerable help. Yeah that ain't happenin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJDevils1214 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 21 minutes ago, Colorado Rockies 1976 said: Said it elsewhere but based on the current standings, Devils pretty much gotta run the table now, and STILL hope for considerable help. Yeah that ain't happenin'. This will probably be the first game of the season that I will voluntarily not turn on. I'm burnt out. It can be over now. I started to write them off when nothing changed in December so I'm surprised I held on as long as I did. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RunninWithTheDevil Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 I'll still be watching because I'm a glutton for punishment 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satans Hockey Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Used a buyback, seasons been over for awhile. Just closer to making it official. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadDog2020 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 4 minutes ago, Satans Hockey said: Used a buyback, seasons been over for awhile. Just closer to making it official. Don’t blame you. I’m going on Sunday; that will be my last game for the season. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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